Safety First
by v2point0
Summary: G1. SEX MAKES BABIES? Well, in some form or another. A crackfic adventure into one of Megatron and Starscream's mistakes. SLASH; M/STSC
1. I Don't Even Care

This r my first TF fic, hurrhurr. Hopefully it does not blow. Immensely.

Before we get underway, I insist upon reading the notes below. They'll help clear things up or cover my sorry ass, possibly:

Okay, so, the terminology of the _Transformers_ is vast, large and sometimes utterly confusing. After studying various terms (through smut fics) and doing research, I believe I've come to grasp the concepts. Also: reading TF smutfics makes you feel perverted and scientific at the same time, I've come to feel. However, things in this story are, of course, twisted with "originality," for lack of a better word.

The interfacing in this story implies energy and circuit manipulating, and overloading resulting in release of spark light/residue. If two spark energies combine, they come to create a sparkling, or a "baby." Though the intelligence of this "baby" is that of an average adult bot since I don't regard any spark being born and developing like a normal human infant would. (Henceforth their sparks are placed in bodies; er, duh.) Spark interfacing sounds a lot like the term "making love," which I don't think Megatron would do, but seeing that this is a crackfic, a lot of things are funked up. I've not yet seen any type of condom counterpart, so I went and made one up, haha.

The sparkling between Screamer and Murgatrun is unique as in it is able to function (for seemingly a good amount of time) outside a body as well as aware of the world around it, including senses such as hearing and seeing. This is very rare, but I wanted to apply it since Starscream's spark is one of those abnormal sparks capable of pulling this off. It is, indeed, his kid after all, hurrhurr.

Some phrases were nicked from various continuity series, too, as well as made up. (I don't think there's any real Whoricons in canon.)

tl;dr: if I'm off by things, I'm either doing it on purpose or apparently had a stupid moment. -bends over backwards-

Again, I insist one not to take this fic seriously. Since I'm somewhat new to the fandom (though I've been a _Beast Wars_ fangirl for years), I wanted to start out with something light and playful; a way of testing the waters. Hopefully after this fic, I can span out into stories more serious. And hopefully you'll enjoy this.

**Please note, this story takes place up to episode 2x11 of G1, drifting in a void of spare time before 2x12 as well as a pinch of movie!Screamer. So beware of spoilers. Concrit is welcome, as are your thoughts, but flames I must insist go heeere -points-: CrowTChickATaolDOTcom.**

Okay, let's get started. :3

(/insecure validation)

**Safety First**

by B

Chapter 1:

**I Don't Even Care**

It started out real soft. Not much more than maybe a distant humming or a whisper from across the room. Except when it came to Starscream, a whisper registered as a very migraine inducing hiss. From a distance, it sounded vaguely like one of those Earth reptiles, a snake, with its little rattle tail going shake-a shake-a. When it got closer, however, it was more like one of those human instruments, a maraca, violently shaking by your head.

It was not pleasant, basically was what it came down to.

Megatron had been working on some new invention that resembled a football but with knives embedded in the sides (in one way or another, it would be the undoing of the Autobots - or something), when along came that soft susurrus from clear across headquarters. It was followed by furious _clang clangs_ of stomping feet. The hiss got louder, more violent as it closed in, foot by foot, inch by inch...

Megatron sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Megaaatrrrrooonnn - "

_I used to kill Decepticons for less,_ he thought.

The main entrance doors flew open with loud _thwacks_ and in came Starscream, still trailing out his leader's name in that piercing voice of his.

"-nnnnnn_nnnAH_!" the Seeker finished and halted, nearly breaking the floor beneath his feet. Megatron still had his hand to his forehead. _For less_, he had scrapped both enemies and allies, _for less_.

"What is it, Starscream?" Megatron demanded a klik later. "If you're trying to test my audio sensors, I can assure your good intentions they're working just fine."

Starscream's faceplate would turn red if it were possible. He had those narrowed optics and almost wibble-like frown that said "my face is fuchsia right now." Nonetheless, the Air Commander raised a finger and pointed accusingly at the warlord. "This is no time for jokes - save those for the battlefield like you and your inventions!" he snapped furiously.

"You make such a perfect punchline, however. Emphasis on 'punch', Starscream."

"I said I'm being _serious_!" Starscream whinged and stomped one large foot. Megatron resisted the urge to wince. God, it was like Starscream was one of those little deformed fleshlings. Humans called them "children". Or "brats". Brat sounded more fitting.

Nonetheless, the silver bot lifted a hand and said firmly, "Well, if you have something to say, spit it out quickly then leave me in peace. I was getting to enjoy what it was like without having you around."

Starscream's frown spread across his faceplate. "Petty," he grunted. That's when, with all his raging enthusiasm, he stretched out his other hand, exclaiming, "I woke up from recharging this morning to discover _this_ in my chassis and want to know just _what_ _exactly_ you plan on _doing_ about it!"

Megatron blinked. In Starscream's quivering blue digits was what appeared to be a Cybertronian spark. It was small, fitting perfectly in the Seeker's palm. It had the shape of what appeared to be some type of mutated Earth snowflake, its color a dim silver with a pulse just as equally sluggish. The spark was encased in a small plexiglass box. "Is that a spark?" the Decepticon leader demanded. "If so, which unlucky, small, weak 'bot did you manage to steal that from?"

"Well," Starscream sneered, "it just so happens that part of this spark is _yours_." He gave a mirthful chuckle. "So you're partially right when it comes to the unlucky, small and weak part."

Megatron chuckled alongside him. "I'm recalling the exact same description of yourself yesterday when my cannon was wedged in your mouth," he mused. Starscream scowled. "In any case, what are you suggesting? That this... spark is 'half of mine'?"

"Well, isn't it _obvious_ what I'm saying?" Starscream huffed. "The other half, the stronger half, belongs to _my_ spark. Believe it or not, it is coated in a type of energy field that enables it to perform independent functions without a vessel. Perhaps for a short period of time, perhaps much longer. _Obviously_ another one of my traits." He gave the plexiglass box a poke. Little did he know he was right, considering his spark would one day be wandering aimlessly in space. "If you haven't noticed, the quivering and dim lighting are very similar to your own spark."

"The only quivering and dim thing I see around here is you," Megatron countered. His oil pressure was rising. He'd need Soundwave to do another oil pressure test on him. Hopefully it wouldn't shoot out the roof like it did two weeks ago. Soundwave had put him on a strict diet of banana and broccoli filled iron pouches. "Besides, if I've come to the same conclusion as you, then this spark could mean - "

"It's our _sparkling_!" Starscream finished with a screech that caused something in Megatron's audio sensors to snap.

"Impossible!" the mighty commander declared, swishing a hand dramatically aside for emphasis.

Starscream's right optic squinted suspiciously. "_You_ weren't wearing protection around your spark chamber, were you?" he demanded. Before Megatron could even say a word, he shrieked, "Were you!"

"Of course I did, you dolt!" Megatron snarled, raising a big metal fist. It caused Starscream to recoil by instinct. "Do you think I would risk getting a nano virus from the likes of you!"

Starscream's jaw dropped. "Are you suggesting I'm... infected!"

"Who's the one playing ignorant fool now?"

"Well, I never...!" Starscream huffed much like a little girl, giving his heel another stomp in the ground. "If you were wearing protection, _this_" - he paused to point bitterly at the little spark in his hand - "would have never happened!"

Megatron snorted. "It's very like you to place blame entirely on me, you insecure blabberbot," he sniped.

Starscream's cheeks swelled as his lips pursed together. "Yoooou..." he grumbled, absently raising his free arm to show Megatron the barrel of his null ray.

Alas, Megatron beat him to it, raising his own cannon, much larger and deadlier in size. If he fired, he'd hit the Decepticon Seeker point blank. "... Were saying?" he finished for him with a pleasant little smile.

Starscream's cowardice went on cruise control and he shut his mouth instantly. "... Yoooou got me to thinking. I was just going to say, if you wore protection, then this spark's existence is impossible." He switched his annoyed glare to the boxed light. "With the silicon plate over your spark chamber, your spark residue and my spark residue wouldn't have been able to make contact and splice into a new entity. And since, well, _obviously_ it did...!"

"Contrary to what your nescience brain circuitry has been misleading you to believe," Megatron growled, wondering why the Pit he was explaining himself, "I _know_ I wore protection. And _don't_ you open your mouth - close it right now - because I do recall, quite vividly, you whining at me like some Earthian holler monkey to put the silicon plate on. _Also_, you quite _clearly_ saw me apply it to my chamber." His hands went to his hips and he gave his pelvis a little thrust forward; fabulous display of haughty dominance. "Once more, Starscream, you overestimate yourself."

Starscream felt his own spark raging violently in his chamber. "Say I do believe you," he retaliated, even though he did remember everything Megatron had said, "then there's still no proper explanation for - oh!" The Seeker cut himself short, a hand flying to his mouth, his red optics wide in shock and horror and realization.

Megatron's head titled just the slightest. "What?" he snorted. "Did your processors finally malfunction?"

What came next was another one of Starscream's banshee cries that was loud enough to startle a flock of resting birds. _Clear across the country_. "Yoou!" he cried and there was such fury in his tone and in his face and in his pointing finger it was actually a bit frightening and pathetic. Mostly pathetic. "Yoooou! Yooo_oooou_!"

"Shut up, Starscream!" Megatron spat, audio sensors sobbing with pain. He shot his cannon at Starscream's knee. He'd make another one of those high pitched yelps, but it was one Megatron approved of. Plus it canceled all the others out. "If I wanted to put my head against a siren all day I would do so!"

Starscream made a sniffing noise and rubbed his poor knee cap. "You don't see, do you? The silicon plate you put on must have been chipped or broken! That's the only _logical_ explanation! Even _you_, an illogical person by nat - " he had to pause briefly to gasp when Megatron shot at his feet. Continuing, he said a lot more quietly and politely, "_a very smart and intellectual person_ _by nature_ has to believe that."

A dark "hmm" echoed from deep within Megatron's throat. One hand went to his chin where he gave it a rub, looking so much like a cliche mastermind brainstorming. "For once - and I say this somewhat sincerely - you are being cogent, Starscream."

"Then this entire _mess_," the infuriated Seeker whined, giving the encased spark a shake, "is yours to blame! Why did the mighty, oh so clean and squeaky Megatron not check the silicon plate before putting it on!"

"You dimwitted treacherous whiny annoying little useless son of a slagging Whoricon!" Megatron roared and his words made Starscream hurt a little inside, "I _did_ check the silicon plating! We _both_ checked it! I just stated not even one klik ago that I insisted upon safety when interfacing with you to avoid any possible, most likely mind devouring energon and spark mingling transmitted viruses from getting into my system! Obviously your memory core circuitry is a little off..." The great silver Decepticon grabbed a nearby laser scalpel next to his football death machine and lit it up with a soft _voom_. "Perhaps I can assist in fixing the problem..."

"N-No!" Starscream sputtered, taking a step back. "Y-You're right! We're both - "

The purple energy blade on the scalpel extended with a louder _voom_.

"- _I_ was wrong! T-There's a possibility that during interfacing, we - oh, by Cybertron - I mean I, I, please put that _down_ - tore a hole in the silicon!"

Megatron put Starscream's mind at temporary ease by turning off the scalpel's blade of light. "This is entirely possible," he agreed with a thoughtful hum. "What with the fact most of our interfacing involve punching, kicking, hitting, biting, scratching - "

"-crying, pleading, insulting, utterly _loathing_," Starscream whispered in a low, tiny voice as Megatron idly went on without registering what he said.

"-striking, beating and power play, which you fail at," the Decepticon leader finished, none the wiser of Starscream's added details.

The Air Commander's free hand went to his head, where he gave a low twisted moan that raised in octave as he dragged it out, like every other noise of disapproval he made. "This is such a _tragedy_!" he exclaimed. "To think the first time I would ever make a sparkling, at _all_, be with the one Decepticon I can barely even stand and - "

"Your place in my order. Let me show you it," Megatron interjected and shot Starscream in the groin. Starscream fell right onto his aft with a loud clang and yelp, dropping the sealed spark onto the ground. "Believe you me, if you can manage, the last creature I would ever want to procreate with, if at all, would be you."

Starscream winced as the pain subsided. "Oh, we agree on something yet again," he quipped lowly, though the hit to the FRAGILE area made his voice, magically enough, one pitch higher.

Megatron hoisted his cannon again. "Oho, say what? My communication device cannot translate warbling."

"I was just mumbling to myself like an idiot again, ha," Starscream tittered, swallowing loudly. He snatched up the boxed sparkling and stood, his knees still shaking from the powerful blast. He'd never get used to these hits, but slag it if he didn't try. "Now that we're quite finished, what do yo - we - _I_, plan to do about this?" He held the spark to Megatron.

"As if the answer weren't apparent enough, Starscream," Megatron gibed. Once more his weapon bearing arm was raised, cannon blasting the box. It immediately exploded into tiny shrapnel, coughing up a cloud of debris.

"Ack!" Starscream gasped, quickly wiping shards off his hand. "You almost blew off my hand!"

"I know. I am sorry I didn't," Megatron snickered. He lowered his gun and turned back to his new creation, surely the one who would put an end to the war. "That's been taken care of. Now take your aft and get out of my sight. I can't focus with you squawking in my audio sensors."

Starscream would have been offended - well, okay, he was. "As you wish, oh stupid - _stupendous_ one!" he purred and gave a mock-curtsey. He saw a human female do it at some sort of musical festival next to the welding factory they promptly blew up. With that, he swaggered out of the room, leaving with a string of very quiet Cybertronian curses trailing behind him.

However, both Decepticons failed to notice a softly glowing light beneath one of the nearby control panels. It was the spark, once kept safe inside its little plexiglass home. The blast had damaged it, but only slightly, its chamber having taken ninety percent of the blow. It hovered there in the shadows for a moment, softly glowing in heart beats before it quickly flew after the unsuspecting Seeker, managing to slip outside the door right before it could close.

* * *

III

* * *

The little bastard spark, thought to have been terminated, floated wearily through the Decepticon base. It made sure to stick to the walls, the ceiling, anywhere that cast shadows. Occasionally one of the 'cons would swing by, turn down a corridor unexpectedly, but it always managed to whip itself aside to blend in with the darkness. Though it surely would have liked to be something much more glorious and bright, it was a blessing that its lack of shine failed to catch anyone's eye.

Where it was going, it didn't quite know. It followed by instincts, it supposed, given to all sparklings. A lost sparkling would most likely search for its creators, but it had seen them both and now wished to never see them again. At least, not in this form.

So really, what could it do _besides_ just wander aimlessly? Maybe it would find something worthwhile in the end. This place was certainly interesting and, as homicidal and crazy the residents were, they were also noteworthy for being entertaining and amusing. Not in a way they'd find funny, though.

For example, the little sparkling bobbed as if he were giggling when he watched Skywarp fly _right into_ Thundercracker. The explanation? He thought it'd be funny. Only thing was Thundercracker didn't find possible cranial vault damage all that hilarious and before the itty bitty spark knew it, they were doing something else that was funny. Something that involved throwing each other into walls by their wings and shouting such words even it knew were naughty.

The spark got to see many of the Decepticons and their fellow crewmates. Mostly because today was one of those unofficial "off days." Of course it didn't know what that meant, but these off days usually included sitting around and doing nothing but pissing the night away and each other off. When the Decepticons were lazy, so were the Autobots, who strangely enough found it more important to build a giant basketball court they could play in instead of attacking their sluggish, currently unprepared enemies. Well, everyone needed a vacation now and then.

Its journey came to an abrupt halt by an open pair of doors somewhere towards the heart of the base. The spark withdrew from the doorway and lingered back, "peeking" out from behind the wall and into the room. This room was different from all the others it had seen. They were all plain, simple, boring and filled with both useful and useless junk and weapons. This room, however, was... interesting.

There was thick orange shag carpet spread out along the floor; abstract Cybertronian paintings (all stolen) lined the walls. On both sides of the room were two sets of metal tables with four chairs to each. Towards the back, facing the doors, was what appeared to be a type of bar. On the other side of it were shelves lined with various exotic bottles and cubes of energon of various types and flavors. Just above it a large, blank flat screen.

Soft music was wafting in the air, that of a random cheesy jazz station Soundwave managed to pick up and play through his cassette player. Frenzy and Rumble were sitting at one end of the bar, heckling it up and chugging down some good old energon. To cure their boredom, Laserbeak and Ravage were playing together. It was a rather cute game; first one to shoot the other one down wins.

And sitting next to Soundwave at the bar, giving the spark a little glitch, was Starscream. One of its parental units. A tenebrous darkness loomed above his head.

"You know what, I don't even care, I don't even care," Starscream dribbled in an over-energized stupor. When he was angry, he wasn't very capacious when it came to holding his high grade. He slammed down his empty cube, causing Rumble and Frenzy's own cubes to jump from down the bar.

Soundwave glanced at him briefly then went back to staring at his drink of bright purple liquid, swishing softly 'round and 'round in his transparent cube.

"I-It was his fault, anyway. I mean, if he w-was paying attention as half as much as _I_ was during the interf-facing, the silicon plate wouldn't have been t-torn!" the Seeker exclaimed. One of his optics was threatening to turn off on its own.

Soundwave said nothing. Laserbeak shot Ravage in the nose, sending him flying across the room and into one of the tables. He was the winner this round.

It was pretty much a very "public secret" that Megatron and Starscream engaged in interfacing and energon mingling. Not so often; perhaps once every Earth few weeks. Sometimes only once every Earth month. Not that anyone really cared, or even _wanted_ to know this information. But it became apparent one sunny afternoon on a luxurious off day that could have been very much a Cockaigne when Starscream's rage punched a hole in his private files, causing him to shout, "_I_ could be in the dominate role when interfacing with Megatron! I don't see why _he_ always has to be the plugger! Pit, I'm probably more experienced!"

That was the day all the Decepticons knew, threw up whatever was in their system at the time and lost whatever respect they had for Starscream - which wasn't much - complete. However, since it was out in the open like one giant fucking Cybertronian robophant, Starscream often quipped every now and then about his "femme" role in the relationship when he was either completely wasted out of his logic circuits or when his foolish fury got the best of him.

As for Megatron, he always gave his lieutenant a sound beating whenever he opened his mouth about such private, and embarrassing, matters. Though at first he denied any sort of sexual attraction to Starscream, he'd later resign to the "don't ask (or I'll shoot a hole in your face), don't tell" stance, preferring never, ever to bring the subject up. Everyone was wise enough not to, with or without warning.

No one knew if Megatron and Starscream interfaced out of love or boredom or because they found each others designs attractive. Everyone gambled on the latter two. For the most part, they were right. The two enemies/allies found each other disgusting and despicable, but _Primus_ was the sex great.

"S-See, that's his pro-problem," the Seeker slurred, "i-if he paid more attention to what he d-did and focused less on h-his ego, then-then we might have accomplished destroying those Autoboooobs pfft." He couldn't help but stifle laughter. His red eyes were thick, maroon, a physical manifestation of how shitfaced he was. "I-I could have killed them solar cycles ago m'self, nngh. B-But does-does anyone listen to me?" Here he rose his empty cube to Soundwave with a disapproving, lopsided glare and frown. "Noooo, no. _Never_ l-l-listen to Star-_bleh_-scream..."

Soundwave turned up the volume on his chest.

Starscream shook his head for one solid minute. "Baah! Me-Megafrag's a Megamoron-pfffft!" Once again he bit hard into his bottom lip component, outrageous cackles threatening to flood loose. For some reason, Starscream thought if he didn't let himself writhe with laughter, he'd be saving face and proving everything he said, no matter how silly it sounded, was to be taken seriously. Then again, Starscream was inebriated and could see double of everyone around him.

"B-But I don't care I don't care I don't care..." the intoxicated Air Commander mumbled, swaying just a little. He let out one Hell of a long sigh that started really soft then turned really, really disturbingly deep. Soundwave had tuned him out enough to only hear bits of it.

For a moment, it was quiet on Starscream's end. The music played carelessly, Rumble and Frenzy shared another dirty joke and Ravage shot Laserbeak in the rear end, sending the bird spiraling into a wall, leaving behind a huge smoking hole in his wake. The robot bird slowly slipped from his crevice and hit the ground with a loud _clang_ just as Starscream snapped, "But I don't even care!"

The Seeker reached out and grabbed the bottle of energon Rumble and Frenzy were sharing. Their jaws both dropped. "Hey, that's ours!" Rumble snapped.

"Y-You two idiots have had quite enough," Starscream barked then actually hiccupped. As he filled his cube, he lectured, "As you both know, Skywarp, Thundercracker, _I'm_ the designated flyer and when I say y-you've had too much, y-you've had too much..."

Frenzy looked at his fellow Mini-Cassette. "What's he - "

"Don't even bother," Rumble snickered. He cupped the side of his mouth and whispered lowly, "Dolt's wires are frrrrrrried, man."

Starscream finished half of his cube in one swallow. "The sp-sparkling's destroyed! E-Even then, I-I still can't forgive Mehhh... Mehhh... Morontron's lack of profff-fessionalism! May-maybe if he had gotten a b-better silicon pl-plate..."

Soundwave turned the volume down a couple notches. "Starscream," he said, in his usual processed monotone, "shut up."

The Decepticon lieutenant's faceplate contorted into a strange expression. Right optic narrowed, left wide and a disgusted but baffled triangular gaping mouth took up residence on his face. It was a mesh of various emotions, from annoyed to dumbstruck. His core processor was overheating itself, it appeared. For a moment there, it was tense and Rumble, Frenzy and the two anthromorphic robots were about to stand and get ready for a typical bar fight. Of course they were going to defend Soundwave, but they'd also participate in beating the living lifeforce out of Starscream.

Starscream just sat back a little, shoulders slacked and said lightly, "You are a g-good friend, Thrustjet. I-I think I'll make y-you my s-second in command when I over-er-run Mega... Mega..." His optics squeezed tightly shut, pain swelling in his forehead. "... Whatever I don't even care!" he spat before dropping his face into the cold metal surface of the bar table, knocking his cube of energon onto the floor. Ravage and Laserbeak happily offered to assist in cleaning it up.

Suddenly, the screen above their heads switched on to static and white noise, glitching in and out before Shockwave's face appeared. "Decepticons," he dramatically exclaimed, "if I may have your undivided atten - "

The Seeker's head snapped up and with all the fury of a thousand Decepticons (or more of a husband feeling cheated out of love from his estranged wife), he snarled, "Megatron's not even _g-good_ at interfacing! H-He overloads early! Did you hear me!" He looked around the room, equilibrium chips sparking. "He _overloads early_!" With that final bitter declaration, he shut down and once more acquainted his faceplate with the bar.

It was very quiet for a few minutes. If Shockwave had a face that could convey expressions, it would display utter terror and the very thing half his name stood for.

Soundwave finished his cube. Frenzy reached for the near empty bottle of energon across the bar, only to accidentally knock it over onto Starscream. The bottle emptied its remaining contents down one of his drooping wings.

"Shockwave," Soundwave said a moment later, "inquiries: proceed."

"Oh, uh," Shockwave cleared his throat, the little bulb in the center of his face blinking back on. "I could not reach Megatron's private signal in his office. Do you know why that is?"

"Currently repairing damage caused by Autobot attack to temporary base. Time remaining before repairs finish: one orn," Soundwave retorted.

Shockwave gave his throat another hem-hem again. "I see..." he muttered. His head bowed slightly, and Soundwave stared at him with his blank visor gaze. Finally, Shockwave spoke again. "So, what are you Decepticons up to? How is the war going? Are you winning? I wish so very much I could be aiding Lord Megatron and your plight against the Autobots but I suppose my duty here is of equal importance. Still, you know, perhaps one of you should try a space bridge, come and visit some ti - "

"Feed interrupted," Soundwave hummed. Immediately, Ravage and Laserbeak flew at the screen, hitting it with loud thuds. Shockwave's image immediately disappeared in a warp of light. Nobody was the winner this round.

The commotion was enough to awaken Starscream again, who slapped his hand on the bar and squawked, "I don't even care!"

* * *

III

* * *

It was discerning to the little spark to hear one of its creators talk so lowly of it. As well as the other Cybertronian who had contributed to its birth. As if the sparkling were an accident... even though it clearly was. It shouldn't have surprised the little dim spark that it wasn't wanted or needed. After all, hadn't the second creator tried to blow it to smithereens?

Pondering on all of this, the sparkling's light grew stronger and stronger, but only out of rage. Only out of pure and utter fury. It considered itself a worthy addition to the Decepticons, though it had no name, no body and no real personality. Quite yet, that was. Yet it had that Decepticon spirit; the stubborn strive to show its glory and power to all the universes. It would not allow itself to wallow in self-pity and depression. It knew it was a Decepticon and it knew therefore, it should not be underestimated. The sparkling was _determined_ to make a name for itself.

Whether its creators wanted it to or not.

At first, the sparkling didn't quite know exactly how to go through with its plans. It would need a body, first and foremost. That'd prove most difficult. As if there was just one lying around here some -

Oh.

Quickly, the little spark flitted into the far reaches of the high ceiling, hiding in the darkness that crept down along the walls like slick oil. The room was vast in size with a dome ceiling, filled to the brim with cluttered trash. There were more Decepticons down below, all color coordinated in chartreuse green and violet purple. The Constructicons were in their vehicular modes, shoveling and disposing away heaps of garbage and junk that had been piling up the past few weeks since the new HQ was constructed.

"C'mon, bots," Scrapper shouted over the roar and humming of working machines, "Megatron wants this junk out of here within the next megacycle."

"Huff!" Hook snorted, latching his namesake into one rather large chunk of blue metal. "While all those Decepticons sit on their afterburners, we're out here doing all the hard work. Cleaning up after _their_ mistakes." With an angry grunt, he swung the metal container into Long Haul's trunk.

Long Haul gave a soft grunt at the sudden weight. "Don't torture us with your whining," he hissed. His wheels peeled viciously into the ground as he drove off down a small corridor, leading to the outside world. "As if you're the one hauling pieces of slag back and forth all day..." he grumbled mindlessly as he disappeared.

"Take some fun out of it," Bonecrusher sniggered. He shoved the heel of his foot into a metal plank, watched it split in half with a violent crack. "Just think of this slag as those Autobots. It helps ease the frustration, haha!"

"Bonecrusher!" Hook spat. "You're making more of a mess than you are cleaning it up! I had that area all perfect and organized! Knock it off!"

"Make me."

"What!"

Suddenly, from a heap of rather stinky waste, Scavenger poked out his head with a big beam on his ashen gray face. "I found something interesting, fellow Constructicons!" he exclaimed. Nobody really paid him much mind; he never found anything truly worthwhile. The last time it was two light bulbs melted together from overexposure to heat, the time before that it was a TV antenna with a lizard impaled on it...

Nonetheless, the spunky Constructicon disappeared back under the heap, only to reappear again a few minutes later. He made a soft straining grunt as he crawled out of his little garbage hole, dragging with him a strange object that made all the other Constructicons stop their work immediately.

Scavenger pulled his discovery down the hill of waste and laid it out on the ground, stepping away as his now transformed buddies gathered in a ring to get a look at it. The sparkling, still unnoticed, was consumed immediately with curiosity. It cautiously soared out of the shadows, just a bit, until it had a better view of this treasure Scavenger had salvaged.

When the sparkling saw it, its entire being released a sputter of shocked light.

It appeared to be the body of a Cybertronian. By the purple insignia scratched up on its chest, it was a Decepticon shell. It stretched out to a length of eighteen feet, its metal skin an ashen gray, hands and feet azure blue. The body itself was... Well... A little gangly and mismatched, but certainly not ugly. Along its chassis was a yellow glass cockpit, much like the one on the sparkling's drunk creator. A strange but familiar helm design, and wings as well, only they were small and gnarled, too pitiful and damaged for flight. Its optics were dark, lifeless likes two balls of coal.

"Who's this unlucky fella?" Scrapper mumbled, nudging the hip of the shell with his foot.

"Who cares?" Bonecrusher grunted. "It's permanently deactivated." He gave the body a nudge as well, only it was more so like a fierce kick with his heel. The sparkling found itself suddenly horrified and went to fly forward, to force the Constructicon to back off, but it remembered its place and stilled.

Hook gave his chin a stroke. "Hmm... Doesn't this thing look familiar to any of you?" he hummed. Everyone looked between themselves, shrugging. He squatted beside the shell, his optics scanning it from head to toe. "... It looks like a combination of two designs I've seen before. Nothing superior enough to make me easily remember, however."

"What're you guys doing over there without me? You leave me out and have me do all the dirty work so you can stand around and have a little circle jerk..." Long Haul scowled, driving up behind his crew. He transformed back into his humanoid form, shoving Scavenger aside to join the pow-wow. "The Pit is this bot? Looks like some warped version of Starscream!"

"Starscream!" Hook exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "That's who this shell reminds me of!"

"He does kinda look like him," Mixmaster agreed with a soft chortle. "Yes, yes, I see the resemblance, I do! But no, not entirely, no. There's... more than just Starscream's design present in this ra-ra-rare find..."

"Well, if you ask me," Scrapper added, "some of its attributes remind me of Megatron."

Bonecrusher let out a deep bellied laugh. "A mix of Megatron and Starscream, eh? No wonder it's so fragging ugly!" he cackled. Seconds later, the rest of his companions joined him with merry laughter.

Mixmaster knelt beside the body, running his hands just an inch above it. "Ah, wouldn't you believe it? The chemicals in this compost heap have managed to preserve the body in a near per-per-perfect state! Why, if it wasn't without spark, you'd think it was alive!" he stated, excited.

"I never saw any Decepticon resembling both Megatron _and_ Starscream before," Scavenger said, giving the top of his head a rub. "So where'd this come from?"

There was another round of silence between the Constructicons. The sparkling was shivering with anticipation, hoping one of them would come up with an answer. If this shell was in good condition and functional, then...

"I know," Hook said a few seconds later. Everyone's attention was immediately on him. "Remember when we helped build that cloning machine for Megatron? The one he used to create that Prime double to try and fool the Autobots into the corlonium crystal field?" He dropped a fist into his open hand. "After the project failed, we were told to tear down the cloning device. Before we did, it went haywire, remember?"

"Oh, yes, yes!" Mixmaster agreed, raising a hand. "I remember having to use a spec-spec-special extinguishing solution on it to keep it from sparking ou-ou-out of control!"

"Well, before it finally kicked the spark, it must have released one final clone. A type of fusion between Megatron and Starscream!" Hook explained. "Starscream was the last to use it, and it's most likely the cloning device picked up energy readings from Megatron due to him serving as its operator. Also, the mind control helmets used to activate the clones could have played a vital role, too."

Long Haul shook his head. "I don't remember it doin' that," he replied. "I'd think I'd remember hauling somethin' like that to the trash heap."

"You never notice the slag we throw in you, Long Haul, because you're too busy pitying yourself," Bonecrusher taunted with a twisted smirk.

Long Haul shook a fist. "Why, you - ! You best shut your mouth hole!"

"Make me."

"Seriously, what!"

"It was some time ago," Scrapper intervened, stepping between the two quarreling Constructicons. "We were in a hurry to get the mess cleaned up before Megatron blew a socket. We probably didn't even notice it when we were disposing of the mess."

"Those Decepticons make so many messes, it's hard to keep track anyway," Hook sighed with disappointment, shaking his head. "Such a waste of my talents...!"

Scavenger reached down and picked up the deformed clone, holding it up from under its arms. Its head was slumped forward, lifeless as the rest of its body. "Well, what do you think we should do with it? Show Megatron? He might get a kick out of it!" he sniggered.

"Or he might give _us_ a bunch of kicks for taking a break from cleaning to show him some failed experiment from one of his failed plans," Hook suggested with a low vibrating scowl. "That cloning device was a fine piece of work. Too bad he had to go and ruin it."

Scrapper patted Hook on the shoulder. "Well, in any case, there's no need to keep that thing around," he said, pointing to the shell in Scavenger's hands. "If it's junk to the Decepticons, it's junk to us, especially if it ain't gonna help us get this mess cleaned."

Mixmaster bridged his hands together. "But perhaps, if I may, set it aside and study it later? I'd truly lo-lo-love to know the origin of the preserving chem-chem-chemical that has kept it in its fine state."

Scrapper swished a hand at him. "One Decepticon's trash is a Constructicon's treasure, I suppose then," he replied, giving the affirmative. "Do whatever you want with it. Let's just get back to work before Megatron comes in here and boxes our audio sensors."

"Yeah, and when you're done with it, if there's anything left," Bonecrusher laughed, contorting into his bulldozer form, "let me have it. I need a new punching bag, haha!"

As the Decepticon sub-group went back to their tedious task of housekeeping, the sparkling "watched" as Mixmaster dragged the body aside for safe keeping. The Constructicon rubbed his hands together and gave a small evil scientist laugh before transforming into his cement truck mode and joining the others.

So the body was functional, and without a master to command it. The sparkling would wait until Mixmaster gave it a thorough physical, to confirm if the body was useable. It had patience, something one of its creators obviously lacked. But it also had the cunning, thirsting desire for the possible power it could create once in its new furnishings.

The sparkling's dim light blinked, in a gesture reminiscent to a soft chortle. One could easily bet it was a menacing one.

* * *

T/B/C

lol \9u6/

PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER:

SPARKLING: HURR BODY!  
MEGATRON/STARSCREAM: FUCK!  
DECEPTICONS: That's what got you into this mess!  
SPARKLING: JUST CALL ME BASTARD LOVE SPARKLING!  
SPARKPLUG: ARE YOU A HIPPIEBOT?  
CHAOS: -ENSUES-


	2. Axedent

Thank ye thank ye for your comments and faves. I hope you will enjoy the next chapter. It was a PAIN IN THE ASS. ;D

* * *

Chapter 2:

**Axedent**

* * *

The sparkling had discovered it inherited both its creators' tempers. It took a good deal of patience to wait for Mixmaster and the other Constructicons to leave the deformed cloned shell for his taking. The spark was forced to keep hidden in the shadows, impatiently bobbing back and forth into light and darkness, peeking every few seconds to see if those damn 'cons were finished with their work. It was torn between whining and raging, but it had to wait. Even if it meant spending the next hour trying not to bash itself into the wall with overwhelming anxiety.

It would have to thank Mixmaster later, however, who didn't take long during his research on the body. It had discovered the compounds that kept the shell intact, but the sparkling wasn't really listening. However, fear suddenly caused something inside of it, so to speak, spark when Mixmaster went about repairing a few loose screws and dents. Apparently the Constructicon had plans for the shell if he was fixing it up.

Alas, the mad scientist wouldn't get that chance - not if it displeased the spark.

The opportune moment to strike came a little over two Earth hours later. By this time, the sparkling really didn't know what liquid energon was like, but he had been craving it like mad from all this waiting and pacing. Mixmaster had just added the finishing touches to his project before, by the command of his group's leader, he left to go dispose of the garbage they had dumped outside.

As soon as the cement truck drove out of the room, it was time.

The sparkling flitted quickly to the ground, hovering above the body, now shining from a recent wax job. Oh, yes, it would definitely have to thank dear ole Mixmaster for all his effort. It wouldn't be in vain.

A small bolt of electricity struck from the orb of light, hitting the chest of the shell. The plate flew open, revealing an empty chest cavity within, an exact replica of two combined forces. The spark chamber was desolate, waiting seemingly for this moment.

Without a second thought, the spark made way for its new home.

* * *

III

* * *

This off day wouldn't be a quiet one.

This was made obvious by Starscream's loud fit this morning and drunken antics that afternoon. Then again, what free day did they ever have that didn't involve chaos? If the Autobots weren't spoiling their fun, one of their own was. They could look at it from a bright side: there was never a dull moment, at least. Still, what they wouldn't give for Megatron to suddenly go apeshit and rip out Starscream's vocalizer for at least one day. Or one week. One week wasn't asking too much, was it?

Soundwave had been unofficially assigned the task to haul the drunk, offline lieutenant to his room. He wasn't gentle about it; rather he grabbed the Decepticon by the ankles and dragged him down the hall, listening to him grunt or snort whenever he'd hit a bump or crevice in the ground. The tips of his wings would occasionally scratch along the walls, causing the Seeker to wince but nothing more.

Once he was in Starscream's quarters, Soundwave practically threw Starscream into his stasis pod. He would amp the power up enough on the machine to flush the toxic liquid from his systems. But, then that would only mean Starscream would awaken much earlier than desired, loud and pissy as usual. The expressionless Decepticon decided his superior needed a good, long sleep.

Just as he was about to leave, the single largest screen in Starscream's room flickered on with a snap, revealing Shockwave. "Oh, hello, Soundwave," the deep-voiced Decepticon said, "why are you in Starscream's quarters?"

"Starscream's current condition: over-charged and offline," Soundwave replied.

"Oh, ah, I see," Shockwave hummed. "Well, I tried to reconnect to the monitor in the bar, but its signal seems to be damaged," he explained. "Also, I couldn't get through to anyone else's private communicators, so I figured I would try Starscream, maybe ask him why no one is available." The purple Decepticon gave the side of his head a rub with his laser gun hand. "Is everyone out, busy collecting energon? If so, why are you here? What are you doing? Well, as for me, I'm not - "

"Feed interrupted," Soundwave interjected and pushed a random button on the screen's control panel.

"Wait," Shockwave gasped, the bulb in his face brightening, "I'm - "

The screen shut off with a soft blip. Shockwave would have felt bad if he knew exactly how to feel pity. Shockwave really needed to get out more, or at least make a friend. No wonder Megatron insisted either he or Starscream take Shockwave's calls for the next few days. Unless they started with a terrified "EMERGENCY!", what the Cybertron bound Decepticon had to say was of very little importance to the warlord right now. Nobody blamed him.

Soundwave was about to return to his own chamber, most likely to block all transmissions from Shockwave, when he stopped and turned. It was the radar... The radar equipped in Starscream's room detected and signified the whereabouts of every energy signal in the base. Each Decepticon was a dot on the screen, assigned a color to identify who was who. Soundwave was registered as blue, Megatron as red, and so on and so forth. This was the case for Soundwave's own personal radar. Any unregistered energy signals came off as white, usually translated as Autobots.

However, there was one... strange energy signature Soundwave had never seen before moving across the screen, in section 4 of the base. It was both red _and_ purple. Not only was the color scheme unknown and unidentifiable, but the fact it carried both the energy patterns of Megatron _and_ Starscream made absolutely no sense.

Soundwave quickly clicked on the unknown purple-red dot at the far corner of the screen. A small window popped open, identifying the source as, predictably, unknown. However, the system also noted the strange combination of its commander and second in command's energy.

Impossible. This had to be either a glitch or some Autobot spy. Soundwave gambled on the latter, since he had personally gone through all the systems and fixed any bugs just yesterday. Besides, their security levels were at medium level - if an Autobot had intruded, the alarms would have gone off. However, if they had somehow managed to harness the energies of Megatron and Starscream, they most likely would have snuck in past the alarms with ease.

That had to be it. Even when Megatron and Starscream were in the same room, even when they were... "combined", so to speak, they were still registered as two single entities pressed close together but not like this blip.

Whatever it was, it was moving and if Soundwave wanted to catch this intruder, he had to move too.

* * *

III

* * *

The closest equivalent to a dream a Transformer could have was accessing memory chips that could still function even as the rest of the body was in a state of suspended animation. The memory would play in full then repeat itself, over and over again until systems were rebooted and it was once more placed back in its file.

Starscream liked playing certain memories to dream of before he went offline. Most of these memories were of him getting the upper hand over Megatron, a collection of insults he had slung or punches he had thrown or moments he had basked in while his leader was on his knees. Of course he had to painstakingly edit out the rest of these memories that always concluded with him getting his ass handed to him or a nice beating. Starscream at least accepted the fact that he allowed himself these deluded pleasures even upon knowing the reality; it was better than denying he was deluded at all. (And he was quite deluded, in both his waking and sleeping life.)

Oh, well, a Decepticon could dream. Or something.

A new memory chip was about to play. There he was, towering over his leader sitting on his rear, having been knocked over from a blast of Optimus Prime's gun. "How pathetic!" the second-in-command would cackle. "One shot and you're down, hahaha!" The memory would then replay itself before it could get to the next moment when Megatron punched him in the groin and knocked him to the ground in a pile of whimpers and whines. To add insult to injury, Prowl shot him in the face a minute after.

However, that chip never played. A sudden feeling of being watched, something one accumulated quickly and easily after being in war so long, fell over him and Starscream reluctantly, slowly dimmed his optics to life. What hit him first was his sore, pulsating head circuitry - then Megatron's fist in his face.

"Eegh!" the Seeker exclaimed. The force of the blow had been enough to tip over his bed along with him inside. Starscream hit the floor first, quickly rolling aside before his heavy pod could land on top of him. Giving his slightly dented face a rub, he snapped his attention up and glared bitterly at Megatron's furious glower.

"If you want to hit something, hit yourself!" Starscream spat.

Megatron stomped down on his chest, right against one of his vents. Starscream fell over on his back again, flailing. "You told Shockwave I overloaded early, did you!" the great silver Decepticon snarled.

Starscream gulped. "Whatever do you mean?" he tittered. "Perhaps you're imagining things? I wouldn't be surprised, you being such an old geez-"

"That's rich coming from a disillusioned fool such as yourself!" Megatron hissed. He ground his heel against the side of his second's cockpit.

"I-I swear I didn't say anything!" Starscream yowled. He grabbed Megatron's foot and tried to pull it off, but still suffering from intoxication, his strength was too weak to manage such a feat. Not like Megatron was so easily overpowered by him anyway. "Shockwave was lying! Lying! He always lies when he wants attention!"

Primus, he was going to fuck up Shockwave's shit.

Megatron snorted. "Don't lump yourself up with him!" he snapped. He reached down and picked the wriggling, crying Seeker up with ease, holding him above his head. "I'm going to throw you into the wall until you make a hole that goes right through the other side!"

"I-I wouldn't do that! You can't do that! Y-You shouldn't do that!" Starscream yelped. Being shaken around was causing unprocessed energon in his system to slosh about. It was further adding onto the pain, but it was working its way out for an exit, the bitter fluid climbing up his throat. "If you're wise, y-you'll listen to me!"

"Rich!" Megatron cackled, both amused and infuriated. "So very rich!" To prove he wasn't bluffing, he threw the Decepticon down with a violent thrust.

Starscream hit the ground with a loud clang and grunt. The energon was at a very bad peek now... He had to get away, get to the repair bay where he could properly dispose of the leftover liquid. It was tingling at his vocal processor and it took him quite a lot of power to keep it from finding its way out. The Seeker started crawling away, grunting lowly in his throat.

"Look at you, just like a worm," Megatron jeered, hands on his hips. "But I'm afraid you're not getting away that easily!" With that, he reached down and picked Starscream up once more, hoisting him above his head.

"Ooooh," Starscream gagged, and as the fluids rose -

"Megatron."

Megatron turned around, throwing Starscream as he did so. The doors to the room opened and Soundwave was lucky enough to step aside just as the shrieking Seeker flew past him, out into the hall and collided with the wall on the other side. Soundwave watched him as he slumped slowly to the ground with a low groan.

Megatron dusted off his hands and smiled at the quiet blue Decepticon. "Yes, Soundwave, what is it?" he asked, feeling ten times more better.

"Lord Megatron. Attention: required," Soundwave replied. Starscream was gathering to his feet in loud, disoriented clangs behind him. "Message: unidentifiable captive being held in brig."

"A captive? Is it an Autobot?" Megatron inquired, his anger beginning to flare again. Yet, if it was an Autobot, he had someone new to rough up a bit. Starscream was just now shaking off his daze, watching the two with interest, fear, anger and pain.

Soundwave shook his head. "Negative," he retorted, "species unknown. Captive: similar structure and design as Cybertronian."

"Well, well, well," Megatron chuckled, "this could be interesting. Take me to our guest!"

At the prospect of discovering a strange, unidentifiable creature in their midst, Starscream's inner scientist peeped excitedly. "I will go with you, since I have been so rudely awoken from my recovery slumber," he stated, giving Megatron the stink eye. Megatron need only raise a fist before Starscream turned his gaze quickly away. "After all, I am a scientist, you know, and I most likely will have the answer to the origin of this - blaargh!"

Soundwave stepped back, once more thanking his lucky stars, as Starscream suddenly keeled over and let all the spare energon gush onto the ground. Megatron, however, was not so lucky. He seemed to be sharing the bad karma; just as he was taking a step forward, he walked right into the mess, slipping and falling over on his rear by Soundwave's feet.

"Starscreaaaam!" the warlord howled like a wild dog.

"You shouldn't have thrown me around, oh graceful one!" Starscream countered with a snide, sickening grin. But he did so while moving away fast. Very fast.

* * *

III

* * *

With Soundwave in the lead, Megatron and a limping, pained, hung-over and castrated Starscream behind, they made their way to the underground brig. Or to be more specific, the dungeons. Down here it was cold and dark, not a single light from the world above reaching down from within. The walls, the ceiling, the ground, all of it hollow Earth; the bars, however, were titanium. There was barely any electricity and only three holding cells; the dungeon had been constructed last and still needed some improving.

"Location: third cell," Soundwave stated, pointing down the small corridor.

Megatron took the lead now. Starscream followed, albeit at a safe distance, Soundwave taking up the rear. All together, they came to a halt in front of the third cell's bars. A weak light from above stretched weakly inside the cage, but kept most of it hidden in the darkness. There was a soft glint of silver from the far end, but whoever was inside was keeping close and safe to the shadows.

"Identify yourself, intruder!" Megatron snapped, his voice echoing through the brig.

It was quiet for a second, then came the rustling of metal as whoever, or whatever, was in there was moving around. More silver was slowly coming into the light. "I have no name yet," came the slow reply, its voice sounding like a cross between a growl and a whine. It wasn't very pleasant a noise, but having Starscream around for so long, fingernails running down a chalkboard sounded like music to them.

"I suggest you show your face unless you want it blown off," Megatron ordered, raising his arm and pointing his cannon's barrel between two bars.

There came a tiny chuckle then. "You might be surprised, you might not," the creature answered.

"Try me."

Thus, it did.

A second later, and crouching out of the darkness was a terror that none of the three Decepticons had ever seen the likes of before. It was the deformed clone spawned from the genetics of both Megatron and Starscream, moving now, speaking now, alive now. He approached the bars and wrapped his dark blue hands around them. "Surprise!" he laughed, grinning.

"Hideous!" Megatron and Starscream both spat. Soundwave looked at the two very slowly. Maybe they were just addressing the others features in this clone. If anything, it looked more like Starscream, perhaps due to his body actually having been in the machine.

"What twisted sort of joke is this, Soundwave!" Starscream demanded, turning to his comrade. He pointed fiercely at the grinning creature on the other side of the jail cell. "Is this your idea of a prank! Trying to get back at me for today! Are you still upset that I filled your cassette player with glue!"

"Negative," Soundwave replied calmly. "Prisoner was found accessing data from mainframe in sect - repeat what you last sa - "

Starscream cried. "Terrible!"

Megatron couldn't believe his optics. "This cannot be," he breathed. "Who would create such a blasphemous thing!"

"Your cloning machine did it," the captive answered, "at least, that's what the Constructicons said..."

"The Constructicons!" Starscream exclaimed, stomping a foot. "They have to be the ones behind this monstrosity! It makes sense!"

The captive shook his head. "They didn't make me," he corrected. He pointed from Starscream to Megatron. "You two made me." His grin spread wider across his faceplate.

Megatron and Starscream stared at him, dumbfounded. "W-What?" came the intelligent reply.

"I'm the sparkling you made," the captive stated. He tapped a finger on his deformed cockpit. "The one you thought you destroyed. But I'm alive and well, having found this body in your garbage. I collected all the information about both Cybertron, the war and Earth's history you compiled right before I was caught by Mister Boombox here." He jerked his thumb at Soundwave, who was still mulling over what Starscream had said earlier.

Megatron and Starscream were now appalled with disgust. "Impossible! I shot you! Blew you to pieces!" the Decepticon leader barked.

"This is extraordinary... ly horrible," Starscream grumbled softly. The scientist in him found this utterly fascinating, while the rest of him wanted to curl up in a ball and die. "A painful reminder of the mistake I made!"

Megatron glared back at his subordinate. "Care to elaborate on the details of this 'mistake'?"

Starscream rose his hands in defeat. "Oh, no, that's okay, but thank you for your consideration."

Megatron snorted again. "No matter. This... thing here is an abomination," he stated, turning back to the clone and sparkling. He rose his cannon again, the barrel face to face with the captive's. "I'll finish you off for good this time. Then I'm going to rip out your optics."

Starscream beamed. "Oooh, that sounds like fun, mighty Me-"

"Not his; yours, Starscream."

"... _Hmmm_."

The captive gasped and quickly recoiled, half of him burrowing back into the darkness. "D-Don't kill me, please!" he pleaded, falling to his knees. He threw up his hands, clutched together and shook them. "Please, spare my life!"

"I can clearly see traits of you, Starscream," Megatron smirked. Starscream bit into his bottom lip, making a low "ffff"-like noise. Nonetheless, Megatron lowered his weapon. "Tell me why I should spare your miserable life?"

The captive shook. "I..." Apparently, "I'm your kid!" wouldn't work on them. "I... I want to help you. I want to help you fight the Autobots, help you win over Cybertron." As he made to stand, Megatron cocked his cannon, forcing him to remain on his knees. "I w-want to join your ranks and become your soldier. I will help you fight!" He placed a hand to his chest, struggling to maintain a calm demeanor.

Megatron narrowed one optic. "Why should I trust the likes of someone bred from the pits of this Decepticon?" He was, of course, referring to Starscream. Starscream went to strangle him from behind but Soundwave quickly grabbed his hands, forcing them back down. "What proof is there that you won't turn on me the moment I let you free?"

"I..." The captive thought for a moment, tapping a finger to his chin and scanning the ground. He rose his red optics and offered meekly, "I'll... do... something...? Whatever you say?"

The warlord was not satisfied. But... "All right then," he chuckled, and the sparkling perked, "I'll release you and accept you as my subordinate... if you kill off your dimwitted creator."

"What!" Starscream gasped.

The captive clapped. "Okay!"

"No one will kill me!" Starscream frothed. He then shot his "son" in the face with his null ray, sending him flying back against the wall across the cell.

"Starscream, you idiot!" Megatron snapped, decking his second in command. Soundwave's luck ran out; before he knew it, Starscream collided with him and the two fell over like dominos. "What did I tell you about premature shooting!"

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about - oh, you mean in battl - but you told him to kill me!" Starscream whined, starting from embarrassed to shocked to annoyed.

"I wanted to see if he would agree or not!" Megatron hissed. Though he was only being half-truthful about that.

The captive groaned softly as he crawled back out into the light, rubbing his faceplate. "I... I said I'll do anything..." he muttered. "Just... let me live..." With that, he dropped his forehead hard into the ground in a low bow, a loud _thud_ resounding within the brig.

Megatron thoughtfully stroked his chin. Soundwave looked at him, awaiting his answer. Starscream was banging his head into a nearby wall.

Finally, the great silver Decepticon spoke. "I shall spare your life," he said with a quiet purr, and Starscream's jaw unhinged, "however, if you prove to be a nuisance, I will deactivate you in an astrosecond. Do I make myself clear?"

The clone lifted his head off the ground, happiness glimmering in his optics. "Yes, sir! You won't regret this, daddy-o!" he exclaimed.

"'Daddy-o'?" Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave echoed, their heads all taking a collective tilt.

"Yeah," the clone chuckled. "It's human slang for what they call their male parental unit. 'Father' is the common term." He pointed at Megatron. "My study in Earth history tells me that the one who births their creation is the 'mother'. Thus you're daddy-o and..." His finger traveled over to an aghast Starscream. "You're ma."

Nobody said a single thing for a whole minute. The clone was smiling, unaware of the damage he had inflicted. Megatron, Starscream and perhaps Soundwave, if it were possible, all had their faces contorted into disgusted and stunned gapes and squinted optics.

"This is why we can't have nice things!" Starscream shrieked, breaking the silence first. Megatron's audio sensor made a fizzled crack and he retaliated by punching his lieutenant in the side of his head.

Soundwave touched his shoulder cannon. "Lasers: set to kill," he hummed.

"Whaaaa!" the clone yipped, crawling back on his rear. "What'd I say!"

Megatron touched Soundwave's shoulder. "No, Soundwave," he ordered and his faithful soldier dropped his hand from his weapon. The Decepticon leader recoiled his own hand and squeezed it into a tight fist. "You overstep your boundaries, boy. We are not Earth germs, and thus, we will not be coined as such. I am your superior; you shall call me 'sir, master, lord' or, if I'm in one of my more rare good moods, 'mister'. Nothing more, nothing less. This is my first and final warning," he growled lowly.

"Y-Yes, sir," the clone swallowed, trembling.

"Now..." Megatron snorted, pointing to Starscream, who was struggling to fix his audio sensor, "you may address this idiot however you wish. I prefer 'fool, moron, disgrace, idiot, glitch-'"

"-Also befitting: afthole," Soundwave added, much to the Seeker's disgust.

Starscream interjected before Megatron could finish off his list: "You will address me as 'sir' or 'lieutenant'! If you dare call me any of these insults, I will rip you a new waste processor!" To look threatening, he stood his tallest, stretching out his wings as far as they could go. It was no accident that they hit Megatron and Soundwave in the process.

Megatron nearly ripped off one of the Seeker's wings when forcefully lowering it, causing the latter to mewl pitifully. "Enough!" he barked.

"I-I'll call you all 'sir'," the clone murmured, terrified. He rubbed his knees, looking meekly from the ground to his creators' faces. "So, um, uh, I was... I was just wondering if, um..." He twirled his finger in the dirt on the ground, shrugging carelessly. "... If, um, I could have a designation, please?"

"What?" Megatron grunted. "You couldn't think of one yourself?"

The clone smiled sheepishly. "Well, I had one name in mind..."

"And?"

"Supernova," the clone responded, instantly brightening. He stood and placed his hands on the bars. "I mean, what do you think? 'Super' for you, dad - sir, and the 'nova' could imply you, ma - lieutenant!" he explained, hopeful.

Another moment of silence. Once more Starscream was the one to break it first.

"That's stupid," he scowled, before spitting, "wait, why does Megatron get the 'super' part!"

"Your stupid half has a point," Megatron agreed, and Starscream didn't know whether he should be pleased or offended. He often got the two mixed up with his leader. "I shall give you a more befitting name of someone such as yourself," he insisted. The clone just hid an inner, disappointed sigh and nodded.

A few seconds of thinking and chin groping, Megatron finally came up with a name. "Dent," he stated.

"'Dent'?" The clone narrowed one optic.

Starscream giggled shrilly. "I get what you mean, oh creative one," he sniggered. "Why don't we just add Axe to it?"

"Axe dent... Axedent..." Megatron hummed thoughtfully. "It sounds silly and pathetic." He grinned widely at his captive. "It is your new name."

It was the clone's turn to make a horrified expression. "Axedent! Accident!" he whined. "B-But that doesn't sound cool at all! It doesn't sound tubular or rad or - !"

Megatron glared back at Soundwave. "What the Pit is he saying? I can't understand a slagging word."

"Human slang," Soundwave answered.

"What did I say about using human slang!" Megatron spat and shot his cannon at the clone's feet. The clone yelped and jumped back. "I gave you a command, an order! It would be wise that you obey me unless you want to spend the rest of your life decaying down here!" he threatened.

The clone made a sniffling noise and wilted. "All right. Axedent is my name," he muttered, resigned.

"Good! Then we're all at an agreement," Megatron chortled darkly. He nodded back at Soundwave. "Release the prisoner. He has a task to complete."

Starscream watched as Soundwave went about breaking the combination on the cell's digital lock. He turned back to Megatron and asked, with a suspicious tone in high pitched voice, "Just what sort of 'task' will you have him complete, oh mysterious one?"

"You may relax, Starscream, as your assassination is currently at the bottom of my list of concerns as of right now," Megatron assured, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Starscream just feigned gratitude; Hell, Megatron's death was at the top of his list every single day. How thoughtful of Megatron. The Decepticon leader watched as his "son" emerged from the dark cell, cowering beside Soundwave.

Axedent looked up at Megatron. "What is it you'll have me do?" he inquired wearily. "M-Mighty one."

Megatron smirked and evil, evil vibes were pouring off of him, more so than usual. "To prove your loyalty," he crooned, squeezing the new Decepticon's shoulder tightly, "you must show your Decepticon spirit."

* * *

III

* * *

Besides the groans of the wind shifting against the new base, and the whirring and humming of various computers and devices, it was relatively quiet at the Decepticon headquarters. This was a bit of a rarity, especially when everyone was currently resting inside. The halls were desolate, most of the rooms bare, computers left unattended and all projects set aside. One would assume that it was empty by its still, quiet atmosphere. However -

Like a bullet shattering glass, Axedent ran screaming down one long corridor, coated in fire suppression foam. A split second later, Ravage was on his tail, Rumble and Frenzy riding on his back and cackling. In the air soared Laserbeak, Skywarp and Thundercracker, laughing with equal merriment. The two Seekers were shooting their lasers after Axedent, who had, for the most part, managed to dodge or run from them before they could hit. Rumble and Frenzy each held on to a fire extinguisher, nozzle out and spraying the white foam after their new teammate.

Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave were watching the festivities from twenty different screens in the main control room, showing various angles and locations of the base. Starscream eyed his commander. "What sort of Decepticon initiation is this?" he demanded.

"If the boy can survive the end of the day without being blasted to particles, then I shall accept him as part of our crew," Megatron explained, keeping his optics on one screen above. Axedent just swept by before being knocked over by a shot in the back, falling clumsily onto the ground and rolling down the rest of the hall with loud clangs, leaving behind a trail of white fluff. "Besides," he added, "it amuses me."

Admittedly, the hazing was fun to watch. It was even more entertaining knowing that the alternative to winning was being killed. At this point in time, if he won, or if he "lost", either or was good enough.

Megatron quirked an evil little smile. "Do you remember your initiation, Starscream? What I made you do?" he purred.

Starscream was bright red under all that armor and robotic flesh. "DON'T YOU DARE BRING BACK BAD MEMORIES!" he shrieked, remembering exactly why he had such a strong vendetta against the color pink, lace and flashlights.

All twenty screens zapped to static before displaying twenty faces of Shockwave, all different in sizes and color saturation. "Mighty Megatron!" the purple 'con exclaimed, and if he could smile, he'd be smiling antenna-to-antenna.

"Shockwave!" the three Decepticons snarled. "Go away!"

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

A new member, cultural clashing, a battle and crank calling. And lots of pizza.

A/N: lol I wish Decepticon initiations involved pink, lace and flashlights.

Thank ye thank ye for your comments and faves. I hope you will enjoy the next chapter. It was a PAIN IN THE ASS. ;D

* * *

Chapter 2:

**Axedent**

* * *

The sparkling had discovered it inherited both its creators' tempers. It took a good deal of patience to wait for Mixmaster and the other Constructicons to leave the deformed cloned shell. The spark was forced to keep hidden away in the shadows, impatiently bobbing back and forth into light and darkness, peeking every few seconds to see if those damn 'bots were finished with their work. It was torn between whining and raging, but it had to wait. Even if it meant spending the next hour trying not to bash itself into the wall with overwhelming anxiety.

It would have to thank Mixmaster later, however, who didn't take long during his research of the body. It had discovered the compounds that kept the shell intact, but the sparkling wasn't really listening. However, fear suddenly caused something inside of it, so to speak, spark when Mixmaster went about repairing a few loose screws and dents. Apparently the Constructicon had plans for the shell if he was fixing it up.

Alas, the mad 'bot wouldn't get a chance-not unless the spark would allow him to.

The opportune moment to strike came a little over two Earth hours. By this time, the sparkling really didn't know what liquid energon was like, but he had been craving it like mad from all this waiting and pacing. Mixmaster had just added the finishing touches to his project before, on the command of his group's leader, he left to go dispose of the garbage they had dumped outside.

As soon as the cement truck drove out of the room, it was time.

The sparkling flitted quickly down to the ground, hovering above the body, now shining from a recent wax job. Oh, yes, it would definitely have to thank dear ole Mixmaster for all his effort. It wouldn't be in vain.

A small bolt of electricity struck from the orb of light, hitting the chest of the shell. The plate flew open, revealing an empty chest cavity within, an exact replica of two combined forces. The spark chamber was desolate, waiting seemingly for this moment.

Without a second thought, the spark made way for its new home.

* * *

This off day wouldn't be a quiet one.

This was made obvious by Starscream's loud fit this morning and drunken antics this afternoon. Then again, what free day did they ever have that didn't involve chaos? If the Autobots weren't spoiling their fun, one of themselves was. They could look at it from a bright side: there was never a dull moment, at least. Still, what they wouldn't give for Megatron to suddenly go apeshit and rip out Starscream's vocalizer for at least one day. Or one week. One week wasn't asking too much, was it?

Soundwave had been unofficially assigned the task to haul the drunk, offline lieutenant to his room. He wasn't gentle about it; rather he grabbed the Decepticon by the ankles and dragged him down the hall, listening to him grunt or snort whenever he'd hit a bump or crevice in the ground. The tips of his wings would occasionally scratch along the walls, causing the Seeker to wince but nothing more.

Once he was in Starscream's quarters, Soundwave practically threw Starscream into his stasis pod. He would amp it up enough that it would flush the toxic liquid from his systems, but then that would only mean Starscream would awaken much earlier than desired, loud and pissy as usual. The expressionless Decepticon decided his superior needed a good, long sleep.

Just as he was about to leave, the single largest screen in Starscream's room flickered on with a snap, revealing Shockwave. "Oh, hello, Soundwave," the soft spoken Decepticon said, "why are you in Starscream's quarters?"

"Starscream's current condition: over-charged and offline," Soundwave replied.

"Oh, ah, I see," Shockwave hummed. "Well, I tried to reconnect to the monitor in the bar room, but its signal seems to be damaged," he explained. "Also, I couldn't get through to anyone else's private communicators, so I figured I would try Starscream, maybe ask him why no one is available." The purple Transformer gave the side of his head a rub with his laser gun hand. "Is everyone out, busy collecting energon? If so, why are you here? What are you doing? Well, for me, I'm not-"

"Feed interrupted," Soundwave interjected and pushed a random button on the screen's control panel.

"Wait," Shockwave gasped, the bulb in his face brightening, "I'm-"

The screen shut off with a soft blip. Shockwave would have felt bad if he knew exactly how to feel pity. Shockwave really needed to get out more, or at least make a friend. No wonder Megatron insisted either he or Starscream take Shockwave's calls for the next few days. Unless they started with a terrified "EMERGENCY!", what the Cybertron bound Decepticon had to say was of very little importance to the warlord right now. Nobody blamed him.

Soundwave was about to return to his own chamber, most likely to block all transmissions from Shockwave, when he stopped and turned around. It was the radar... The radar equipped in Starscream's room detected and signified the whereabouts of every energy signal in the base. Each Decepticon was a dot on the screen, assigned a color to show who was who. Soundwave was registered as blue, Megatron as red, and so on and so forth. This was the case for Soundwave's own personal radar. Any unregistered energy signals came off as white, usually translated as Autobots.

However, there was one... strange energy signal Soundwave had never seen before moving across the screen, in section 4 of the base. It was both red _and_ purple. Not only was the color scheme unknown and unidentifiable, but the fact it carried both the energy patterns of Megatron _and_ Starscream made absolutely no sense.

Soundwave quickly clicked on the unknown purple-red dot at the far corner of the screen. A small window popped open, identifying the source as, predictably, unknown. However, the system also noted the strange combination of its commander and second in command's energy.

Impossible. This had to be either a glitch or some Autobot spy. Soundwave gambled on the latter, since he had personally gone through all the systems and fixed any bugs just yesterday. Besides, their security levels were at a medium high level-if an Autobot had intruded, the alarms would have gone off. But, if they had somehow managed to harness the energies of Megatron and Starscream, they most likely would have snuck in past the alarms with ease.

That had to be it. Even when Megatron and Starscream were in the same room, even when they were... "combined," so to speak, they were still registered as two single entities pressed close together but not mingled as such.

Whatever it was, it was moving and if Soundwave wanted to catch this intruder, he had to move too.

* * *

The closest equivalent thing to a dream a Transformer could have was accessing memory chips that could still function even as the rest of the body was in a state of suspended animation. The memory would play in full then repeat itself, over and over again until systems were rebooted and it was once more placed back in its file.

Starscream liked playing certain memories to dream of before he went offline. Most of these memories were of him getting the upper hand with Megatron, a collection of insults he had slung or punches he had thrown or moments he had basked in while his leader was on his knees. Of course he had to painstakingly edit out the rest of these memories that always concluded with him getting his aft handed to him or a nice beating. Starscream at least accepted the fact that he allowed himself these deluded pleasures even upon knowing the reality; it was better than denying he was deluded at all. (And he was quite, in both his waking and sleeping life.)

Oh, well, a Decepticon can dream. Or something.

A new memory chip was about to play. There he was, towering over his leader sitting on his ass, having been knocked over from a blast of Optimus Prime's gun. "How pathetic!" the second-in-command would cackle. "One shot and you're down, hahaha!" The memory would then replay itself before it could get to the next moment when Megatron punched him in the groin and knocked him to the ground in a pile of whimpers and whines. To add insult to injury, one of Prowl's shots would become acquainted with his face shortly after.

But that chip never did get to be played. A sudden feeling of being watched, something one accumulates quickly and easily after being in war so long, fell over him and Starscream reluctantly, slowly dimmed his optics to life. What hit him first was his sore, pulsating head circuitry-then Megatron's fist in his face.

"Eegh!" the Seeker exclaimed. The force of the blow had been enough to tip over his bed along with him inside. Starscream hit the floor first, quickly rolling aside before his heavy pod could land on top of him. Giving his slightly dented face a rub, he snapped his attention up and glared bitterly at Megatron's furious glower.

"If you want to hit something, hit yourself!" Starscream spat.

Megatron stomped his foot against his chest, right against one of his vents. Starscream fell over on his back again, flailing. "You told Shockwave I overload early, did you!" the great silver Decepticon snarled.

Starscream gulped. "Whatever do you mean?" he tittered. "Perhaps you're imagining things? I wouldn't be surprised, you being such an old geez-"

"That's rich coming from a disillusioned fool such as yourself!" Megatron hissed. He ground his heel against the side of his second's cockpit.

"I-I swear I didn't say that!" Starscream yowled. He grabbed Megatron's foot and tried to pull it off, but still suffering from intoxication, his strength was too weak to manage such a feat. Not like Megatron was so easily overpowered by him anyway. "Shockwave was lying! Lying! He always lies when he wants attention!"

Primus, he was going to fuck up Shockwave's shit.

Megatron snorted. "Don't lump yourself up with him!" he snapped. He reached down and picked the wriggling, crying Seeker up with ease, holding him above his head. "I'm going to throw you into the wall until you make a hole that goes right through the other side!"

"I-I wouldn't do that! You can't do that! Y-You shouldn't do that!" Starscream yelped. Being shaken around was causing unprocessed energon in his system to slosh about. It was further adding onto the pain, but it was working its way out for an exit, the bitter fluid climbing up his throat. "If you're wise, y-you'll listen to me!"

"Rich!" Megatron cackled, both amused and infuriated. "So very rich!" To prove he wasn't bluffing, he threw the Decepticon down with a violent thrust.

Starscream hit the ground with a loud clang and grunt. The energon was at a very bad peek now... He had to get away, get to the repair bay where he could properly dispose of the leftover liquid. It was tingling at his vocal processor and it took him quite a lot of power to keep it from finding its way out. The Seeker started crawling away, grunting lowly in his throat.

"Look at you, just like a worm," Megatron sniggered, hands on his hips. "But I'm afraid you're not getting away that easily!" With that, he reached down and picked Starscream up once more, hoisting him above his head.

"Ooooh," Starscream made a gagging noise, and as the fluids rose-

"Megatron."

Megatron turned around, throwing Starscream as he did so. The doors to the room opened and Soundwave was lucky enough to step aside just as the shrieking Seeker flew past him, out into the hall and collided with the wall on the other side. Soundwave watched him as he slumped slowly to the ground with a soft moan.

Megatron dusted off his hands and smiled at the quiet blue Decepticon. "Yes, Soundwave, what is it?" he asked, feeling ten times more better.

"Your attention is required," Soundwave replied. Starscream was gathering to his feet in loud, disoriented clangs behind him. "Message: unidentifiable captive being held in brig."

"A captive? Is it an Autobot?" Megatron inquired, his anger beginning to flare again. Yet, if it was an Autobot, he had someone new to rough up a bit. Starscream was just now shaking off his daze, watching the two with interest, fear, anger and pain.

Soundwave shook his head. "Negative," he retorted, "species unknown. Captive appears to have similar structure and design as a Transformer."

"Well, well, well," Megatron chuckled, "this could be interesting. Take me to this captive!"

At the prospect of a strange, unidentifiable Transformer-esque prisoner, Starscream's inner scientist peeped excitedly. "I will go with you, since I have been so rudely awoken from my recovery slumber," he stated, giving Megatron the stink eye. Megatron need only raise a fist before Starscream turned his gaze quickly away. "After all, I am a scientist, you know, and I most likely will have the answer to the origin of this-blaargh!"

Soundwave stepped back, once more thanking his lucky stars, as Starscream suddenly keeled over and let all the spare energon gush onto the ground. Megatron, however, was not so lucky. He seemed to be sharing the bad karma; just as he was taking a step forward, he walked right into the mess, slipping and falling over on his aft by Soundwave's feet.

"Starscreaaaam!" the warlord howled like a wild dog.

"You shouldn't have thrown me around, oh graceful one!" Starscream countered with a snide, sickening grin. But he did so while moving away fast. Very fast.

* * *

With Soundwave in the lead, Megatron and a limping, pained, hung-over and castrated Starscream made there way to the underground brig. Or to be more specific, the dungeons. Down here it was cold and dark, not a single light from the world above reaching down from within. The walls, the ceiling, the ground, all of it hollow Earth; the bars, however, were titanium. There was barely any electricity and only three holding cells; the dungeon had been constructed last and still needed some improving.

"Location: third cell," Soundwave stated, pointing down the small corridor.

Megatron took the lead now. Starscream followed, albeit at a safe distance, Soundwave taking up the rear. All together, they came to a halt in front of the third cell's bars. A dim light from above stretched weakly inside the cage, but kept most of it hidden in the darkness. There was a soft glint of silver from the far end, but whoever was inside was keeping close and safe to the shadows.

"Identify yourself, intruder!" Megatron snapped, his voice echoing through the dungeon.

It was quiet for a second, then came the rustling of metal as whoever, or whatever, was in there was moving around. More silver was slowly coming into the light. "I have no name yet," came the slow reply, its voice sounding like a cross between a growl and a whine. It wasn't very pleasant a noise, but having Starscream around for so long, fingernails running down a chalkboard sounded like music to them.

"I suggest you show your face unless you want it blown off," Megatron ordered, raising his arm and pointing his cannon's barrel between two bars.

There came a tiny chuckle then. "You might be surprised, you might not," the creature answered.

"Try me."

Thus, it did.

A second later, and crouching out of the darkness was a terror that none of the three Decepticons had ever seen the likes of before. It was the deformed clone spawned from the genetics of both Megatron and Starscream, moving now, speaking now, alive now. He approached the bars and wrapped his dark blue hands around them. "Surprise!" he laughed, grinning.

"Hideous!" Megatron and Starscream both spat. Soundwave looked at the two very slowly. Maybe they were just addressing the others features in this clone. If anything, it looked more like Starscream, perhaps due to his body actually having been in the machine.

"What twisted sort of joke is this, Soundwave!" Starscream demanded, turning to his comrade. He pointed fiercely at the grinning creature on the other side of the jail cell. "Is this your idea of a prank! Trying to get back at me for today! Are you still upset that I filled your cassette player with glue!"

"Negative," Soundwave replied calmly. "Prisoner was found accessing data from mainframe in sector-wait, repeat what you last sa-"

Starscream cried. "Terrible!"

Megatron couldn't believe his optics. "This cannot be," he insisted. "Who would create such a blasphemous thing!"

"Your cloning machine did it," the captive answered, "at least, that's what the Constructicons said..."

"The Constructicons!" Starscream exclaimed, stomping a foot. "They have to be the ones behind this monstrosity! It makes sense!"

The captive shook his head. "They didn't make me," he corrected. He pointed from Starscream to Megatron. "You two made me." His grin spread wider across his faceplate.

Megatron and Starscream stared at him, dumbfounded. "W-What?" came the intelligent reply.

"I'm the sparkling you made," the captive stated. He tapped a finger on his deformed cockpit. "The one you thought you destroyed. But I'm alive and well, having found this body in your garbage. I collected all the information about both Cybertron, the war and the Earth history you compiled right before I was caught by Mister Boombox here." He jerked his thumb at Soundwave, who was still mulling over what Starscream had said earlier.

Megatron and Starscream were now appalled with disgust. "Impossible! I shot you! Blew you to pieces!" the leader barked.

"This is extraordinary... ly horrible," Starscream mumbled softly. The scientist in him found this utterly fascinating, while the rest of him wanted to curl up in a ball and die. "A painful reminder of the mistake I made!"

Megatron glared back at his subordinate. "Care to elaborate on the details of this 'mistake'?" he inquired and if he had eyebrows, they'd be furrowed right now.

Starscream rose his hands in defeat. "Oh, no, that's okay, but thank you for your consideration."

Megatron snorted again. "No matter. This... thing here is an abomination," he stated, turning back to the clone and sparkling. He rose his cannon again, the barrel face to face with the captive's. "I'll finish you off for good this time. Then I'm going to rip out your optics."

Starscream beamed. "Oooh, that sounds like fun, mighty Me-"

"Not his; yours, Starscream."

"... _Hmmm_."

The captive gasped and quickly recoiled, half of him burrowing back into the darkness. "D-Don't kill me, please!" he pleaded, falling to his knees. He rose his hands, clutched together and shook them. "Please, spare my life!"

"I can clearly see him inside you, Starscream," Megatron smirked. Starscream bit into his bottom lip component, making a low "ffff"-like noise. Nonetheless, Megatron lowered his weapon. "Tell me why I should spare your miserable life?"

The captive shook. "I..." Apparently, "I'm your kid!" wouldn't work on him. "I... I want to help you. I want to help you fight the Autobots, help you win over Cybertron." As he made to stand, Megatron cocked his cannon, forcing him to remain on his knees. "I w-want to join your ranks and become your soldier. I will help you fight!" He placed a hand to his chest, struggling to maintain a calm demeanor.

Megatron narrowed one optic. "Why should I trust the likes of someone bred from the pits of this Decepticon?" He was, of course, referring to Starscream. Starscream rose a hand for his throat behind him but Soundwave quickly grabbed it, forcing it back down. "What proof is there that you won't turn your back on me the moment I let you free?"

"I..." The captive thought for a moment, tapping a finger to his chin and scanning the ground. He rose his red optics and offered meekly, "I'll... do... something...? Whatever you say?"

The warlord was not satisfied. But... "All right then," he chuckled, and the Transformer perked, "I'll release you and accept you as my subordinate... if you kill off your dimwitted creator."

"What!" Starscream gasped.

The captive clapped. "Okay!"

"No one will kill me!" Starscream frothed. He then shot his "son" in the face with his null ray, sending him flying back against the wall across the cell.

"Starscream, you idiot!" Megatron snapped, decking his second in command. Soundwave's luck ran out; before he knew it, Starscream collided with him and the two fell over like dominos. "What did I tell you about premature shooting!"

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about th-oh, you mean in battl-but you told him to kill me!" Starscream whined, starting from embarrassed to shocked to annoyed.

"I wanted to see if he would agree or not!" Megatron hissed. Though he was only being half-truthful about that.

The captive groaned softly as he crawled back out into the light, rubbing his faceplate. "I... I said I'll do anything..." he muttered. "Just... let me live..." With that, he dropped his forehead hard into the ground in a low bow, a loud 'thud' resounding within the brig.

Megatron thoughtfully stroked his chin. Soundwave looked at him, awaiting his answer. Starscream was banging his head into the nearby wall.

Finally, the great silver Decepticon spoke. "I shall allow you to live," he said with a quiet purr, and Starscream's jaw unhinged, "however, if you prove to be a nuisance, I will deactivate you in an astrosecond. Do I make myself clear?"

The clone rose his head off the ground, happiness glimmering in his optics. "Yes, sir! You won't regret this, daddy-o!" he exclaimed.

"'Daddy-o'?" Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave echoed, their heads all taking a collective tilt.

"Yeah," the clone chuckled. "It's human slang for what they call their male parental unit. 'Father' is the common term." He pointed at Megatron. "My study in Earth history tells me that the one who births their creation is the 'mother.' Thus you're daddy-o and..." His finger traveled over to an aghast Starscream. "You're ma."

Nobody said a single thing for a whole klik. The clone was smiling, unaware of the damage he had inflicted. Megatron, Starscream and perhaps Soundwave, if it were possible, all had their faces contorted into disgusted and stunned gapes and squinted optics.

"This is why we can't have nice things!" Starscream shrieked, breaking the silence first. Megatron's audio sensor made a fizzled crack and he retaliated by punching his lieutenant in the side of his head.

Soundwave touched his shoulder cannon. "Lasers: set to kill," he hummed.

"Whaaaa!" the clone yipped, crawling back on his aft. "What'd I say!"

Megatron touched Soundwave's shoulder. "No, Soundwave," he ordered and his faithful soldier dropped his hand from his weapon. The Decepticon leader recoiled his own hand and squeezed it into a tight fist. "You overstep your boundaries, boy. We are not Earth germs, and thus, we will not be coined as such. I am your superior; you shall call me 'sir, master, lord' or, if I'm in a rare good mood, 'mister.' Nothing more, nothing less. This is my first and final warning," he growled lowly.

"Y-Yes, sir," the clone swallowed, trembling.

"Now..." Megatron snorted, pointing to Starscream, who was struggling to fix his audio sensor, "you may address this idiot however you wish. I prefer 'fool, moron, disgrace, idiot, glitch-'"

"-Also befitting: afthole," Soundwave added, much to the Seeker's disgust.

Starscream interjected before Megatron could finish off his list, "You will address me as 'sir' or 'lieutenant'! If you dare call me any of these insults, I will rip you a new waste processor!" To look threatening, he stood his tallest, stretching out his wings as far as they go. It was no accident that they hit Megatron and Soundwave in the process.

Megatron nearly ripped off one of the Seeker's wings when forcefully lowering it, causing the latter to mewl pitifully. "Enough!" he barked.

"I-I'll call you all 'sir,'" the clone murmured, terrified. He rubbed his knees, looking meekly from the ground to his creator's faces. "So, um, uh, I was... I was just wondering if, um..." He twirled his finger in the dirt on the ground, shrugging carelessly. "... If, um, I could have a name, please?"

"What?" Megatron grunted. "You couldn't think of one yourself?"

The clone smiled sheepishly. "Well, I had one name in mind..."

"And?"

"Supernova," the clone responded, instantly brightening. He stood and placed his hands on the bars. "I mean, what do you think? 'Super' for you, da-sir, and the 'nova' could imply you, ma-lieutenant!" he explained, hopeful.

Another moment of silence. Once more Starscream was the one to break it first.

"That's stupid," he scowled, before spitting, "wait, why does Megatron get the 'super' part!"

"Your stupid half has a point," Megatron agreed, and Starscream didn't know whether he should be pleased or offended. He often got the two mixed up when in Megatron's presence. "I shall give you a more befitting name of someone such as yourself," he insisted. The clone just hid an inner, disappointed sigh and nodded.

A few astroseconds of thinking and chin groping, Megatron finally came up with a name. "Dent," he stated.

"'Dent'?" The clone narrowed one optic.

Starscream giggled shrilly. "I get what you mean, oh creative one," he sniggered. "Why don't we just add Axe to it?"

"Axe dent... Axedent..." Megatron hummed thoughtfully. "It sounds silly and pathetic." He grinned widely at his captive. "It is your new name."

It was the clone's turn to make a horrified expression. "Axedent! Accident!" he whined. "B-But that doesn't sound cool! It doesn't sound tubular or rad at-!"

Megatron glared back at Soundwave. "What the Pit is he saying? I can't understand a slagging word."

"Human slang," Soundwave answered.

"What did I say about using human slang!" Megatron spat and shot his cannon at the clone's feet. The clone yelped and jumped back. "I gave you a command, an order! It would be wise that you obey me unless you want to spend the rest of your life decaying down here!" he threatened.

The Transformer made a sniffling noise but wilted. "All right. Axedent is my name," he muttered, resigned.

"Good! Then we're all at an agreement," Megatron chortled darkly. He nodded back at Soundwave. "Release the prisoner. He has a task to be completed."

Starscream watched as Soundwave went about breaking the combination on the prison cell's digital lock. He turned back to Megatron and asked, with a suspicious tone to his high pitched voice, "Just what sort of 'task' will you have him complete, oh mysterious one?"

"You may relax, Starscream, as your assassination is currently at the bottom of my list of concerns as of right now," Megatron assured, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Starscream just feigned gratitude; Hell, Megatron's death was at the top of his list every single day. The Decepticon leader watched as his "son" emerged from the dark cell, cowering beside Soundwave.

Axedent looked up at Megatron. "What is it you'll have me do?" he inquired wearily.

Megatron smirked and evil, evil vibes were bouncing off of him, more so than usual. "To prove your loyalty," he crooned, squeezing the new Decepticon's shoulder tightly, "you must show your Decepticon spirit."

* * *

Besides the groans of the wind shifting against the new base, and the whirring and humming of various computers and programs, it was relatively quiet at the Decepticon headquarters. This was a bit of a rarity, especially when everyone was currently resting inside. But the halls were empty, most of the rooms bare, computers left unattended and all projects set aside. One would assume that it was empty by its still, quiet atmosphere; however-

Like a bullet shattering glass, Axedent ran screaming down one long corridor, coated in fire suppression foam. A split second later, Ravage was on his tail, Rumble and Frenzy riding on her back and cackling. In the air soared Laserbeak, Skywarp and Thundercracker, laughing with equal merriment. The two Seekers were shooting their lasers after Axedent, who had, for the most part, managed to dodge or run from them before they hit. Rumble and Frenzy each held on to a fire extinguisher, nuzzle out and occasionally gushing the white foam after their new teammate.

Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave were watching the festivities from twenty different screens in the main control room, showing various angles and locations of the base. Starscream eyed his commander. "What sort of Decepticon initiation is this?" he demanded.

"If the boy can survive the end of the day without being blasted to particles, then I shall accept him as part of our crew," Megatron explained, keeping his optics on one screen above. Axedent just swept by before being knocked over by a shot in the back, falling clumsily onto the ground and rolling down the rest of the hall with loud clangs, leaving behind a trail of white fluff. "Besides," he added, "it amuses me."

Admittedly, the hazing was fun to watch. It was even more entertaining knowing that the alternative to winning was being killed. At this point in time, if he won, or if he "lost," either or was good.

Megatron quirked an evil little smile. "Do you remember your initiation, Starscream? What I made you do?" he purred.

Starscream was bright red under all that armor and robotic flesh. "DON'T YOU DARE BRING BACK BAD MEMORIES!" he shrieked, remembering exactly why he had such a strong vendetta against the color pink, lace and flashlights.

All twenty screens zapped to static before displaying twenty faces of Shockwave, all different in sizes and tinting. "Mighty Megatron!" the purple 'bot exclaimed, and if he could smile, he'd be smiling ear to ear-if he had ears, that is.

"Shockwave!" the three Decepticons snarled. "Go away!"

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

A new member, cultural clashing, a battle and crank calling. And lots of pizza.

A/N: lol I wish Decepticon initiations involved pink, lace and flashlights.


	3. Pranks

Is this me somehow updating with a new chapter earlier than usual! OH LAAAAAAWD! I think this chapter is semi-long. Forgive me... unless you like long chapters, then... send me e-chocolate. Prease. - Also,** there's a bit o' sexuality in here**, buuuut I don't think it warrants an 'M' rating-just yet.

* * *

Chapter 3:

**Pranks**

* * *

It was nearly 11:34 AM when the Decepticon base was active with life again. Last night's hazing and initiation activities had really tired everyone out, leaving them spending most of the night in peaceful recharge.

Axedent had managed to survive the ordeal, just barely. Everyone got a shot at him. Frenzy had been the one to coat him with the fire suppressing matter - it actually managed to seep into his circuitry and leave him suffering double vision for a good hour. Laserbeak had swept Rumble off the ground by his shoulders and dropped him on top of Axedent's head where he proceeded to pound it until it damn near caved in. The battered, drenched newbie managed to yank him off and throw him at the wall. It was funny enough for Skywarp and Thundercracker to stop, point and laugh.

However, they too got some shots in as well. Thundercracker's null ray left a nasty crispy black spot of pain on Axedent's rear and just as he thought he had managed to escape, Skywarp did his thing and teleported behind him, pushing him over a railing into a fumble three stories down. Laughter and much pointing commenced.

Though, after a night in repair bay, all of Axedent's wounds and injuries had healed. However, the internal scarring would probably take much longer to patch up. This was evident by the persistent glitchy twitch in his right optic, especially whenever he passed Rumble. Because he had survived, however, he was gifted with the insignia of the Decepticon army, placed right over his frail little cockpit. This seemed to make him feel all better - but the twitch never left.

Well, there was no use complaining. He had succeeded and that was all that mattered.

Now it was time to really show his leaders and compatriots what he could do.

* * *

III

* * *

When the elevator doors opened, Starscream greeted his highly esteemed leader with a groggy: "Still alive, I see."

Megatron smirked, more amused than annoyed. This was a common greeting between the two. In respective reply, he said: "And you're still not the Decepticon leader."

Starscream then stepped into the elevator, his face twisted with annoyance and the drifting remains of recharge. The elevator was relatively small, however, so leader and lieutenant were forced close together. This didn't stop the Seeker from damn near smooshing himself as far away from Megatron as possible in the wall, nearly bending a wing backwards.

"Do you always awake from recharge like a pouting child?" Megatron inquired, punching the upturned arrow button on the control panel.

Starscream snorted as the doors slid shut. "Well, if you hadn't thrown such an _idiotic_ and _loud_ initiation party last night, I wouldn't be so disgruntled, dear considerate leader," he answered.

Megatron smiled snidely. "I knew, given your over-charged state, you would appreciate the noise and activity," he said sweetly.

"Your immaturity astounds me! It truly astounds me!" Starscream yipped. He slapped a hand to his chestplate. "When I am leader of the Decepticons, this behavior will be unwarranted! It will be outlawed! Illegal!"

"Yes, you keep believing in that nonsense, Starscream," Megatron replied.

"You'll be a shining example of what Decepticons should _never_ be!" Starscream insisted. "Furthermore, I will record last night's events to use when properly training my army on becoming _serious_ soldiers on what _not_ to be!"

Megatron's smile began to twitch. "You're pushing buttons, now..."

Starscream, however, had complety blocked out his voice. All he could hear was himself - which was, actually, nothing entirely new. "Parties as such will be intolerable! Your name will go down in shame! The entire wall of shame will be painted with your name! You and your petty ideas of fun!" he warbled onward.

Megatron's fingers now began to twitch. "Starscream..."

"Initiations should prove one's strength and abilities in a proper, less _stupid_ way!"

"Starscream."

"It's insulting, it's revolting, it's - !"

"Starscream!" Megatron bellowed; his hand wrapped around Starscream's throat in half a second. Starscream made a gagging noise and tugged futilely at the hand strangling him. "You dare talk as if you're above me! You, who claims to be a wise and intelligent scientist, couldn't light up a test tube without setting yourself aflame!" he snarled and shook his second back and forth. The latter made noises similar to _gleh gleh gleh_. "The idea of you ever becoming Decepticon leader is both preposterous and ridiculous! Why, I'd give you twenty astroseconds before you're torn down from your pathetic little pedestal!"

Megatron's shaking increased until Starscream's head bashed to and fro against the wall in rhythmic thuds. The elevator dinged as it reached another floor, echoing with the noise. "Get it through your thick processors that you will _never_ rule the Decepticons! You will never be more than an expendable henchman!"

"Urrgaah!" Starscream argued his point.

Megatron took that as a plea to stop. "Now," he growled, "in order to redeem yourself, you know what you have to say."

Starscream protested: "Hnnngh!"

"Say," one head bash, "it," another head bash, "say," a third head bash, "it!" a fourth head bash. "Who's your leader! Who's your leader!"

By this time, Starscream's wires were short circuiting out of control, causing dizziness. "You'rehh..." he swallowed and the silver Decepticon slowly loosened his grip on his throat. "... my... leadhur."

Megatron smiled. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he purred.

Starscream said "yes," but it came out as a "yerr".

The Decepticon leader's hand moved slightly from the Air Commander's throat. Starscream cleared his vocalizer and rubbed his taut neck wires. "Did anyone ever tell you," Megatron mused, "you're quite attractive when I'm throttling you?"

"... No," Starscream grumbled. He knew where this was going. He sunk further against the wall.

"Yes," Megatron snickered in response. He reached out and hit the red 'stop' button. The elevator, just about to reach the final floor, came to a groaning halt.

_Slag it_, Starscream internally moaned. "Don't you think it's a bit early for that?"

Megatron practically pushed his entire weight against Starscream, the glass of his cockpit making a scratchy noise as it ground against Megatron's own chestplate. "What did you say?" he inquired with a suave little smile. He rose his leg, his knee brushing against the sensitive plating and circuitry beneath between Starscream's legs.

Starscream wilted a little. "You... heard me..." he grumbled.

"What?" the elder Decepticon taunted. His black digits ran along the length of Starscream's left wing, smooth and slow, until they tweaked the very top, upturned tip. Damn those sensitive wing avionics.

Starscream slumped. "Yooo_ooh_..." he gasped, twitching as his optics dimmed. _Slag slag slag slag slag..._

"You're not acting like you don't want it," Megatron gibed.

"I don't want it..." Starscream swallowed.

Fingers continued to caress his wing in tantalizingly slow strokes.

"I don't want..."

Knee continued to grind against the delicate plating.

"I..."

A set of fingers found themselves stroking the insides of his right chest turbine.

"... Okay I want it," Starscream grumbled, before practically diving at his leader. His processors were overheating, cooling system working overtime. Heat was swelling up inside his turbines. Every circuit was alive and willing and Lusty Desire McInterface mode was activated.

"Your lack of control is so very amusing," Megatron mocked.

Starscream scowled. "You want this or not?" He swept his hands over the front of him. "Because if you keep talking like that, you'll get _none_ of it."

"Who said I needed permission?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And..."

"And?"

"... Touche," Starscream growled. It made no sense but whatever. It was time for elevator sex. Nothing was more important than hot, bitter, angry elevator sex.

"A typical nonsensical response as usual - now move over to the left."

"No, you move to the right."

"I can't move any further."

"Well, nor can I!"

"Idiot, then back up!"

"I'm practically _squashed_ against the wall! Try stretching out - "

"-if I want to have my head shoved against the ceiling, I will. But seeing as I don't - try taking a step forward - "

"How about if I do this instead? Better?"

"Back, back! Now I'm crammed against the wall, you moron!"

"I can't move my _wiiiings_! They're stuck!"

"Stop whining! Here, try this - "

"-No. Your cannon is pressed right against my faceplate."

"... I don't see a problem with that."

"_Aagggh_, this is why _I_ should be Decepticon leader!"

Suddenly, the small screen in the elevator turned on with a crackle. "Mighty Megatron!" Shockwave shouted on the other end. "I have ne - _oh_."

"Shockwave!" Megatron hissed. "As usual, your timing is poor!"

Shockwave's optic brightened as if blushing. "W-Well, don't mind me at all, sir. Y-You can continue if you so desire. I can wait..."

Starscream's jaw gaped. "You perverted son of a glitch!" he barked, wiggling his arm out from between Megatron and the wall. He shot the screen once, causing it to explode and the control pad to spark.

"You _fool_!"

The doors to the elevator suddenly opened and out piled the two Decepticons, hitting the ground with two loud, clumsy clangs. Starscream was sprawled out on Megatron's back, the latter's face planted in the cold hard ground. The Seeker slowly rose his head and looked up. They were in the control room, Axedent watching them from the main computer screen with a bewildered expression.

That's when Starscream realized Megatron's position. "Haha! My strength outweighs even the mighty Megatron!" he declared, raising his arms in victory. "I am now your esteemed le-"

"Silence, you bumbling brat!" Megatron spat, hurling an elbow back. It caught Starscream under the chin; rather hard enough to knock him off and back into the elevator. In an attempt to catch his balance, he made an abrupt twist, just in time to acquaint his face with the elevator's far wall and slowly peel down along it.

Megatron slowly climbed to hands and knees, growling lowly. "I'm not even in the mood to continue what we were doing," he seethed. Turning around, he yelled at his second, "Once again, you kill my libido, Starscream!" He raised his fusion cannon, aiming it at Starscream's chest.

Starscream turned over and sat on his bottom. "I-I apologize, my liege," he swallowed.

Axedent approached his furious parents. A little voice told him he should stay steer clear, but... "What were you two doing?" he inquired.

In mid-fire, Megatron accidentally reacted on instincts and turned, shooting Axedent in the face instead. The young Decepticon flew backwards and along the ground, skipping like a stone on water. That little voice came back and promptly called him an idiot.

"Our business is none of your concern," Megatron snapped.

Starscream drew to his feet, moving up to Megatron's side. "It's not exactly great either way."

Megatron turned his furious gaze on the Seeker. "What are you implying, Starscream!"

"I-I-Nothing!" Starscream rose his hands in surrender. "I-I didn't mean it like that! Honestly!"

"Are you questioning my abilities!" Megatron spat, taking a step towards his lieutenant.

"No, no, not at all!" Starscream yelped, hands flailing.

Megatron decided to let it drop there. He sized the terrified Seeker up before turning around. Starscream proceeded to give a thumb's down behind his back. However, just as he dropped his hand to his side, Megatron turned again and shot him, once more sending the winged Decepticon reeling backwards.

Soundwave reached the control room in the somewhat damaged elevator, the doors opening to reveal Starscream's approaching back and flailing limbs. The silent Decepticon pushed a single blue button, forcing the doors to stay open so the Air Commander could fall back inside and against the wall. Once the coast was clear, Soundwave stepped outside.

Starscream sat up, rubbing the top of his head. "Was that for giving you the thumbs down!" he cried.

"No. That was for earlier when you tried 'overthrowing me'," Megatron corrected. He lifted his cannon again. "But thank you for that bit of information." And he shot Starscream again, this time in the foot.

Starscream yowled and rolled over on his side, curling into the fetal position. "Ohoho, Unicron slagging Primus..." he whimpered, rocking back and forth a little.

Axedent, feeling a bit more braver (and less dizzy from the blow), walked up to the two. "I'm glad you finally showed up, gracious, wonderful and mighty Meg-"

"Shut it, Axedent, nobody likes a suck up," Megatron snapped, in a completely irritable mood.

Axedent wanted to ask him why he chose to interface with Starscream if this were so, but then he remembered some Earth phrase that fit the relationship. "I love you, but I don't have to like you." Except it was more so, "I lust after you, but I hate your innards." That was very fitting, he believed.

"W-Well, either way," Axedent cleared his throat against his fist and beamed, "I wanted to show you something!" Megatron turned and watched as his offspring ran to the computer's control panel. "I unleashed my first attack on the Autobots!"

"What!" Megatron barked. "Without my permission!"

"Don't worry!" Axedent assured weakly. "It's not like I went out there and fought them one on one or anything..."

Megatron grumbled lowly in his throat. "Then what _exactly_ did you do?"

Axedent's grin turned pure evil. "Well, see for yourself..." he crooned, turning a dial on the keyboard. The large screen faded into static, glitched a few times before revealing the front of the Autobot base. "I've timed it perfectly. They should be arriving..." He watched anxiously as a small green and red car with a sign propped on its top pulled up to the Ark. "... Now! He's there!"

Curious, Megatron walked over to his side, watching the scene play out before him. A small human in a black outfit and hat climbed out of the car, carrying in his hands four large, flat boxes. "Is this fleshling under your control? Possibly an agent of yours?" the silver Decepticon demanded.

"He's a delivery human," Axedent answered. "And no, I don't control him. Nor does he even know who I am."

"'Delivery'?" Megatron's hand went to his chin. "What is he delivering to the Autobots? Bombs?"

"Watch and see!"

The delivery man approached the base cautiously before Bumblebee and his human friend, Spike, stepped outside to greet him. They exchanged a few words with the man in black, who found himself staring dumbfounded at Bumblebee the entire time. "What are they discussing?" Megatron asked suspiciously. "Raise the volume so I may hear!"

Soundwave complied and turned up the sound, just as Spike finished saying, "... order anything, though."

"But this is the address," the delivery man stated. He took out a sheet of paper from his back pocket and handed it to Spike.

Spike took it, Bumblebee peering down at it from over his shoulder. "Well, this is pretty much the address," the young human in yellow boots muttered. He scratched the back of his head. "But I think maybe you got it wrong somehow..."

"I've been doin' this job for three years now, son," the delivery man huffed, "I've explored this entire city and then some. Been to places you've never dreamed of, places of darkness and lowlifes. Seen some shit in my journeys, kid. I think I know how to do my job."

"Sorry, sir, but he's not implying you've done a bad job or anything," Bumblebee intervened. "It's just that, we didn't order any of those things." He pointed to the boxes in the delivery man's right hand.

The delivery man shook his head. "Look. We got a call a little over a half an hour ago sayin' you and yours need fifty pizzas pronto at this _exact_ joint and if we were late, you were gonna sue. Usually we don't mind bein' late and all, but honestly, buddy, we don't need to be sued by no robot alien things."

"But," Spike retorted, "we didn't _order_ fifty pizz-!"

"If not you or the yellow dude, then someone else did!" the man interjected. "Go inside and fetch someone else. I didn't drive out here with fifty pizzas in my trunk 'cause someone wanted to pull a bogus prank. I need money, you know - unlike you robot-thingers, we humans need money to survive. Buy food, pay rent... sometimes buy women..."

Spike and Bumblebee exchanged baffled glances.

"Ahahahaha!" Axedent cackled, throwing back his head. Megatron and Soundwave looked down at him, lost.

Starscream waddled up to the three. "What the Pit is so hilarious?"

"My plan! It worked!" Axedent declared. He pointed to the screen and grinned back at his superiors. "I hacked into a human transmission to what is known as a 'pizza parlor'. Under the guise of the Autobots, I had them deliver fifty pizzas to their base." Giggles were bubbling to his lip components. "But they didn't order them... And those pizzas aren't cheap and..." Finally, he exploded in loud, bellyful laughter. "... And I so got them! I got them _so hard_, awright!"

Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave stared.

Just. Stared.

Slowly, the wheels were turning, the machines were buzzing back to life. Realization was setting in, soaking up like a sponge, and mouths were frowning and optics were narrowing and fists were coiling.

"Laserbeak," Soundwave hummed, pressing a button on his chest. Chestplates opened instantly. "Eject."

Laserbeak morphed from cassette to bird, releasing a high pitched cry as he tore into the air. "Creeee!" he hissed before making a sudden u-turn, flying downward and into Axedent's faceplate. Axedent shrieked and fell over as the squawking bird violently pecked and clawed at his head.

"G-Get this crazy thing offa me!" Axedent pleaded, flailing. It didn't seem to work; the bird was over-powering him while he was on his back. He resorted to crossing his arms over his face instead and hoping for the best.

"Laserbeak," Megatron snapped, "cease your attack!"

Laserbeak obediently flew off the young 'con, perching himself on Soundwave's shoulder. Axedent sighed with relief and sat up, smiling at his creator looming over him. "Thanks, sir-o," he said, happily, "I thought he was gonna peck out my opt-"

Megatron's foot in his face shut him up.

"You..." the Decepticon leader grumbled. "You... pathetic, vile piece of _trash_!" He withdrew his foot, causing Axedent to quickly crawl away. "You thank your lucky stars that the Autobots didn't connect your idiotic prank back to us!"

Suddenly, Prime appeared on the screen, eyeing the pizzas. "Yes, I understand now," he said stoutly. "This must be a Decepticon joke."

"Most likely Megatron's," Jazz laughed, "poor fella's probably still hurtin' from our last little tango at the solar plant."

Sunstreaker sniggered. "Yeah. I mean, I'd be pretty ticked if someone shot me in the chestplate three times. Primus knows I'd go homicidal!"

"Trust us, Sunstreaker," Sideswipe said lowly, "... we know you would."

Starscream giggled behind one hand. "They think this silly joke is yours idea, oh humorous one."

Optimus shook his head. "No, Megatron wouldn't stoop to this low. I mean, he's as proud as he is evil," he disagreed.

"Then ah betcha it was Starscream," Ironhide suggested. "That 'con's screws were always ah bit fraihd."

Ratchet chortled. "He does have the mentality of an infant sparkling."

"That's it," Starscream said darkly, pushing Soundwave aside and marching up to Axedent, pointing both null rays at him. "Do you have any last words you don't all right then prepare to d-"

"No you don't, Starscream!" Megatron snarled, shoving his lieutenant to the ground.

Axedent relaxed a little.

Megatron hoisted his cannon at his son. "I'll be the one taking this pleasure."

"Wa-wa-wait! Ch-chill, you guys!" Axedent gasped, jumping to his feet and stepping away. "A-Allow me to redeem myself! I-I was just testing the waters, y-y'know! I didn't mean to bring any shame!"

"So 'testing the waters' means tarnishing the Decepticon name!" Megatron howled.

Axedent squealed and bowed a little. "I-I didn't mean to, honestly! R-Really! I-I thought it'd be funny!"

"Funny!" Starscream yipped. He pointed to his faceplate, mouth round with horror and one optic narrowed. "Do we look like funny Decepticons to you! Do we look amused at _all_!"

"N-No, sir!" Axedent answered, shaking his head.

"Termination," Soundwave hummed, "imminent." Laserbeak echoed with a loud caw, flapping his metal wings.

Axedent cried and flailed his hands in surrender. "Y-You gotta give me a second chance! I was ju-just doing what I thought would be funny and-and embarrassing for-for the Autobots! I-I'm new to this game! I-I got a lot to learn!" he wailed.

Starscream's arms shook, itching to send the young Decepticon into oblivion. "But no longer do you have the time to learn it!" he screeched. Just as he was about to pop a laser ray in Axedent's ass, Megatron slapped him upside the face, knocking him onto the ground once more. "Primus, will you stop _doing_ that!" he seethed, on his feet half a second later.

"Though he has made a grave mistake," Megatron said, walking up to Axedent until his shadow consumed him. Axedent bit into his bottom lip, shut his optics off and folded his arms above his head, awaiting the final and fatal blow. However, it didn't come; rather, the tension loosened in his body when Megatron finished: "I am willing to overlook this mistake due to the fact he is still in training."

Starscream balled his fists. "You're too merciful, Megatron!" he spat. "You should show neither your enemies or those who would harm or humiliate you any sort of mercy!"

Soundwave slowly turned his head and looked at Starscream in utter, but unseen, disbelief.

Megatron decided to ignore Starscream's comment. It was too stupid for him to waste energy arguing over. "Axedent, I will forgive your weak attempt to what you wrongly believed was an 'attack' on the Autobots," he stated sternly, "but should you have anymore related or dim-witted schemes, I will rip out your core processor with my own bare hands. Do I make myself clear?"

"C-Crystal, sir," Axedent murmured, dropping his forehead to the ground in a low bow.

Megatron nodded, satisfied. "Then all is said and done and you _shut your mouth, Starscream_, I said it's _over_!"

Starscream reluctantly shut his mouth.

"Now," the silver Decepticon grumbled, turning to the computer's control panel. He typed in a small code, the screen fading from the Autobots to a picture of a small power plant. "This is a power plant located in what is known as Salt Lake City, Utah. It is notorious for supplying 20 percent of the city with all its electricity." He turned back and faced his three subordinates. "This is our next target for energon."

"When do we leave?" Starscream asked. Usually he would bitch at Megatron for choosing such a low-energon location, but he was dying to release his anger and ammo on something or someone.

"You and your wingmates will leave in two breems," Megatron responded. Starscream nodded, excited for action, but then... Oh then that bastardcon just had to smear his face in the dirt. "You will be taking him with you," said bastardcon ordered, pointing to Axedent.

Axedent gaped, surprised. "Oh, Pit no!" Starscream blanched. "I am not taking that failure with me! He'll make a laughing stock out of me if those slagging Autobots decide to show up!"

"Making a laughing stock out of you is pointless since you all ready are one, Starscream," Megatron growled. "I have chosen this simple location not only for the energon, but also as first hand training for Axedent. As your creator, you're to help teach and train him."

Starscream pointed accusingly at his leader. "_You're_ his creator, too!"

"Yes, but, whose programming did he inherit when he thought that childish prank of his would be magnificent and in any way successful?" Megatron inquired.

"Yo-"

"You, exactly," Megatron interrupted. "Ready Skywarp and Thundercracker! You are to leave immediately with the coordinates I will supply!"

"This will be an entire waste of time and energy, Megatron," Starscream pouted, but left to do as he was told.

Megatron looked to Axedent, still awing over the fact he was actually assigned a mission. And not dead. "I could hardly care if you disobey Starscream, but you are under _my_ orders and you _will not_ pull any of those petty stunts and pranks on the field." He shoved his finger against Axedent's shoulder. "Do you understand?"

Axedent wibbled. "I-I understand..."

* * *

III

* * *

Against the early afternoon sun, his wings were majestic. The rays of light ran smoothly over their surfaces, brightening the azure blue, the rivets of white. The Decepticon insignias seemed to remain dark, even with light cast upon them, a constant reminder of the dangers those who wore it carried.

Everyone on this mudball planet feared the Decepticons and, to a lesser extent, the Autobots. It was not just because they were evil, robbing the world of its vital energy, but because they were alien, unknown things the human brain could not possibly comprehend with simple Earth logic. And humans tended to fear what they could not understand nor categorize.

Thundercracker, for the most part, knew this. Knew that he didn't need to actually threaten to kill or destroy someone. The mere sight of him sent shivers down people's spines. He was like a god, a god meant to be feared and, he wished, worshipped. It was actually nice that his presence was nightmare-ish enough. He never was one to enjoy killing as much as the other Decepticons.

This human sun was warm and bright on his face, and he stood, proud and regal before it, as if to challenge it with his own radiance. Stature so tall, proud; chest out, face stern, shoulders raised. Yes, he was like a beautiful, graceful and predatory bird. A creature of awe and terror. An animal of magic and science. A robot of great-

"Gotcha!"

"Slag!" Thundercracker yelped when Skywarp suddenly landed on his head, knocking him to the ground. The purple Seeker cackled as he hopped off his companion, stepping aside to laugh and point with bullyish delight. Thundercracker growled lowly as he stood, looking nothing like the agile, glorious bird-creature-robot-thing he was before. "You son of a glitch!" he snarled.

"I didn't even needta teleport to sneak up on ya," Skywarp sniggered. "Preening like that - you were just askin' for it, 'Cracker."

Thundercracker coiled a fist. "Your mouth is asking for a pounding, 'Warp."

Just before the two could get into a scuffle, Starscream appeared, Axedent following him from a safe distance behind. "Knock it off, you knuckleheads!" he ordered. Thundercracker withdrew his fist and Skywarp stopped in mid-teleportion, half his body invisible. They both stood side by side, assuming the role of loyal soldiers - for now. Axedent reluctantly staggered up beside them to join the ranks, despite the massive fear he felt from the Seekers and their crooked smiles.

Starscream turned his nose up to them. "Because Megatron is a moron, he has assigned us the task of retrieving energon from some puny power plant. Because the amount of energon will, no doubt, be limited and miniscule, we are to collect every bit of it, right down to the last drop." His glare moved between the blue and purple Seekers. "If either of you try pulling any stunts, I'll assign you each to six orns of janitorial duties alongside the Constructicons!" he threatened.

"Eh, quit with the empty threats, will ya?" Thundercracker snorted. "Apparently this mission isn't of utmost importance. We should just take it slow, y'know? Beside," he narrowed one optic, "you ain't Megatron, so we're not afraid."

Starscream's cheeks puffed out. "I'll put the fear of Unicron in you if I have to!" he shrieked. He grabbed Thundercracker by a wing and yanked him forward, until they were face to face. "I'm your commander, remember! I deserve respect! More respect than you would give that pompous bucket of junk!"

Little did he know, as he was talking and optic to optic with Thundercracker, Skywarp teleported behind him, proceeding to give his superior rabbit ears, the tongue and what humans referred to as "the finger". Thundercracker just smiled even as Starscream warbled in his face, but Axedent, so young and so unwise, couldn't help but release a tiny giggle at Skywarp's antics.

Immediately, Starscream jerked his head to the side, one second after Skywarp returned beside Thundercracker. "What are you laughing about, you comedicon?" he hissed, marching up to his creation. Axedent's smile turned upside down and he lowered his head, unable to make optic contact. "You thinking of pulling another stupid stunt like you did with those Autobots? Going to try and distract the humans at the plant by sending them fifty pizza-things!" he lectured.

"What'd he do?" Skywarp asked, looking to Thundercracker.

"Sent the Autobots all this human food that costs a lot of Earth money," the blue Seeker answered. "The Autoboobs ended up blaming Starscream for the prank."

Skywarp's grin spread clear across his faceplate. "That's hilarious!" he laughed. He turned to the smaller Decepticon and exclaimed, "Good job, newbie!"

Axedent instantly beamed. "Thank y-"

"Don't praise this little glitch!" Starscream howled, furious. Shaking his head, he stepped up forward again. "You know what we must do, and how we must act. I insist you be on your best behavior. Unlike what _you_" - he gave Thundercracker the stink eye - "may think, I _am_ capable of cutting anyone down to scrap. Got it?"

"Yes, commander," Thundercracker sighed, Skywarp smirked and Axedent mumbled.

"All right! Seekers!" the Air Commander exclaimed, his wings hitching. He pointed to the blue skies above. "Transform!"

In the blink of an eye, the three Decepticons were now in their multi-colored F-15 Eagle forms. Starscream took off first, Thundercracker and Skywarp following side by side behind him.

They were silent as they cruised through the sky, cutting through the wispy clouds, releasing streaks of heat and snarls from their roaring engines. Besides a couple playful nudges between one another, 'Cracker and 'Warp were behaving relatively well.

However.

"Uhh..." Skywarp swung aside a little. "I think we're missin' someone."

"What are you rambling about?" Starscream grunted.

"Your precious little baby boy," Thundercracker gibed, "he's not here."

"What!" Starscream screeched, instantly doing a loop and turning around. The purple and blue Seekers cackled as they followed him back to the base.

Upon returning, they discovered their missing companion. Axedent had transformed into something rather strange thanks to his mixed genetics. He had the structure of a jet like Starscream, but his wings were two times smaller than average and his cone had rehashed itself into a type of black gun barrel, kudos to Megatron.

Starscream stopped to hover above the deformed Eagle. "What are you doing!" he snapped. "I told you to move out, you idiot!"

"I-I-I!" The little jet rocked side to side. "I don't think I can fly!"

"What!"

"Haha! A jet that can't fly!" Thundercracker derided. "Quite a keeper ya got there, Screamer!"

Starscream's engines flared sparks of fire at the blue jet. "Silence, Thundercracker!" he ordered. His attention went back to the little Decepticon. "You have engines and wings! Use them!"

Axedent moaned softly before making a sound reminiscent to a deep inhale. Slowly, he rolled forward, accelerating his speed faster and faster as he moved. What would be for a perfect take-off only ended in a crash landing. The moment he was off the ground, lifting just about three feet in the air, his barrel nose came crashing back into the ground with a loud, painful _clang_.

"I give 'em 5 points, for effort," Skywarp mocked, 'Cracker making shrill chatter.

"Let me - let me try again!" Axedent insisted, going back in reverse. Revving his engines with a loud howl, he shot forward, faster and faster and faster and once the proper speed picked up, he darted off the ground in a smooth line, up two feet, up four feet, up ten, up- His turbines made small fizzing noises before his wings gave out their support. Only ten seconds in the air, he crashed back to the earth with a high pitched squeal.

Skywarp and Thundercracker were practically rolling in circles with laughter. "We got a special case on our hands!" the blue Eagle snorted.

Axedent groaned as he composed himself. "I can do it! I can do it!" he insisted. Desperate, he began flapping his tiny wings, much like a bird. This only made the blue and purple jets cackle harder. "I can do it, I swear!"

Skywarp gave a loud _HAR_. "Keep tellin' yourself that, little engine!"

"This is embarrassing even _me_," Starscream scowled, transforming. He walked up to Axedent, who seemed to wilt a little. "Your wings seem to be no more than mere decorations, and your engines - useless! If you can't fly, you can't go! I don't need the excess baggage!"

Axedent warped back into his robotic form. "B-But, dad- Mighty Megatron said I had to go! To train!" he whined. His optics were full of hope and fear. "I want to go! I need to go! I have to prove myself as a Decepticon soldier! I need to redeem myself from my mistake earlier!"

"Shut it, nobody likes a whiner!" Starscream hissed. Thundercracker and Skywarp were trying their best not to die with amusement from that comment alone. He grabbed the little Decepticon by the wing and threw him aside. "Go back inside and cry to Megatron! You're no longer a part of this mission!"

Axedent lifted himself off the ground, wings drooping. "B-But I-!"

Before he could finish, or before Starscream could interrupt him, Skywarp landed on the ground between them, transforming. "Listen here, Screamer. The kid needs to get out, get some experience if he's gonna fight with us," he explained. Starscream gave him an "are you out of your slagging core processor!" glare. The purple Seeker smiled nonetheless, proudly pressing a hand to his cockpit. "In fact, _I'll_ carry him to the location. I'll even help him learn to fly."

Axedent's optics lit up. "R-Really!"

"Sure, squirt," Skywarp sniggered and a big, notorious grin spread across his faceplate. Thundercracker had to pretend he didn't know that smile meant only bad things. Starscream honestly didn't care, stamping his foot and checking his chronometer. Skywarp bent down a little and patted the little Decepticon's shoulder. "I'm like, your uncle or somethin'. It's kinda obligatory for me to help ya out, you know?"

"Don't refer to yourself as such," Starscream gagged.

Axedent was exhilarated. "Thanks, Uncle Skywarp!" He looked over to Starscream, his entire face a-glow. "Is it okay is it okay is it okay!"

Starscream released a loud, irate sigh, running his hands down his faceplate. "_Whatever_! Let's just get _going_!" he thrashed, transforming. He took off without another word.

"All right, kid, put the peddle to the metal!" Skywarp exclaimed, going into jet mode. Axedent was nearly hopping up and down with joy. Skywarp extended a spare pair of leg-like hardpoints beneath him and ordered, "Now transform and I'll carry you like this, all right?"

"Bodacious!" Axedent squeaked. As soon as he transformed, Skywarp's hardpoints hooked along his sides, pressing against them hard to keep a stern hold. "I'm so ready!" The little Seeker-mutt flapped his wings.

Skywarp chuckled darkly. "Hold on, kid," he said as he took flight with Thundercracker, "it's gonna be a bumpy ride..."

* * *

III

* * *

Being of a stealthy breed, the Decepticons slipped under any known human radars. With no Autobots opening fire, it appeared they had not been detected by Teletraan-1. The three Decepticon Eagles flew high above the clouds, little Axedent still clamped between Skywarp's "legs" with Starscream in lead. The deformed jet had been cheering and squawking and laughing the entire fifteen minutes they were in the air. He was much like a human child exploring a candy store.

Thundercracker's engine roared once briefly, then twice. It seemed to be a signal, for Skywarp released a very sadistic chuckle, unheard by the howl of the wind and Axedent's cheerful laughter.

"Hey, kid," Skywarp said out of the blue.

Axedent instantly went quiet, but there was merriment in his voice. "Yeah, Uncle 'Warp?"

"Remember how I said I'd help you learn to fly?"

"Yeah!"

Skywarp was smirking. "Well, the best way to start is to face the situation head on. Take the leap, y'know?" he purred. "But in your case, kid..." The hardpoints holding Axedent began to loosen around him. "... You really _are_ gonna take the leap!"

With that, Skywarp retracted his "legs", leaving Axedent without support. Axedent screamed in terror, frivolously flapping his wings as he made his descent to the Earth miles below.

"Hahahaha!" Thundercracker cackled in loud booming strokes. "You better flap faster, boy!"

"Find your inner peace, kid!" Skywarp taunted as Axedent disappeared beneath the clouds. "Remember: it's all in the engines, it's all in the engines! Moooove with the wind, become oooone with the flow!"

Starscream slowed his own engines to meet up with his compatriots. "What is going on!" he hissed as Skywarp dove nose first below. "We don't have time for fun and games!"

"'Warp dropped 'Dent," Thundercracker chortled, "he's 'teachin' him how to 'fly.'"

Starscream was silent.

"Well, that is pretty funny."

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

Energy collecting, first battle, comrade wounding comrade and Shockwave drunk and angsting.


	4. Brass Bearings

This chapter was originally going to contain two other parts, but it turned out too long. IMHO, that is. So no drunk and angsty Shockwave in this part. But, anyway, again, **a bit more sexuality**. Mostly groping and naughty talk, but no actual sexing, haha. I think the rating will go up as an M the next chapter. In the meantime, enjoy while I go and heat up my Mexican food.

* * *

Chapter 4:

**Brass Bearings**

* * *

Axedent wasn't quite sure what had happened after the initial drop. On his way down, the Earth coming closer and closer with each second, his mind was riddled with panic. Try as he might, his engines, deformed and perhaps nothing more but decoration as Starscream had put it, would not ignite. Even flapping his wings was futile, though he knew that all along. Still, Axedent had to try everything.

Eventually, his system started to shut down, one by one, as if going on auto pilot for destruction. The locking chip was activating. Soon he'd be offline and perhaps this was his body's way of guaranteeing a painless death, as he'd be knocked out cold when impact was made. That in itself was a terrifying idea, and he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to battle off the approaching shut down or let it take him out and just hope to Primus his spark would go to a happier, cruelty free paradise.

However, just before his optics would turn themselves off for impending doom, his body took a sudden lurch upward and, in a matter of three seconds, the Earth below was once again retracting from his sight, clouds quilting it from his view. As if his circuitry and locking chip knew, for now, he was in no real catastrophic danger, systems went back online and auto pilot was switched off.

It wasn't until Axedent landed outside the power plant nearby Salt Lake City when he realized just how exactly he was still alive. Whatever was holding him let him go again and once more he fell thrashing to the Earth - however only ten feet below this time. The exaggerated and dramatic panic he made caused the others to laugh.

Skywarp was by his side a moment later, bipedal mode. "I thought you'd at least get some leverage in," he chuckled, pulling the little Decepticon up out of the gravel. "I mean, I guess your wings and auto gyros really _are_ shot."

"Meh... eh... hnn..." Axedent couldn't summon an intelligent reply. He was still dazed and shocked by all he had been put through in the last ten or so minutes. That twitching glitch returned to his left optic again. "G'gezzz soo..."

Starscream, with Thundercracker behind, walked past the two, snapping, "All right, you've had your laughs, now it's time to get to work." He grumbled as he brushed off his wings. "I want to go back to base and take a long, boiling, scolding hot energon bath."

"Up to, kid," Skywarp smirked and thwacked Axedent forward.

Axedent squeaked as he fell forward (oh, not again), but transformed just in time to catch his balance on his feet. He gave the purple Seeker something of a pathetic scowl but did nothing more. He didn't want to cause more trouble, and plus he was fairly certain Skywarp could kick his ass into next week.

Their footfalls were heavy and loud as they approached the main entrance of the plant. "Game faces on, idiots, we're Decepticons. We have to look like real threats and not a bunch of jesters," the Air Commander ordered, referring to the doofy grins on Thundercracker and Skywarp's faces. They managed to wipe them off, however. "Now," Starscream sniffed, "let's do business with these Earth creatures."

Starscream lifted his foot, shoving his turbine-heel into the wall. With a little flame from the engine, and the force of the hit, most of the wall collapsed inward with a loud thud and cloud of debris. There came startled noises from within and Thundercracker peeled away some bits of the remainder of the wall like one would a curtain so they could all fit inside.

Down below was a crowd of three dozen men and women, all in white lab coats or construction outfits. They all gaped in awe and terror at the four giant robot monsters. Starscream poked his head inside, pushing up more of the ceiling to get in.

"Anyone who wants to die," he exclaimed, raising his armed limb, "scream."

It wasn't like anyone was thinking coherently at the time, so of course most everyone did scream. Though one girl was clever enough to clamp hands over her mouth and hope to God these Decepticons would spare her her life. Hey, they tended to be merciful in the past.

However, with Megatron out of the picture, luck wasn't entirely on their side. Starscream was far more open to demolishing life than Megatron was. Then there was Skywarp, who thought nearly dropping a comrade to his death was a mere joke - what he could do to humans, little tiny creatures, was a horror to imagine.

"Well, we're obliged to give you what we offered," Starscream chuckled and fired his null ray at a throng of people. Most of them managed to disperse, but one or two weren't so lucky. Starscream headed inside, making his way to the main computer. Skywarp, Thundercracker and Axedent covered him, shooting at the humans. Well, Skywarp was doing most of the actual shooting; Thundercracker hesitated often and Axedent was just a poor shot.

One technician was heroically trying to alert authorities. However, before he could finish his shrieking call, Starscream was cowering over him. "Join the rest of your herd, you germ," he growled, picking the man up by the back of his lab coat. He then carelessly tossed him over his shoulder.

Axedent watched as Skywarp and Thundercracker used one elderly scientist to play catch. Starscream was currently fiddling with the computer and most of the humans had managed to escape. Not sure if he should be doing anything, Axedent went to ask if his service could be - "Oh, shit!" the young Decepticon shrieked, pin pricks of pain hitting the back of his head. He turned and saw one human firing a gun at him, screaming something along the lines of, "Die, asshole, die!"

"Knock it off! My head's pounding enough as it is," Axedent snarled, his optic giving another twitch. He bent forward and flicked the human clear across the building. The only problem was the human crashed against Starscream's head, causing his superior to release a surprised and angry howl.

"Who did that!" Starscream snarled, standing. He picked the dazed and crippled man from off the ground. He shook the poor creature at Skywarp and Thundercracker, the obvious suspects. "Did one of you sonnuvaglitches throw this garbage at me!"

Thundercracker and Skywarp raised their hands up innocently, the human they were throwing falling to the ground with a loud _oomph_. Thundercracker then tilted his head to the side, in Axedent's direction. Starscream glowered at his creation; he wouldn't suspect the young Decepticon to do such a dangerous thing, but Axedent was horrible when it came to hiding his guilt.

"Trying to make your comrades laugh by taunting your superior!" Starscream snapped, marching up to Axedent.

Axedent bowed his head. "It was an accident, sir," he muttered. "I'm real sorry."

"Sorry!" Starscream would wrinkle his nose if it were possible. "Well... Sorry," he said, thwapping Axedent upside the head with the human. "Doesn't cut it!" he finished, slapping the other side of his head with the human again. He then dropped the battered human, pretty much on the verge of death. Starscream pushed Axedent over to the other Seekers. "I've programmed the generators to full power and velocity. Ready the energon cubes!" he growled.

Axedent rubbed his faceplate, sulking privately as Skywarp and Thundercracker sniggered at his expense. Nonetheless, he followed them back into the warehouse, into the room with all the powerful and roaring generators. "I'm gonna assume since you can't even fly," Thundercracker taunted, "y'can't make energon cubes, either."

The small Decepticon said nothing and let the two laugh as they made him the large, transparent cubes to fill, tossing them at him. He watched his elders fill up the cubes first, to know exactly what he had to do - and not fuck up. When he got the general idea, he approached one generator and began to fill it, just as Starscream returned to his wingmates' sides.

"This won't take long," Starscream grunted. He took produced an energon cube and placed it to one of the generator's turbines. A flood of purple energy poured itself into the cube. "We'll most likely only get ten cubes max. So pathetic. Might as well cripple the vein dry."

Axedent waited for the others to produce the energon cubes for him; they made sure to rub this fact in his faceplate before handing him two. He just had to grin and bear it; eventually they would accept him, would consider him a real comrade in arms. After all, new pledges seemed to get the brunt of most of the abuse until they proved themselves capable warriors. Axedent just had to find the right time and place for this opportunity to show them.

Axedent was also oblivious to the fact Decepticons never had any real friends. At least, none you could trust entirely. Though perhaps this was just his creator's opinions echoing in his databanks. Surely Skywarp and Thundercracker were best friends, even if they tended to beat the living shit out of one another. Oh, well, this was all besides the point.

"Get your head out of the clouds," Starscream grunted as he shoved past his creation, moving to fill his quota. Axedent nodded quickly and went to work, placing his cube to an engine. The purple liquid pathetically dripped into his cube and more snickers were to be had, since everyone else was getting a steady flow. Adult Cybertronians and their silly Freudiantron jokes.

Ten minutes later and the flow of energon decreased greatly, evenly matching the rate of Axedent's flow. No more chuckles now. Eventually, standing there and waiting for their cubes to fill bored Skywarp, who could barely stand in one place for too long. Call it robot ADD.

"So!" the purple Seeker exclaimed out of nowhere, putting the cube down on the ground. The dripping energon hit it square in the middle. "This bein' the result," he continued, nodding to Axedent then looking up to his commander, "I take it sparkbonding with the Big Boss is pretty darn good?"

Starscream nearly tossed his half-full energon cube at Skywarp's head. "Shut up!" he caterwauled.

Thundercracker added lightheartedly: "Or bad, seeing the damage of the result..."

Axedent squeezed his energon cube tightly. Primus, he was getting sick and tired of their taunts. But, he had to play it cool. If he flipped out on them, no one would ever take him seriously. Not to mention, as young as he was, he was wise to know Skywarp and Thundercracker could take him out with ease. Still, that nagging, "Do it! Kick them where Cybertron don't shine! Do it!" was rattling at the back of his cranial chamber. This would be attributed from Starscream, but his ability to repress it was passed down from Megatron.

"We will not continue this topic of discussion," Starscream snarled. His hands too were clutching the cube near breaking point. "It is none of your business!"

"Awww!" Skywarp sighed, soaring over to his superior's side. He wrapped an arm around Starscream's shoulders. "You can tell us, ole buddy. After all - " the Seeker paused to place his mouth to the side of Starscream's head and snicker, "If you were capable of doing _that_ with us, a little gossiping about the boss's abilities in berth should be no problem."

Starscream face contorted into embarrassed horror.

Axedent couldn't help but blip, "What are you talking about?" Damn his young curiosity. Instantly after asking, he tensed all his wires and muscles, awaiting a world of hurt.

Before Starscream could deliver this pain, Skywarp released a loud laugh and swatted him on the back. "Ah, it's a long story, kid," he chuckled. A second later: "Wanna hear it?"

"Absolutely not!" Starscream interjected.

Axedent found it best not to answer. Unlike him, however, Skywarp wasn't afraid of Starscream. "Remember that night on Cybertron, 'Cracker? Two orns before we ended up crashing on this dirt ball?" the purple Seeker inquired, dropping his head back in thought.

Thundercracker chortled. "Oh, how could I forget?" he purred. He winked an optic in Starscream's direction. "I have all your interesting moans recorded in my memory banks, y'know."

Starscream was blistering red with anger - only not, as that is impossible. "I'm warning you now, you nettlesome glitches! Keep talking and I'll turn you both into can openers!" he threatened.

No one was afraid. Axedent was, but also intrigued.

"Calm down, calm down, Screamer," Skywarp giggled. "We gotta pass time, y'know, and plus - I'm sure your kid would like to know a bit more about his - uhh... what do humans call them...?" He tapped a finger on his chin, pondering lethologically.

He was taking way too long, making the situation really awkward, so Thundercracker chimed in, "Mom?"

"Mom, that's it!" Skywarp snapped his fingers.

"I am not some 'mom'!" Starscream insisted.

Skywarp flicked a hand at Axedent. "Beg to differ," he disagreed canorously, continuing before Starscream could toss in a word, "now see kid, it was a long time ago. Megacycles, to be exact. But the memory's still fresh, as if it happened yesterday." He sighed heavily. "We three Seekers, bored out of our cranial chambers and lookin' for a little fun before we would start another raid on the Autotwits, decided - "

"Shut your mouth!" Starscream hissed, clamping his hands over Skywarp's mouth.

Thundercracker was quick to catch the hot potato. "So with nothing better to do, and your esteemed ma over there over-charged on cheap energon, Uncle 'Warp and I decided to fool around a little bit. Maybe mess with his circuitry while we were at it." His grin spread across his face. "In more ways than one, heh heh..."

Starscream shoved Skywarp aside. "I'm about to fry _your_ circuitry if you continue, Thundercracker!" he warned, raising his null ray.

Skywarp stepped back to Starscream's side. "Aw, don't be ashamed." His hip gave Starscream a playful nudge. "You really enjoyed it!"

"I did not!"

"Did toooo!" Thundercracker teased. He bent towards Axedent and whispered, "You shoulda seen yer ma, kid, he was shrieking like a little fem-"

A shot of Starscream's null ray shut Thundercracker up, as well as graze his arm. Thundercracker stumbled aside and rubbed his sore limb. "Hey, jerk!" he growled. "You shot me!"

"Well no slag, Sherlockon," Starscream snorted. Skywarp continued bumping hips with him. With an angry growl, the Air Commander turned and kneed the purple Seeker's hip. "This conversation will not continue!" he ordered.

Thundercracker rubbed the small slice in his arm. "What conversation?" he jeered. "The one about me and 'Warp interfacing the Pit out of you?"

Axedent's optics widened. "W-What...?" he swallowed, not sure if his meta processor had played a trick on him.

"Aarggh!" Starscream growled, pressing his hands to the sides of his head. He then threw his hands into fists by his sides, stomping a foot. "You just _had_ to continue, didn't you, numb nodes!" he seethed.

Skywarp swaggered over to Axedent. "Well now that the kid knows, there's no need to stop the story," he chuckled deep in his throat.

"Oh, I think it does," Starscream scowled.

"W-Wait..." Axedent drummed his fingers to his chin. He pointed to Skywarp then to Thundercracker. "You two... had... with..." Slowly, his trembling finger moved to Starscream, who was glaring Pitfire at him.

"Yup!" Thundercracker and Skywarp replied in perfect unison.

Starscream rose a finger. "One time! That's it! A mistake!" He didn't want to add on the entire, "Like everything else when it comes to interfacing!" That would imply he was imperfect and that, that was a laughable idea.

Thundercracker switched a new energon cube out. "One screw is all you need to satisfy your entire life," he sniggered. Axedent shivered. The blue Seeker looked to his buddy. "It wasn't hard getting Screamer down, was it, 'Warp?"

"Not at all," Skywarp agreed as Starscream shouted something about eliminating and destroying and other unimportant nonsense. "He went down easily. Lazy aft made us do all the work," he chortled.

Starscream flailed his hands at Skywarp. "I am going to _kiiilll_ you!"

"He's surprisingly sensitive to pleasure, as he is pain," Thundercracker crooned. Starscream's limbs were now flailing at him.

Axedent tried to keep all his attention on his near full cube. "I... I see..." Okay, now he really didn't want this to continue. Damn him for having even showed any sort of reaction that would warrant a storytelling.

Starscream made a sniffing noise and folded his arms over his chest. "The sparkling doesn't want to hear anymore."

"Since when did you care what others wanted?" Thundercracker inquired rhetorically.

Skywarp slapped his friend's shoulder. "I know! Let's not tell the story!" he declared. Starscream nodded in approval. Then his jaw unhinged when Skywarp finished: "Let's _show_ him! Play it out for the kid!"

"That's okay!" Axedent eeped as Starscream snarled, "No, you won't!"

The purple Seeker sidled up to Starscream's side. "C'mooon, it'll be fun - just like last time," he purred, his hand giving Starscream's rear a playful thwap.

Starscream jumped forward, glaring back at him. "You're really pushing my buttons, you - "

The Air Commander was unable to finish when Thundercracker suddenly appeared behind him, flung his arms around his frame and shoved his fingers carelessly and without warning into Starscream's chest turbines. Starscream released a warbled cry, nearly falling backwards. "He really likes bein' groped here," the blue Decepticon chortled, tracing the details inside the engines with his fingers in slow circles.

_Oh, Primus_, Axedent thought, _he's touching his ta-tas!_

"I'm going to rip off your head and feed it to Skywarp, you suicidal imbecile!" Starscream roared, pulling at Thundercracker's hands. Thundercracker just smiled dimwittedly, using all his strength to keep his hands pressed to Starscream's chest in its vulgar sexual display. Axedent cupped his mouth, feeling energon rising.

Skywarp peeked out behind one of Starscream's hitched wings, raised like the fur on an enraged cat's back. "Don't forget his wings," he added with a chipper grin. He pinched the upturned corners, causing Starscream to quiver. "He's especially sensitive here."

Axedent wasn't watching, but he could see everything. Damn his overactive cerebral processor...!

"Death!" Starscream exclaimed, biting into his lip as Skywarp continued to taunt his wing, and Thundercracker his torso turbines. Oh, man, this wasn't suppose to feel good! "Sweet, slow and painful _death_!"

Thundercracker and Skywarp now had themselves wrapped like a second (and third) skin around their superior. "All this goofing off and reminiscing has put me in a feisty mood!" Skywarp giggled, running his leg up and down the length of Starscream's.

"I'm sure the kid won't mind if we just act out the entire play," Thundercracker suggested, cheek to cheek with his furious commander. "Hey, it'll be like Interfacing Education!"

"NO!" both Starscream and Axedent cried shrilly. Starscream flailed and squirmed and writhed. "Slag you leeches! Get the Pit off me so I can burn you both to crisps!" he frothed.

Skywarp wibbled. "Bwaaa, you're no fuuun - "

"Freeze, Deceptiscum!"

Axedent dropped the cube in his hands, all the energon pouring out onto the floor. Skywarp and Thundercracker stopped groping and rubbing against Starscream. Starscream's optics dimmed as he sighed. "... Oh, what _perfect_ timing..."

The four Decepticons looked back to see a throng of bewildered Autobots a few yards away. Optimus, Prowl and Jazz were just as surprised and shocked as their enemies. Prowl's jaw was dropped, Jazz reeled back in terror and Optimus... Well, it was hard to know what the hell he looked like when expressing various emotions.

For an entire minute, all the Decepticons and Autobots did was stare at one another. Specifically at the position the three Seekers were in. Finally, with an enraged snarl, Starscream managed to throw his comrades off of him. "Can this orn get _any worse_!" he cried before shooting his null ray at the Autobots. They woke from their daze just in time to scatter and avoid the blows.

"You... You Decepticons won't be... stealing any energon today! Or... or whatever you were doing!" Prowl swallowed, his processors still trying to delete the image from earlier. He hoisted his gun and shot at Starscream.

Starscream jumped back, the ray hitting the ground. "Stealing energon!" he screeched. "That's _all_ we were doing!" He fired his rays at both Prowl and Optimus.

Jazz rolled away from one of Thundercracker's lasers. "Sure didn't look like no energon stealin' I seen before," he smirked. He crouched to one knee and shot three times at Thundercracker. One shot hit the Seeker, sending him sprawling backwards and onto his rear. "'Less you baddies were tryin' to extract energon from _one another_!" the Autobot teased.

Prowl was so surprised by his comment and the mental image it conjured, his dead perfect aim to Skywarp's chest missed by an inch. "Don't even think of such... such _horrible_ things!" he gagged.

Skywarp shot Prowl in the shoulder while he was distracted with disgust. "Hey, don't go knockin' it until you've tried it!" the purple Seeker exclaimed. He grinned wryly. "Maybe if you weren't some Autoloser, I'd show you firsthand!"

"Thanks," Prowl grumbled, raising his gun, "but _Pit no_." He then shot at Skywarp, but alas, missed.

Starscream ran over to Axedent, occasionally turning around to fire shots. "You continue filling the energon cubes!" he relegated.

Axedent stood. "But, I want to help-"

"You'd be friable on the field! I can tell, believe me!" Starscream hissed. He shoved an empty cube against his creation's chest. "Do as you're commanded or I'll be firing on you next!" he ordered before running back into battle.

Axedent took the cube, pursed his lips into a pout and reluctantly went back to work.

"I bet they're just envious of us, 'Warp!" Thundercracker cackled, ducking behind an engine. He peeked out to fire a few shots. "Probably still a coupla untappeds, know what I mean!"

Skywarp bellowed with laughter. "No wonder they're so uptight!" he shouted. His giggling was cut short from Jazz's foot connecting with his jaw.

"Where is Megatron, Starscream!" Optimus demanded. He used his arm to shield a blow from Thundercracker before shooting his cannon at him twice. The first hit missed but the second nicked 'Cracker in the knee.

"That lazy fool isn't here!" Starscream retorted with cupidity. He turned his left null ray to Optimus. "I'm the leader now, so you're going to have to fight me! If you feel you're not up to par, you're most welcome to turn and retreat like you Autobots so fondly do!"

Jazz threw his head back with loud laughter. "Look who's talkin'!" Skywarp leapt at him, the two falling over in a scuffle.

Prowl and Thundercracker were locked hand to hand. "This is a small hit," the growling Autobot exclaimed, "Megatron wouldn't bother wasting his time here! So of course Starscream would be leader!"

"I'll make you eat those words _and_ my fist, you slagging piece of trash!" Starscream snapped.

Optimus ran at the occupied Seeker. "No you don't, Starscream," he stated, "your fight's with me, remember!" He then dove head first into Starscream's midsection, sending the shrieking Seeker onto the ground, the larger Autobot pinning him down.

Skywarp managed to throw Jazz aside. "Hey, 'Dent!" he laughed, "check out your ma's position right now! Totally the same one as our little get together that one time!"

Axedent couldn't help but look back and whimper when he did.

"You'll die tonight, Skywarp!" Starscream howled, pushing one hand to Optimus's face, the other struggling to wiggle out from the Autobot leader's tight grasp.

Jazz was back on his feet and, a second later, on top of Skywarp. "Who's that new 'Con anyhow!" he demanded, shaking the Seeker by his shoulders.

Skywarp threw Jazz on his back, rolling on top of him. "Starscream's little sparkling boy!" he answered, recoiling a fist.

"Who'd reproduce with him of all Transformers!" Prowl mused, throwing Thundercracker in a suplex.

Jazz blocked Skywarp's descending fist. "Someone desperate I betcha!" the Autobot sniggered.

Starscream kneed Optimus in his groin, forcing the Autobot to fall back on his knees. "These idiots are lying! And for your information-!" The Seeker stood and round kicked Optimus in the face. "_Many_ Cybertronians, Autoscum and Decepticon alike have, would and want to interface with me!"

Optimus grabbed Starscream's leg before it could pull back. "I feel sorry for whomever it was," he said ever so calmly before throwing Starscream over his shoulder. The Seeker hit the ground face first, doing a flip over onto his back with a steel crunching groan.

"You're just saying that..." Starscream coughed. "Because you can't have _any_ of this..."

"I'll give Megatron your condolences!" Skywarp exclaimed, shooting Jazz in the shoulder.

Prowl gaped as he shoved his heel in Thundercracker's side. "_Megatron_! Are you _pulling my wires_!" he gasped. Then gasped again when Thundercracker shot him in the stomach.

"Yes! I mean, yes, I didn't!" Starscream insisted, crawling on hands and knees. "I would never do such intimate things with him! Even if he were the last Decepticon, Autobot or Transformer on Cybertron, Earth or any other planet for that matter!"

Optimus advanced on him, cannon raised. "I always believed interfacing was between the people you loved," he said, "I never would have imagined you two were..."

"_Love_!" Starscream cackled. He flipped on his back, raised his arms and shot lasers at the Autobot leader. "I could never love such a vile waste of spark and energon!"

Jazz and Thundercracker were toe to toe. "This is just as twisted and outrageous as _As The Kitchen Sinks_, man!" he laughed. "I can't help but wonder what ole Megs's like in bed..."

"_Jazz_!" Prowl seethed, prying Skywarp's hands from his throat. "_For the love of Primus, shut UP_...!"

Optimus picked Starscream up and hoisted him above his head. "In any case..." he grunted.

"Oh, not this...!" the Air Commander growled, flailing.

Optimus threw Starscream down hard. "It's none of our business!"

"Still! What a terrible relationship!"

"Yeah! And the results aren't that pretty either!"

Axedent scowled as he finished filling the final cube. "You act as if I'm not even here, you insensitive jerkheads..." he grumbled lowly to himself. He placed the final cube on a stack of nine others. "It's done! I got 'em all tapped!" he exclaimed.

Instead of waiting for his companions to come to him, Axedent looked to his cannon/null ray fusion on his shoulder and ran forward. He was going to shoot someone, dammit, and no one was going to stop him! "I'll help, guys, you go load up the energon!" he shouted magniloquently. He instantly made his way to Optimus; he was obviously the most important, the most powerful. So whatever put the crazy idea he could take him on in his mind was obviously stupid.

"Axedent!" Starscream barked, shoving Optimus aside. "Get out of here! You're a liability!"

"Axedent, huh? Like 'Accident'?" Prowl chuckled, shooting Thundercracker into a generator. He turned his gun to the little Decepticon. "I guess it's fitting!"

Axedent quickly whipped around and fired, both his shot and Prowl's colliding and exploding in a cloud of light. "Don't take me so lightly, Autobot!" he snarled, stomping a foot forward, pushing out his chest and striking a pose. "I am a formidable opponent! I'll make all you lamers totally shit bricks!" He turned his sharp, threatening glare to the sky. "I eat Autobots for breakfast and right now I'm very hungry! The heat is on! I love the smell of naplam in the morning!"

Everyone stopped fighting to eye the Decepticon.

"What is he..." Prowl grumbled.

"Pit if I know," Skywarp murmured.

Axedent turned his attention to Optimus. "What's happenin', hot stuff? Me? I feel the need, the need for speed!" he cackled loudly.

Jazz rubbed the back of his head. "Should we, like, shoot at 'im?"

Prowl shrugged.

Axedent raised his cannon. "Say hello..." A big grin spread across his face. "... To my little friend!" he shouted wildly before pulling the trigger. Out from the barrel a pathetic sparkle of light was released, dying shortly after. Axedent blinked at least ten times. "That... wasn't supposed..."

"Back off, kid!" Prowl snapped, shooting the gun from Axedent's hands. "You're in way over your head!"

Axedent jumped and shook his hands. "Y-You shut your mouth!" he snarled, struggling to keep his cool. He pointed a finger at Prowl, everyone else lost in confusion, left harmless to stare. "You mess with the horns, 'bot, and you get the bull!" he threatened before running at Prowl, fists raised. These guns should work just fine!

"What the-!" Prowl took a step back.

"Red Rover, Red Rover," Axedent growled, nearing the Autobot, one fist pulled back for a punch, "send _Axedent right over_!"

A second later, Axedent leapt into the air and was now flying down at Prowl's face. Prowl reached up, grabbed his fist, twisted his arm around his back; the Autobot shoved him face down on the ground. Axedent laid there fore a second in complete silence until Skywarp released a high pitched _HAR_.

Starscream slapped a hand to his forehead. "For Unicron sakes..."

"I... I ain't down and out, yet..." Axedent groaned pertinaciously, struggling onto his elbows. He couldn't let this be the end. This couldn't end in defeat. It was too pathetic, and he was much too driven to prove his strength. The way Skywarp, Thundercracker and even _Jazz_ were laughing at him, the way Starscream and Optimus could only _stare_ and the pitiful look on Prowl's face only made this desire to win and be victorious stronger.

"Ss..." Axedent grumbled, wiping off the side of his mouth. Prowl tilted his head. "Strike f-first... strike hard... show... no mercy..." With a grunt, he then mustered all his strength and pounced into the air, much like a cat, at Prowl, shouting, "_TO THE WINCH, WENCH_!"

Prowl merely needed to extend his arms, grab the Decepticon by the hips and, with simple ease, throw him nearly two yards away. Axedent tumbled and rolled across the ground like a snowball down a hill. "You really must be a neophyte..." the Autobot sighed, dusting off his hands.

Starscream almost felt he needed to _apologize_ to Optimus for all the embarrassment his creation had caused. "You disappoint me again, Axedent!" the Seeker growled. For a second, he thought he suddenly understood all the pain he put Megatron thro - oh haha yeah _right_.

Axedent bubbled mindless words as he sat up, his face sporting a variety of superficial cuts. "You... you jus' got lucky, s'all..." he mumbled, not quite sure what he was saying. Nonetheless, that drive to continue fighting, to face his enemies and his mistakes, kept him fueled and moving. He swayed back to his feet, continuing to rock back and forth as his optics glitched. "Gonna make this'a... beat down-o-... o-rama..."

The little Decepticon remembered, doing studies on both Cybertron, Earth and each and every Decepticon, that his "ma" could shoot lasers from his fingers. Perhaps if his weaponry system... Well, since his cannon was pathetic and he couldn't stand one second in a fist fight, Axedent had no choice but to give it a try. It was, sadly, his last resort.

"Eat... lead..." Axedent grumbled, dazed. He slowly lifted and pointed a finger at Prowl, who wasn't even looking at or paying him any mind.

Skywarp walked over to Axedent, taking him by the shoulder. "Stoppit, kid, you're embarrassing us..." he growled, ashamed, as he turned Axedent around to face him.

Axedent, half his system insenated and in the process of shutting down for repairs, activated his weaponry just as he went face to face with the purple Seeker. "... Motherfucker," the little Decepticon finished blankly, igniting his finger-laser's core trigger.

What would happen next shocked the entire existence of every Cybertronian on the field. Where his flying, his gun and his fists failed, his finger-laser made up tenfold. The moment he activated his last weapon, a laser of such strength and magnitude blew from his digit and hit Skywarp so hard, it sent him sprawling fifty feet into the sky. His scream and the massive amount of power produced snapped Axedent from his daze immediately in shock and awe.

"Holy-!" Starscream, Thundercracker, Jazz and Prowl all squealed in shocked unison, their optics following Skywarp into the air and down to the ground where he crashed.

"'Warp!" Thundercracker gasped, flying to his friend's aide. He recoiled in horror at the sight. Skywarp had hit the ground so hard, he had left a rather large, smoky dent. The glass on his cockpit had shattered completely, and a hole just below his spark revealed inner, intricate circuits. "Oh, man! Hey, you alive?" the blue Seeker asked, swiping a hand back and forth over Skywarp's face.

Skywarp groaned loudly, but his optics remained offline. "I... I can't feel my legs..." he whimpered. "Oh, Primus, _I can't feel my legs_!"

"Slag!" Thundercracker exclaimed. "Here!" He then kicked Skywarp's right leg, nice and hard.

"Oooo_ooohhhh, slag it_! _That hurt, afthole_!" the wounded Decepticon snarled, his body releasing a pulse of pain. "I... I can't get my optics online! I-I-Oh, Primus, I better not be blind...!"

Jazz shook his head in awe. "So the kid _does_ pack a punch..." he murmured.

Axedent's jaw kept opening and closing, words unable to surface past his lips. He looked at Skywarp, then Thundercracker, then to Starscream. Starscream was currently fanning his face, counting backwards from ten to one.

"I... I didn't..." the little Decepticon murmured, sheepishly walking over to his comrades.

Skywarp's head lashed to and fro. "Who - who's that! That 'Dent?" he demanded. "If it's him - I'm gonna _deactivate the slag_ out of him!" The purple Seeker's hands felt along the rubble. "Where's he at where's he at oh _Primus_ just guide my hands to his _neck_, I'll do the rest...!"

Axedent quickly scampered backwards.

Starscream knew this would be the best time to retreat. Especially when the Autobots were distracted by the sheer amount of stupidity they'd just witnessed. "Thundercracker!" he seethed, running three steps forward before transforming. "Grab Skywarp and retreat!" he ordered.

"Don't let them get away!" Optimus ordered. Instantly, the three Autobots were firing their guns at the Decepticons.

Starscream quickly grabbed Axedent and hoisted him over his back, holding him there with one hand. Axedent didn't know, even as a few shots hit him, he was being used as a shield. Starscream shoved a couple energon cubes in his cockpit, Thundercracker (carrying Skywarp) dodging bullets as he rocked to and fro in the sky, back to base.

"Grab these, idiot! If you're even capable of doing that!" Starscream barked, throwing the wounded Axedent down. He turned and shot his null rays at the Autobots as Axedent quickly, though clumsily, picked up the remaining cubes. Just as he snatched one cube in each arm, he felt clasps on both sides of his head; an instant later, he was lifted from the ground, screaming. Starscream's hardpoints held onto his head, feet and legs flailing in the air.

Optimus lowered his cannon. "Cease fire," he ordered.

Prowl did as he was told, but Jazz laughed and said, "Wait, lemme try something...!" He then cocked his gun and carefully aiming it at the fading Air Commander and his kin, he shot off one last blast.

A second later, the blast hit Axedent dead on and together with the energon cubes and Starscream, they all crashed to the ground

There came a soft 'boom' from the distance, followed by a small cloud of dust and Starscream shrieking in his highest vocals, "_GODDAMMIT_!"

* * *

III

* * *

"My calculations estimated at least nine cubes..."

Starscream wanted to correct Megatron, but given the current situation, it was best to keep his mouth shut. The mighty Decepticon leader paced back and forth in front of Axedent and Starscream. "And you managed to bring back only..." He stopped, counting off his digits. "... Five."

"Correct," Starscream grumbled. He hated feeling so inferior as he did now. "To be fair, I packed and brought back the most..." A puerile reply, but immaturity was nothing new to the Air Commander. His optics narrowed at the smaller Decepticon beside him, who could do nothing more but study the ground with intense fear.

"Well," Megatron smirked, but was not amused, "you must be really proud of yourself."

Starscream scowled; sarcasm was nothing new to him, either.

Megatron placed his hands to his steel hips and continued pacing. "I send you on one of the most simplest of missions, to collect just enough energon for an infantile sparkling to carry and you come back with this." He swished a black hand at the five cubes nearby. One had been damaged in the fall from Jazz's blast, half of it emptied. Megatron's hand moved behind him, to Skywarp lying wounded and moaning in a statis pod, Thundercracker worriedly watching over him. "And this as a bonus."

"Well, we would have gotten away with it," Starscream scowled. He glowered darkly at his son. "If it wasn't for this kid and his pesky stupidity!" The Seeker snapped his furious gaze back to Megatron, who made it no secret a dark cloud of violence was hovering above his head. "I _told_ you taking him with us was a bad idea! But do you ever _listen_ to m-"

Starscream finished his whining with a loud _clunk_ as his back hit the ground. Megatron withdrew his fist, fingers tightening into his palm. A shiver ran down Axedent's backbone infrastructure, knowing sooner or later he'd be eating the floor he was so intensely staring at as well. "Perhaps my only mistake was making _you_ in charge of the operation," the Decepticon leader growled. "Your lack of leadership skills got you into this mess."

The Seeker said nothing, but his mind was screaming with insults. "Tell your son with the brass bearings that," he grumbled.

Megatron approached the little Decepticon. His shadow swallowed him up. "As much as I would like to," he said smoothly, "I can't place all the blame on Starscream." He twirled a wrist at Axedent. "I was informed that you disobeyed a direct command from your superior to retreat with the energon cubes. Rather, you decided to run blindly into battle, getting your diode promptly handed to you. And while your equilibrium chip was recovering from all the damage, you accidentally blew a hole in your comrade with some newfound power. Is this true?"

All of it was true, sadly enough. The critical damage could all be chalked up to Axedent's temerarious behavior. "Affirmative," he murmured lowly. God, he didn't notice just how many cracks were in the floor until now.

Megatron smiled, nodded, placed his hands behind his back. "Wise of you to answer honestly," he flattered kindly. He sounded generally sincere. However, his following actions were anything but. Suddenly, that sanguine grin on his face faded, replaced with an enraged frown and his mighty big fist lunged forward and decked the Decepticon hard in the center of his faceplate. Axedent was flung backwards, the small of his back hitting the main computer's control panels with a harsh crack. He dropped to his knees, wincing.

"I put you on one little mission! Hardly difficult at all!" Megatron upbraided and stomped over to the young Decepticon. He pulled him up by his tiny wings and lifted him above his head, as per family tradition. Axedent's optics filled with fluid; oh, Primus, he knew this was going to hurt. _Bad_. "And you go and frag it up!" the Decepticon leader snarled and launched his subordinate clear across the room and into one of the far walls.

Starscream was just thankful he wasn't the one being tossed this time.

Thundercracker left his buddy's side and joined the group. "Boss!" he gasped excitedly. "Lemme take care of 'im! For Skywarp's sake!" he pleaded, producing a baseball bat from behind his back.

"I suppose, since Skywarp is currently incapacitated, you would be the wisest choice. After all, it is much like punishment fitting the cr where the _Pit_ did you get that thing?"

Thundercracker slowly drew the baseball bat back behind him. "Er, well, I sorta just found it..." he answered. "I figured, you know, if our weapons are down, we got something handy to use. I saw some Earth program where these fleshlings were using it to beat the brains out of this one-"

"Whatever, Thundercracker, shut up," Starscream interrupted. He stood, brushing off his legs. "It still stands that due to Axedent's rash behavior, we failed. I think it's best you take my advice and punish him." He dropped a fist in his open hand. "May I suggest disassembling him and putting him back together incorrectly? An arm for a head would be quite amusing... Or we could just tie weights to his feet and let him rust in the ocean for ten or maybe twenty cycles."

Axedent made a repined whimper.

Megatron turned up his nose to his second. "All very good suggestions I'll need to keep in mind when handling your insolence later," he replied. Starscream's face drooped with frustration. Then an idea crept into the Decepticon's cranial vault and his grin turned nefarious. It made Axedent grimace. "I know. For your punishment, you'll spend ten cycles in solitary confinement-"

"What!" Starscream irrupted, lurching forward. "Megatron, solitary confinement is too light! Not enough to make this weak brat realize his failures! Why, you should try using my ideas! They're much more harsh and suitable!"

"Shut up, you callow fool!" Megatron chided. "Let me finish before you open your mouth!"

Starscream reluctantly bit back his whines.

Megatron snorted then turned back to the frightened Axedent. "As I said, you will be spending ten cycles in solitary confinement..." he said. With a point, he finished, "- with Shockwave on Cybertron."

Starscream was aghast. "You cruel mad man...!"

Axedent didn't know how to react. But it didn't sound like he'd be in for a picnic.

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

A drunk and angsting Shockwave... really. Also, interfacing interruptions, dangerous scheming and Megatron's pretty, pretty flower head.

A/N: Most of all of Axedent's battle cries were quotes from various early 80's movies, save one or two.

This chapter was originally going to contain two other parts, but it turned out too long. IMHO, that is. So no drunk and angsty Shockwave in this part. But, anyway, again, **a bit more sexuality**. Mostly groping and naughty talk, but no actual sexing, haha. I think the rating will go up as an M the next chapter. In the meantime, enjoy while I go and heat up my Mexican food.

* * *

Chapter 4:

**Brass Bearings**

* * *

Axedent wasn't quite sure what had happened after the initial drop. On his way down, the Earth becoming closer and closer with each second, his mind was riddled with panic. Try as he might, his engines, deformed and perhaps nothing more but decoration as Starscream had put it, would not ignite. Even flapping his wings was futile, though he knew that all along. Still, Axedent had to try everything.

Eventually, his system started to shut down in sections, as if going on auto pilot for destruction. The locking chip was activating. Soon he'd be offline and perhaps this was his body's way of guaranteeing a painless death, as he'd be knocked out cold when impact was made. That in itself was a terrifying idea, and he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to battle off the approaching shut down or let it take him out and just hope to Primus his spark would go to a happier, abuse-free paradise.

However, just before his optics would turn themselves off for impending doom, his body took a sudden lurch upward and, in a matter of three nanoseconds, the Earth below was once again retracting from his sight, clouds quilting it from his view. As if his circuitry and locking chip knew, for now, he was in no real catastrophic danger, systems went back online and auto pilot was switched off.

It wasn't until Axedent landed outside the power plant nearby Salt Lake City when he realized just how exactly he was still alive. Whatever was holding him let him go again and once more he fell thrashing to the Earth-however only ten feet down. The exaggerated and dramatic panic he made caused the others to laugh.

Skywarp was by his side a moment later, in his Transformer mode. "I thought you'd at least get some leverage in," he chuckled, pulling the little Decepticon up out of the gravel. "I mean, I guess your wings and auto gyros really _are_ shot."

"Meh... eh... hnn..." Axedent couldn't summon an intelligent reply. He was still dazed and shocked by all he had been put through in the last ten or so minutes. That twitching glitch returned to his left optic again. "G'gezzz soo..."

Starscream, with Thundercracker behind, walked past the two, snapping, "All right, you've had your laughs, now it's time to get to work." He grumbled as he brushed off his wings. "I want to go back to base and take a long, boiling, scolding hot energon bath."

"Up to, kid," Skywarp smirked and thwacked Axedent forward.

Axedent squeaked as he fell forward (oh, not again), but transformed into his robot mode just in time to catch his balance. He gave the purple Seeker something of a pathetic scowl but did nothing more. He didn't want to cause more trouble and plus he was fairly certain Skywarp could kick his diode into the next seven orns.

Their footfalls were heavy and loud as they approached the main entrance of the plant. "Game faces on, idiots, we're Decepticons. We have to look like real threats and not a bunch of jesters," the Air Commander ordered, referring to the doofy grins on Thundercracker and Skywarp's faces. They managed to wipe them off, however. "Now," Starscream sniffed, "let's do business with these Earth creatures."

Starscream rose his foot, shoving his turbine-heel into the wall. With a little flame from the engine, and the force of the hit, most of the wall collapsed inward with a loud 'thud' and cloud of debris. There came some startled noises from within and Thundercracker peeled away some bits of the remainder of the wall like one would a curtain so they could all fit inside.

Down below was a crowd of three dozen men and women, all in white lab coats or construction outfits. They all gaped in awe and terror at the four giant robot monsters. Starscream poked his head inside, pushing up more of the ceiling to get in.

"Anyone who wants to die," he exclaimed, raising his armed limb, "scream."

It wasn't like anyone was thinking coherently at the time, so of course most everyone did scream. Though one girl was clever enough to clamp hands over her mouth and hope to God these Decepticons would spare her her life. Hey, they tended to be merciful in the past.

However, with Megatron out of the picture, luck wasn't entirely on their side. Starscream was far more open to demolishing life forces than Megatron was. Then there was Skywarp, who thought nearly dropping a comrade to his death was a mere joke-what he could do to humans, little tiny tiny creatures, was a horror to imagine.

"Well, we're obliged to give you what we offered," Starscream chuckled and fired his null ray at a throng of people. Most of them managed to disperse, but one or two weren't so lucky. Starscream headed inside, making his way to the main computer system. Skywarp, Thundercracker and Axedent covered him, shooting at the humans. Well, Skywarp was doing most of the actual shooting; Thundercracker hesitated often and Axedent was just a poor shot.

One technician was heroically trying to alert authorities from the main computer. However, before he could finish, Starscream was cowering over him. "Join the rest of your herd, you germ," he growled, picking the man up by the back of his lab coat. He then carelessly tossed him over his shoulder.

Axedent watched as Skywarp and Thundercracker used one elderly scientist to play catch. Starscream was currently fiddling with the computer and most of the humans had managed to escape. Not sure if he should be doing anything, Axedent went to ask if his service could be nee- "Oh, shit!" the young Decepticon shrieked, pin pricks of pain hitting the back of his head. He turned and saw one human firing a gun at him, screaming something along the lines of, "Die, assholes, die!"

"Knock it off! My head's pounding enough as it is," Axedent snarled, his optic giving another twitch. He bent forward and flicked the human clear across the room. The only problem was the human crashed against Starscream's head, causing his superior to release a surprised and angry howl.

"Who did that!" Starscream snarled, standing. He picked the dazed and crippled man from off the ground. He shook the poor creature at Skywarp and Thundercracker, the obvious suspects. "Did one of you sonnuvaglitches throw this garbage at me!"

Thundercracker and Skywarp rose their hands up innocently, the human they were throwing falling to the ground with a loud 'oomph.' Thundercracker then tilted his head to the side, in Axedent's direction. Starscream glowered at his creation; he wouldn't suspect the young Decepticon to do such a dangerous thing, but Axedent was horrible when it came to hiding his guilt.

"Trying to make your comrades laugh by taunting your superior!" Starscream snapped, marching up to Axedent.

Axedent bowed his head. "It was an accident, sir," he muttered. "I'm real sorry."

"Sorry!" Starscream would wrinkle his nose if it were possible. "Well... Sorry," he said, thwapping Axedent upside the head with the human. "Doesn't cut it!" he finished, slapping the other side of his head with the human again. He then dropped the battered human, pretty much on the verge of death. Starscream pushed Axedent over to the other Seekers. "I've programmed the generators to highest power and velocity. Ready the energon cubes!" he growled.

Axedent rubbed his faceplate, sulking privately as Skywarp and Thundercracker sniggered at his expense. Nonetheless, he followed them back into the warehouse, into the room with all the powerful and roaring electricity generators. "I'm gonna assume since you can't even fly," Thundercracker taunted, "y'can't make energon cubes, either."

The small Decepticon said nothing and let the two laugh as they made him the large, transparent cubes to fill, tossing them at him. He watched his elders fill up the cubes first, to know exactly what he had to do-and not fuck up. When he got the general idea, he approached one generator and began to fill it, just as Starscream returned to his wingmates's sides.

"This won't take long," Starscream grunted. He took out his energon cube and placed it to one of the generator's turbines. A flood of purple energy poured itself into the cube. "We'll most likely only get ten cubes max with this pathetic site. Might as well cripple the vein dry."

Axedent waited for the others to produce the energon cubes for him; they made sure to rub this fact in his faceplate before handing him two. He just had to grin and bear it; eventually they would accept him, would consider him a real comrade in arms. After all, new pledges seemed to get the brunt of most of the abuse until they prove themselves capable warriors. Axedent just had to find the right time and place for this opportunity to prove himself.

Axedent was also oblivious to the fact Decepticons never had any real friends. At least, none you could trust entirely. Though perhaps this was just his creator's opinions echoing in his databanks. Surely Skywarp and Thundercracker were best friends, even if they tended to beat the living shit out of one another. Oh, well, this was all besides the point.

"Get your head out of the clouds," Starscream grunted as he shoved past his creation, moving to fill his quota. Axedent nodded quickly and went to work, placing his cube to his engine. The purple liquid pathetically dripped into his cube and more snickers were to be had, since everyone else was getting a steady flow. Adult Transformers and their silly Freudiantron jokes.

In a matter of ten minutes, the flow of energon decreased greatly, evenly matching the rate of Axedent's flow. No more chuckles now. Eventually, standing there and waiting for their cubes to fill bored Skywarp, who could barely stand in one place for too long. Call it robot ADD.

"So!" the purple Seeker exclaimed out of nowhere, putting the cube down on the ground. The dripping energon hit it square in the middle. "This bein' the result," he continued, nodding to Axedent then looking up to his commander, "I take it sparkbonding with the Big Boss is pretty darn good?"

Starscream nearly tossed his half-full energon cube at Skywarp's head. "Shut up!" he caterwauled.

Thundercracker added lightheartedly: "Or bad, seeing the damage of the result..."

Axedent squeezed his energon cube tightly. Primus, he was getting sick and tired of their taunts. But, he had to play it cool. If he flipped out on them, no one would ever take him seriously. Not to mention, as young as he was, he was wise to know Skywarp and Thundercracker could take him out with ease. Still, that nagging, "Do it! Kick them where Cybertron don't shine! Do it!" was rattling the back of his cranial chamber. This would be attributed from Starscream, but his ability to repress it was passed down from Megatron.

"We will not continue this topic of discussion," Starscream snarled. His hands too were clutching the cube near breaking point. "It is none of your business!"

"Awww!" Skywarp sighed, soaring over to his superior's side. He wrapped an arm around Starscream's shoulders. "You can tell us, ole buddy. After all-" the Seeker paused to place his mouth to the side of Starscream's head and snigger, "If you were capable of doing _that_ with us, a little gossiping about the boss's abilities in berth should be no problem."

Starscream face contorted into embarrassed horror.

Axedent couldn't help but blip, "What are you talking about?" Damn his young curiosity. Instantly after asking, he tensed all his wires and muscles, awaiting a world of hurt.

Before Starscream could deliver this pain, Skywarp released a loud laugh and swatted him on the back. "Ah, it's a long story, kid," he chuckled. A nanosecond letter, he smirked playfully, "Wanna hear it?"

"Absolutely not!" Starscream interjected.

Axedent found it best not to answer. Unlike him, however, Skywarp wasn't afraid of his sub-leader. "Remember that night on Cybertron, 'Cracker? Two orns before we ended up crash landing here on this dirt ball?" the purple Seeker inquired, dropping his head back in thought.

Thundercracker chortled. "Oh, how could I forget?" he purred. He winked an optic in Starscream's direction. "I have all your interesting moans recorded in my memory banks, y'know."

Starscream was blistering red with anger-only not, as that is impossible. "I'm warning you now, you nettlesome glitches! Keep talking and I'll turn you both into can openers!" he threatened.

No one was afraid. Axedent was, but more so intrigued.

"Calm down, calm down, Screamer," Skywarp giggled. "We gotta pass time, y'know, and plus-I'm sure your kid would like to know a bit more about his-uhh... what do humans call them...?" He tapped a finger on his chin, pondering lethologically.

He was taking way too long, making the situation really awkward, so Thundercracker chimed in, "Mom?"

"Mom, that's it!" Skywarp snapped his fingers.

"I am not some 'mom'!" Starscream insisted.

Skywarp flicked a hand at Axedent. "Beg to differ," he disagreed canorously, continuing before Starscream could toss in a word, "now see kid, it was a long time ago. Megacycles, to be exact. But the memory's still fresh, as if it happened yesterday." He sighed heavily. "We three Seekers, bored out of our cranial chambers and lookin' for a little fun before we would start another raid on the Autotwits, decided-"

"Shut your mouth!" Starscream hissed, clamping his hands over Skywarp's mouth.

Thundercracker was quick to catch the hot potato. "So with nothing better to do, and your esteemed ma over there over-charged on cheap energon, Uncle 'Warp and I decided to fool around a little bit. Maybe mess with his circuitry while we're at it." His grin spread across his face. "In more ways than one, heh heh..."

Starscream shoved Skywarp aside. "I'm about to fry _your_ circuitry if you continue speaking, Thundercracker!" he warned, raising his null ray.

Skywarp stepped back to Starscream's side. "Aw, don't be ashamed." His hip gave Starscream a playful nudge. "You really enjoyed it!"

"I did not!"

"Did toooo!" Thundercracker teased. He bent towards Axedent and whispered, "You shoulda seen yer ma, kid, he was shrieking like a little fem-"

A shot of Starscream's null ray shut Thundercracker up, as well as graze his arm. Thundercracker stumbled aside and rubbed his sore limb. "Hey, jerk!" he growled. "You shot me!"

"Well no slag, Sherlockon," Starscream snorted. Skywarp continued bumping hips with him. With an angry growl, the Air Commander turned and kneed the purple Seeker's hip. "This conversation will not continue!" he ordered.

Thundercracker rubbed the small slice in his arm. "What conversation?" he jeered. "The one about me and 'Warp interfacing the Pit out of you?"

Axedent's optics widened. "W-What...?" he swallowed, not sure if his meta processor had played a trick on him.

"Aarggh!" Starscream growled, pressing his hands to the sides of his head. He then threw his hands into fists by his sides, stomping a foot. "You just _had_ to continue, didn't you, numb nodes!" he seethed.

Skywarp swaggered over to Axedent. "Well now that the kid knows, there's no need to stop the story," he chuckled deep in his throat.

"Oh, I think it does," Starscream scowled.

"W-Wait..." Axedent drummed his fingers to his chin. He pointed to Skywarp then to Thundercracker. "You two... had... with..." Slowly, his trembling finger moved to Starscream, who was glaring Pitfire at him.

"Yup!" Thundercracker and Skywarp replied in perfect unison.

Starscream rose a finger. "One time! That's it! A mistake!" He didn't want to add on the entire, "Like everything else when it comes to interfacing!" That would imply he was imperfect and that, that was a laughable idea.

Thundercracker switched a new energon cube out. "One screw is all you need to satisfy your entire life," he sniggered. Axedent shivered. The blue Seeker looked to his buddy. "It wasn't hard getting Screamer down, was it, 'Warp?"

"Not at all," Skywarp agreed as Starscream shouted something about eliminating and destroying and other unimportant nonsense. "He went down easily. Lazy aft made us do all the work," he chortled.

Starscream flailed his hands at Skywarp. "I am going to _kiiilll_ you!"

"He's surprisingly sensitive to pleasure, as he is pain," Thundercracker crooned. Starscream's limbs were now flailing at him.

Axedent tried to keep all his attention on his near full cube. "I... I see..." Okay, now he really didn't want this to continue. Damn him for having even showed any sort of reaction that would warrant a storytelling.

Starscream made a sniffing noise and folded his arms over his chest. "The sparkling doesn't want to hear anymore," he informed.

"Since when did you care what others wanted?" Thundercracker inquired rhetorically.

Skywarp slapped his friend's shoulder. "I know! Let's not tell the story!" he declared. Starscream nodded in approval. Then his jaw unhinged when Skywarp finished: "Let's _show_ him! Play it out for the kid!"

"That's okay!" Axedent eeped as Starscream snarled, "No, you won't!"

The purple Seeker sidled up to Starscream's side. "C'mooon, it'll be fun-just like last time," he purred, his hand giving Starscream's diode a playful thwap.

Starscream jumped forward, glaring back at him. "You're really pushing my buttons, you-"

The Air Commander was unable to finish when Thundercracker suddenly appeared behind him, flung his arms around his frame and shoved his fingers carelessly and without warning into Starscream's chest turbines. Starscream released a warbled cry, nearly falling backwards. "He really likes bein' groped here," the blue Decepticon sniggered, tracing the details inside the engines with his fingers in slow circles.

_Oh, Primus_, Axedent thought, _he's touching his ta-tas!_

"I'm going to rip off your head and feed it to Skywarp, you suicidal imbecile!" Starscream roared, pulling at Thundercracker's hands. Thundercracker just smiled dimwittedly, using all his strength to keep his hands pressed to Starscream's chest in its vulgar sexual display. Axedent cupped his mouth, feeling mech fluid rising.

Skywarp peeked out behind one of Starscream's hitched wings, raised like the fur on an enraged cat's back. "Don't forget his wings," he added with a chipper grin. He pinched the upturned corners, causing Starscream to quiver. "He's especially sensitive here."

Axedent wasn't watching, but he could see everything. Slag his overactive cerebral processor...!

"Death!" Starscream exclaimed, biting into his bottom lip component as Skywarp continued to taunt his wing, and Thundercracker his torso turbines. Oh, man, this wasn't suppose to feel good! "Sweet, slow and painful _death_!"

Thundercracker and Skywarp now had themselves wrapped like a second skin around their superior. "All this goofing off and reminiscing has put me in a feisty mood!" Skywarp giggled, running his leg up and down the length of Starscream's.

"I'm sure the kid won't mind if we just act out the entire play," Thundercracker suggested, cheek to cheek with his furious commander. "Hey, it'll be like Interfacing Education!"

"NO!" both Starscream and Axedent cried shrilly. Starscream flailed and squirmed and writhed. "Slag you leeches! Get the Pit off me so I can burn you both to crisps!" he frothed.

Skywarp wibbled. "Bwaaa, you're no fuuun-"

"Freeze, Deceptiscum!"

Axedent dropped the cube in his hands, all the energon pouring out onto the pavement. Skywarp and Thundercracker stopped groping and rubbing against Starscream. Starscream's optics dimmed as he sighed. "... Oh, what _perfect_ timing..."

The four Decepticons looked back to see a throng of bewildered Autobots a few yards away. Optimus, Prowl and Jazz were just as surprised and shocked as their enemies. Prowl's jaw was dropped, Jazz reeled back in terror and Optimus... Well, it was hard to know what the hell he looked like when expressing various emotions.

For an entire minute, all the Decepticons and Autobots did was stare at one another. Specifically at the position the three Seekers were in. Finally, with an enraged snarl, Starscream managed to throw his comrades off of him. "Can this orn get _any worse_!" he cried before shooting his null ray at the Autobots. They woke from their daze just in time to scatter and avoid the blow.

"You... You Decepticons won't be... stealing any energon today! Or... or whatever you were doing!" Prowl swallowed, his processors still trying to delete the image from earlier. He rose his gun and shot at Starscream.

Starscream jumped back, the ray hitting the ground. "Stealing energon!" he screeched. "That's _all_ we were doing!" He fired his rays at both Prowl and Optimus.

Jazz rolled away from one of Thundercracker's lasers. "Sure didn't look like no energon stealin' I seen before," he smirked. He crouched to one knee and shot three times at Thundercracker. One shot hit the Seeker, sending him sprawling backwards and onto his aft. "'Less you baddies were tryin' to extract energon from _one another_!" the Autobot teased.

Prowl was so surprised by his comment and the mental image it conjured, his dead perfect aim to Skywarp's chest missed by an inch. "Don't even think of such... such _horrible_ things!" he gagged.

Skywarp shot Prowl in the shoulder while he was distracted with disgust. "Hey, don't go knockin' it until you've tried it!" the purple Seeker exclaimed. He grinned wryly. "Maybe if you weren't some Autoloser, I'd show you firsthand!"

"Thanks," Prowl grumbled, raising his gun, "but _Pit no_." He then shot at Skywarp, but alas, missed.

Starscream ran over to Axedent, occasionally turning around to fire shots. "You continue filling the energon cubes!" he relegated.

Axedent stood. "But, I want to help-"

"You'd be friable on the field! I can tell, believe me!" Starscream hissed. He shoved an empty cube against his creation's chest. "Do as you're commanded or I'll be firing on you next!" he ordered before running back into battle.

Axedent took the cube, pursed his lips into a pout and reluctantly went back to work.

"I bet they're just envious of us, 'Warp!" Thundercracker cackled, ducking behind an engine. He peeked out to fire a few shots. "Probably still a coupla untappeds, know what I mean!"

Skywarp bellowed with laughter. "No wonder they're so uptight!" he shouted. His giggling was cut short from Jazz's foot connecting with his jaw.

"Where is Megatron, Starscream!" Optimus demanded. He used his arm to shield a blow from Thundercracker before shooting his cannon at him twice. The first hit missed but the second nicked 'Cracker in the knee.

"That lazy fool isn't here!" Starscream retorted with cupidity. He rose his left null ray to Optimus. "I'm the leader now, so you're going to have to fight me! If you feel you're not up to par, you're most welcome to turn and retreat like you Autobots so fondly do!"

Jazz threw his head back with loud laughter. "Look who's talkin'!" Skywarp leapt at him, the two falling over in a scuffle.

Prowl and Thundercracker were locked hand to hand. "This is a small hit," the growling Autobot exclaimed, "Megatron wouldn't bother wasting his time here! So of course Starscream would be leader!"

"I'll make you eat those words _and_ my fist, you slagging piece of trash!" Starscream snapped.

Optimus ran at the occupied Seeker. "No you don't, Starscream," he stated, "your fight's with me, remember!" He then dove head first into Starscream's stomach, sending the shrieking creature onto the ground, the larger Autobot pinning him down.

Skywarp managed to throw Jazz aside. "Hey, 'Dent!" he sniggered, "check out your ma's position right now! Totally the same one as our little get together that one time!"

Axedent couldn't help but look back and whimper when he did.

"You'll die tonight, Skywarp!" Starscream howled, pushing one hand to Optimus's face, the other struggling to wiggle out from the Autobot leader's tight grasp.

Jazz was back on his feet and, a second later, on top of Skywarp. "Who's that new 'Con anyhow!" he demanded, shaking the Seeker by his shoulders.

Skywarp threw Jazz on his back, rolling on top of him. "Starscream's little sparkling boy!" he answered, recoiling a fist.

"Who'd reproduce with him of all Transformers!" Prowl mused, throwing Thundercracker in a suplex.

Jazz blocked Skywarp's descending fist. "Someone desperate I betcha!" the Autobot sniggered.

Starscream kneed Optimus in his groin, forcing the Autobot to fall back on his knees. "These idiots are lying! And for your information-!" The Seeker stood and round kicked Optimus in the face. "_Many_ Transformers, Autoscum and Decepticon alike have, would and want to interface with me!"

Optimus grabbed Starscream's leg before it could pull back. "I feel sorry for whomever it was," he stated ever so calmly before throwing Starscream over his shoulder. The Seeker hit the ground face first, doing a flip over onto his back with a steel crunching groan.

"You're just saying that..." Starscream coughed. "Because you can't have _any_ of this..."

"I'll give Megatron your condolences!" Skywarp exclaimed, shooting Jazz in the shoulder.

Prowl gaped as he shoved his heel in Thundercracker's side. "_Megatron_! Are you _pulling my wires_!" he gasped. Then gasped again when Thundercracker shot him in the stomach.

"Yes!" Starscream insisted, crawling on hands and knees. "I would never do such intimate things with him! Even if he were the last Decepticon, Autobot or Transformer on Cybertron, Earth or any other planet for that matter!"

Optimus advanced on him, cannon raised. "I always believed interfacing was between the people you loved," he wondered, "I never would have imagined you two were..."

"_Love_!" Starscream cackled. He flipped on his back, rose his arms and shot lasers at the Autobot leader. "I could never love such a vile waste of spark and energon!"

Jazz and Thundercracker were toe to toe. "This is just as twisted and outrageous as _As The Kitchen Sinks_, man!" he laughed. "I can't help but wonder what ole Megs's like in bed..."

"_Jazz_!" Prowl seethed, prying Skywarp's hands from his throat. "_For the love of Primus, shut UP_...!"

Optimus picked Starscream up and rose him above his head. "In any case..." he grunted.

"Oh, not this...!" the Air Commander growled, flailing.

Optimus threw Starscream down hard. "It's none of our business!" he stated.

"Still! What an abusive relationship!"

"Yeah! And the results aren't that pretty either!"

Axedent scowled as he finished filling the final cube. "You act as if I'm not even here, you insensitive jerkheads..." he grumbled lowly to himself. He placed the final cube on a stack of nine others. "It's done! I got 'em all tapped!" he exclaimed.

Instead of waiting for his companions to come to him, Axedent looked to his cannon/null ray fusion on his shoulder and ran forward. He was going to shoot someone, dammit, and no one was going to stop him! "I'll help, guys, you go load up the energon!" he shouted magniloquently. He instantly made his way to Optimus; he was obviously the most important, the most powerful. So whatever put the crazy idea he could take him on in his mind was obviously stupid.

"Axedent!" Starscream barked, shoving Optimus aside. "Get out of here! You're a liability!"

"Axedent, huh? Like 'Accident'?" Prowl chuckled, shooting Thundercracker into an engine. He turned and rose his gun to the little Decepticon. "I guess it's fitting!"

Axedent quickly turned and shot his weapon, both his shot and Prowl's colliding and exploding in a cloud of light. "Don't take me so lightly, Autobot!" he declared, stomping a foot forward, pushing out his chest and striking a pose. "I am a formidable opponent! I'll make all you lamers totally shit bricks!" He turned his sharp, threatening glare to the sky. "I eat Autobots for breakfast and right now I'm very hungry! The heat is on! I love the smell of naplam in the morning!"

Everyone stopped fighting to eye the Decepticon.

"What is he..." Prowl grumbled.

"Pit if I know," Skywarp murmured.

Axedent turned his attention to Optimus. "What's happenin', hot stuff? Me? I feel the need, the need for speed!" he cackled loudly.

Jazz rubbed the back of his head. "Should we, like, shoot at 'im?"

Prowl shrugged.

Axedent rose his cannon. "Say hello..." A big grin spread across his face. "... To my little friend!" he shouted wildly before pulling the trigger. Out from the barrel a pathetic sparkle of light was released, dying shortly after it was shot, barely ten inches away from the barrel. Axedent's optics made blinking motions. "That... wasn't supposed..."

"Back off, kid!" Prowl snapped, shooting the gun from Axedent's hands. "You're in way over your head!"

Axedent jumped and shook his hands. "Y-You shut your mouth!" he snarled, struggling to keep his cool. He pointed a finger at Prowl, everyone else lost in confusion, left harmless to stare. "You mess with the horns, 'bot, and you get the bull!" he threatened before running at Prowl, fists raised. These guns should work just fine!

"What the-!" Prowl took a step back.

"Red Rover, Red Rover," Axedent growled, nearing the Autobot, one fist recoiled for a punch, "send _Axedent right over_!"

A second later, Axedent leapt into the air and was now flying down at Prowl's face. Prowl reached up, grabbed his fist, twisted his arm around his back; the Autobot shoved him face down on the ground. Axedent laid there fore an astrosecond in complete silence until Skywarp released a high pitched 'har.'

Starscream slapped a hand to his forehead. "For Unicron's sake..."

"I... I ain't down and out, yet..." Axedent groaned pertinaciously, struggling onto his elbows. He couldn't let this be the end. This couldn't be his defeat. It was too pathetic, and he was much too driven to prove his strength. The way Skywarp, Thundercracker and even _Jazz_ were laughing at him, the way Starscream and Optimus could only _stare_ and the pitiful look on Prowl's face only made this desire to win and be victorious stronger.

"Ss..." Axedent grumbled, wiping off the side of his mouth. Prowl tilted his head. "Strike f-first... strike hard... show... no mercy..." With a grunt, he then mustered all his strength and pounced into the air, much like a cat, at Prowl, shouting, "_TO THE WINCH, WENCH_!"

Prowl merely needed to extend his arms, grab the Decepticon by the hips and, with simple ease, throw him nearly two yards away. Axedent tumbled and rolled across the gravel like a snow ball down a hill. "You really must be a neophyte when it comes to battling..." the Autobot sighed, dusting off his hands.

Starscream almost felt he needed to _apologize_ to Optimus for all the embarrassment his creation had caused. "You disappoint me again, Axedent!" the Seeker growled. For a second, he thought he suddenly understood all the pain he put Megatron thro-oh haha yeah _right_.

Axedent bubbled mindless words as he sat up, his face sporting a variety of superficial cuts. "You... you jus' got lucky, s'all..." he mumbled, not quite sure what he was saying. Nonetheless, that drive to continue fighting, to face his enemies and his mistakes, kept him fueled and moving. He swayed back to his feet, continuing to rock back and forth as his optics dimmed on and off. "Gonna make this'a... beat down-o-... o-rama..."

The little Decepticon remembered, doing studies on both Cybertron, Earth and each and every Decepticon, that his "ma" could shoot lasers from his fingers. Perhaps if his weaponry system... Well, since his cannon was pathetic and he couldn't stand one astrosecond in a fist fight, Axedent had no choice but to give it a try. It was, sadly, his last resort.

"Eat... lead..." Axedent grumbled, dazed. He slowly rose and pointed a finger at Prowl, who wasn't even looking at or paying him any mind.

Skywarp walked over to Axedent, taking him by the shoulder. "Stoppit, kid, you're embarrassing us..." he growled, ashamed, as he turned Axedent around to face him.

Axedent, half his system insenated and in the process of shutting down for repairs, activated his weaponry just as he went face to face with the purple Seeker. "... Motherfucker," the little Decepticon finished his quote, igniting his finger-laser's core trigger.

What would happen next shocked the entire existence of every Transformer on the field. Where his flying, his gun and his fists failed, his finger-laser made up tenfold. The moment he activated his last weapon, a laser of such strength and magnitude blew from his digit and hit Skywarp so hard, it sent him sprawling fifty feet into the sky. His scream and the massive amount of power Axedent produced snapped him from his daze immediately in shock and awe.

"Holy-!" Starscream, Thundercracker, Jazz and Prowl all squealed in shocked unison, their optics following Skywarp into the air and down to the ground where he came to a loud crash.

"'Warp!" Thundercracker gasped, flying to his friend's aide. He recoiled in horror at the sight. Skywarp had hit the ground so hard, he had left a rather large, smoky dent. The glass on his cock pit had shattered completely, and a hole just below his spark revealed inner, intricate circuits. "Oh, man! Hey, you alive!" the blue Seeker asked, swiping a hand back and forth over Skywarp's face.

Skywarp groaned loudly, but his optics remained offline. "I... I can't feel my legs..." he whimpered. "Oh, Primus, _I can't feel my legs_!"

"Slag!" Thundercracker exclaimed. "Here!" He then kicked Skywarp's right leg, nice and hard.

"Oooo_ooohhhh, slag it_! _That hurt, afthole_!" the wounded Decepticon snarled, his body releasing a pulse of pain. "I... I can't get my optics online! I-I-Oh, Primus, I better not be blind...!"

Jazz shook his head in awe. "So the kid _does_ pack a punch..." he murmured.

Axedent's jaw kept opening and closing, words unable to surface past his lips. He looked at Skywarp, then Thundercracker, then to Starscream. Starscream was currently fanning his face, counting backwards from ten to one.

"I... I didn't..." the little Decepticon murmured, sheepishly walking over to his comrades.

Skywarp's head lashed to and fro. "Who-who's that! That 'Dent!" he demanded. "If it's him-I'm gonna _deactivate the slag_ out of him!" The purple Seeker's hands felt along the rubble. "Where's he at where's he at oh _Primus_ just guide my hands to his _neck_, I'll do the rest...!"

Axedent quickly scampered backwards.

Starscream knew this would be the best time to retreat. Especially when the Autobots were distracted by the sheer amount of stupidity that had just been displayed. "Thundercracker!" he seethed, running three steps forward before reverting into Eagle mode. "Grab Skywarp and retreat!" he ordered.

"Don't let them get away!" Optimus ordered. Instantly, the three Autobots were firing their guns at the Decepticons.

Starscream quickly grabbed Axedent and hoisted him over his back, holding him there with one hand. Axedent didn't know, even as a few shots hit him, he was being used as a shield. Starscream shoved a couple energon cubes in his cockpit, Thundercracker (carrying Skywarp) dodging bullets as he rocked to and fro in the sky, back to base.

"Grab these, idiot! If you're even capable of doing that!" Starscream barked, throwing the wounded Axedent down. He turned and shot his null rays at the Autobots as Axedent quickly, though clumsily, picked up the remaining cubes. Just as he snatched one cube in each arm, he felt clasps on both sides of his head; an instant later, he rose from the ground, screaming as Starscream's hardpoints held onto his head alone.

Optimus lowered his cannon. "Cease fire," he ordered, raising a hand.

Prowl did as he was told, but Jazz laughed and said, "Wait, lemme try something...!" He then cocked his gun and carefully aiming it at the fading Air Commander and his kin, he shot off one last blast.

A second later, the blast hit Axedent dead on and together with the energon cubes and Starscream, Axedent fell six stories down to the ground.

There came a soft 'boom' from the distance, followed by a small cloud of dust and Starscream shrieking in his highest vocals, "_GODDAMMIT_!"

* * *

"My calculations suggested at least nine cubes..."

Starscream wanted to correct Megatron, but given the current situation, it was best to keep his mouth closed. The mighty gray Decepticon paced back and forth in front of Axedent and Starscream. "And you managed to bring back only..." He stopped, counting off his digits. "... Five."

"Correct," Starscream grumbled. He hated feeling so inferior as he did now. "To be fair, I packed and brought back the most..." A puerile reply, but immaturity was nothing new to the Air Commander. His optics narrowed at the smaller Decepticon beside him, who could do nothing more but study the ground.

"Well," Megatron smirked, but was not amused, "you must be very proud of yourself."

Starscream scowled; sarcasm was nothing new to him, either.

Megatron placed his hands to his steel hips and continued pacing to and fro. "I send you on one of the most simplest of missions, to collect just enough energon for an infantile sparkling to carry and you come back with this." He swished a black hand at the five cubes nearby. One had been damaged in the fall from Jazz's blast, half of it emptied. Megatron's hand moved behind him, to Skywarp laying wounded and moaning in a statis pod, Thundercracker worriedly watching over him. "And this."

"Well, we would have gotten away with it," Starscream scowled. He glowered darkly at his son. "If it wasn't for this kid and his pesky attitude!" The Seeker snapped his furious gaze back to Megatron, who made it no secret a dark cloud of violence was hovering above his head. "I _told_ you taking him out with us was a bad idea! But do you ever _listen_ to m-"

Starscream finished his whining with a loud 'clunk' as his back hit the ground. Megatron withdrew his fist, fingers tightening into his palm. A shiver ran down Axedent's backbone infrastructure, knowing sooner or later he'd be eating the floor he was so intensely staring at as well. "Perhaps my only mistake was making _you_ in charge of the operation," the Decepticon leader growled. "Your lack of leadership skills got you into this mess."

The Seeker said nothing, but his mind was screaming with insults. "Tell your son with the brass bearings that," he grumbled.

Megatron approached the little Decepticon. His shadow swallowed him up. "As much as I would like to," he said smoothly, "I can't place all the blame on Starscream." He twirled a wrist at Axedent. "I was informed that you disobeyed a direct command from your superior to retreat with the energon cubes. Rather, you decided to run blindly into battle, getting your diode promptly handed to you. And while your equilibrium chip was recovering from all the damage, you accidentally blew a hole in your compatriot's chestplate. Is this true?"

All of it was true, sadly enough. The critical damage could all be chalked up to Axedent's temerarious behavior. "Affirmative," he murmured lowly. God, he didn't notice just how many cracks were in the floor until now.

Megatron smiled, nodded, placed his hands behind his back. "Wise of you to answer honestly," he flattered kindly. He sounded generally sincere. But his following actions were anything but. Suddenly, that sanguine grin on his face faded, placing with an enraged frown and his mighty big fist lunged forward and decked the Decepticon hard in the center of his faceplate. Axedent was flung backwards, the small of his back hitting the main computer's control panels with a harsh crack. He dropped to his knees, wincing.

"I put you on one little mission! Hardly difficult at all!" Megatron upbraided and stomped over to the young Decepticon. He pulled him up by his tiny wings and rose him above his head. Axedent's optics filled with fluid; oh, Primus, he knew this was going to hurt. _Bad_. "And you go and foil it up!" the Decepticon leader snarled and launched his subordinate clear across the room and into one of the far walls.

Starscream was just thankful he wasn't the one being tossed around.

Thundercracker left his buddy's side and joined the group. "Boss!" he gasped excitedly. "Lemme take care of 'im! For Skywarp's sake!" he pleaded, producing a baseball bat from behind his back.

"I suppose, since Skywarp is currently incapacitated, you would be the second choice. After all, it is much like punishment fitting the cr where the _Pit_ did you get that thing?"

Thundercracker slowly drew the baseball bat back behind him. "Er, well, I sorta just found it..." he answered. "I figured, you know, if our weapons are down, we got something handy to use. I saw some Earth program where these fleshlings were using it to beat the brains out of this one-"

"Whatever, Thundercracker, shut up," Starscream interrupted. He stood, brushing off his legs. "It still stands that due to Axedent's rash behavior, we failed. I think it's best you take my advice and punish him." He dropped a fist in his other open hand. "May I suggest disassembling him and putting him back together incorrectly? An arm for a head would be quite amusing... Or we could just tie weights to to his feet and let him rust in the ocean for ten or maybe twenty cycles."

Axedent made a repined whimper.

Megatron turned up his nose to his second. "All very good suggestions I'll need to keep in mind when handling your insolence later," he replied. Starscream's face drooped with frustration. Then an idea crept into the Decepticon's cranial vault and his grin turned nefarious. It made Axedent grimace. "I know. For your punishment, you'll spend ten cycles in solitary confinement-"

"What!" Starscream irrupted, lurching forward. "Megatron, solitary confinement is too light! Not enough to make this weak brat realize his failures! Why, you should try using my ideas! They're much more harsh and suitable!"

"Shut up, you callow fool!" Megatron chided. "Let me finish before you open your mouth!"

Starscream reluctantly bit back his whines.

Megatron snorted then turned back to the frightened Axedent. "As I said, you will be spending ten cycles in solitary confinement..." he said. With a point, he finished, "-With Shockwave on Cybertron."

Starscream was aghast. "C-Cruel...!"

Axedent didn't know how to react. But it didn't sound like he'd be in for a picnic.

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

A drunk and angsting Shockwave... really. Also, interfacing interruptions, dangerous scheming and Megatron's pretty, pretty flower head.

A/N: Most of all of Axedent's battle cries were quotes from various early 80's movies, save one or two.


	5. Cable Soap Opera

MY CAT: Get off your lazy ass and write a new chapter.

ME: ... You're so wise.

And that's how this chapter was born. Also, this story borrows elements from _Megatron Origin_. Including his pretty, pretty flower head. (It looks like a damn flower, I don't care _what_ you say. Dammit.)

**NOTE**: If the chapter cuts off or gets all wonky at the end, you can blame the website. That and the gods hate me. :'''(

* * *

Chapter 5:

**Cable Soap Opera**

* * *

Axedent didn't know much about Shockwave besides what he downloaded from the mainframe's databanks as well as the few moments the Decepticon flashed on the scene--usually at inappropriate times. What he gathered was Shockwave was an admirable representation of the Decepticon cause as well as the ideal idol for all Decepticons. His loyalty was impressive to both factions; it was hard finding a Decepticon who wouldn't stab you in the back with a laser the first chance he got. Starscream was the finest example of this, but Axedent was pretty sure the others would turn tail if it meant saving their own.

It was unnerving nonetheless. Axedent didn't know if he should be thankful for this punishment or if he wanted some harsh beatings instead. Ten Earth hours on planet Cybertron, however intriguing for a newborn as himself, sounded both dangerous and hectic. Hopefully Shockwave kept things in order, however, and there'd be no real trouble.

Hopefully.

That night, the wind was cold and harsh, nearly bending trees and weeding out smaller plants. Walking through it was no picnic. Starscream had been dispatched to take Axedent to the Space Bridge, the wind ruthlessly beating against his robotic body. Axedent stayed close behind him, using his massive chassis to shield himself from the more stronger gales.

Occasionally, one would manage to whip him in the face and knock him over. He was slowly starting to get used to being blown over, however, so it didn't hurt him much. Axedent just grunted and drew back to his feet, equilibrium chip working overtime, his optics glitching whenever the wind blew directly into his face. His heating system kept him warm, but still, chills managed to surge through his body.

One wind had been hard enough to knock him onto his aft and go rolling back on his head. Starscream stopped, turned and laughed brutally, "How pitifully amusing! Your small stature and your inferior structure have made you easy prey to winds such as these!" He smiled smugly, standing tall, the wind only managing to cause his wings to twitch. "Why, if you were as strong as I, this would be a walk through the park. Instead, you've gained Megatron's inferior genetics, making you not nearly as graceful as I! Ha!"

Starscream then turned around, took a step forward before a tree branch thwacked him hard in the faceplate, sending him falling onto his back.

Axedent resisted the urge to snicker and rather crawled back to his feet then to his creator's side. "Here, sir," he said politely over the howling wind, grabbing onto Starscream's arm.

"Don't touch me!" the Seeker spat and wrenched his limb free, in the process slapping Axedent away and, predictably, back on his diode. "I don't need your help," Starscream grumbled, struggling to hide his embarrassment as he stood again. He glared at the offending bush and promptly shot the tree one, two, three times until the damn thing nearly keeled over on its side. That'd show that bastard tree.

Axedent just got up and waddled after Starscream, hoping Cybertron would be in finer weather, and Shockwave wasn't nearly as mean as his "maternal" creator.

The winds had calmed a notch by the time the Decepticon duo arrived at the Space Bridge. Starscream went to the control panels, fiddling with the numerous plate of buttons. Axedent lingered nearby, not sure what to do. The wind, the thick black clouds in the sky, the streaks of lightning and rolling thunder--it just didn't seem like a very good time to be traveling to space in this weather.

"The Space Bridge is still incomplete. There might be a few bugs," Starscream informed, more so to himself. He pressed a few buttons, activating the Space Bridge for a test. The Bridge hummed lowly then revved into a growl, Axedent watching in awe as a hole yawned open just above the machine. Passing winds were sucked into the hole, and plants and rocks below rose from the ground from the gravitational pull. It seemed to be working per usual... Until, just as two large boulders were a few feet from the entrance of the vortex, they suddenly exploded into dust and chunks of pebbles.

"Oh, _God_!" Axedent gasped, terrified.

Starscream stared at the hole for another klik, watched the brown debris clear. "... It'll work fine," he insisted a nanosecond later, once more preparing the Space Bridge for another go.

Axedent gave him a horrified look. "B-Bu--"

"You'll be taking these with you," Starscream interjected, producing condensed energon cubes from his cockpit. They were four of the cubes the Seekers tapped from the power plant that evening. Starscream tossed one box to Axedent, who caught it; however, Starscream just kept throwing without waiting for the younger Decepticon to catch up. In the end, he fumbled around, missed catching two and caught the third, so to speak, with his head.

Axedent piled the four cubes in his arms. "D-Don't you think we should wait until m-maybe another orn t-to do this? I-I mean, the w-weather's bad and-and the t-test wasn't exactly s-successful," he whined, his knees locked.

Starscream activated the Space Bridge for another go. "Can't hear your blubbering over all the noise," he shouted, marching up to the little Decepticon's side. The door to the Bridge opened and instantly, Starscream rose his foot and kicked Axedent inside the ring. Axedent fell over with an oomph, three of the four energon cubes spilling from his hands and into the dirt, littered with chunks of the two previous boulders.

"Report to Megatron the moment you arrive," the Air Commander ordered, returning to the controls, "he will want to know if his precious energon cubes arrived there safely."

Axedent groaned as he rose from the ground, the painting on his knees chipped. He squeaked and jumped when the door behind him suddenly slid closed, echoed alongside a grunt of thunder. "W-Will do," he replied, nodding. His entire body was shaking and locking up. "I-I-If I even make it th-th-there alive..." he swallowed, wibbling.

Starscream typed at the control panel. "Some say their first experience riding through a Space Bridge causes their systems to temporarily malfunction," he explained. He pressed a giant red button and finished simply, "... Or explode."

Axedent's jaw unhinged with a rusty creak. "Oh _Primus_, oh _Unicron_, oh _God_," he whimpered, crossing one set of fingers and mentally praying to whatever deity would be kind enough to listen to him. "If you let me survive this trip, I promise to donate all my parts to charity when I'm deactivated..."

"Enjoy your trip," Starscream sniggered, and once more, the hole in the sky appeared, black and daunting above Axedent's head. The Seeker saluted his "son." "If the Space Bridge doesn't numb your cerebral's sensory, Shockwave surely will," he cackled and as he withdrew his hand from his face, the hole began to suck up the matter around it.

Slowly Axedent rose from the ground, curling tightly into a ball and feeling all his wires tremble beneath his plating. As he floated upward, closer to the hole, the energon cubes bobbed up beside him like purple bubbles, and for a moment, Axedent felt at peace, felt as if everything would be okay.

Alas, ten seconds later, a rather large boulder rocketed towards him, sending him spiraling back into a tumble in the air as it soared to its destination into the gap. Luckily, it had not exploded and luckily, it only left a few minor scratches to his back when it so rudely shoved past Axedent.

That would have been the worst of it all, but for a final farewell, a lone bolt of lightning struck Axedent square in the back, sending him into the gaping time and space hole with a loud, painful scream and wail for someone to save him.

* * *

Starscream was right about the first trip through space. Though it was only a matter of nanoseconds before Axedent found himself teleported into the unloading machine on Cybertron, the pressure had squeezed energon from his abdomen's energy processors, causing him to expel it the moment he bellyflopped against the mound of boulders and rocks that had traveled with him. But looking on the sunny side of things: at least the boulders hadn't landed on _him_.

It was dark in the elevator-like structure and Axedent groaned as he slowly sat himself up, limbs trembling. The shaking proved too much for his right arm, causing it to slip and ultimately send him tumbling down the hill of rocks. It was a short little fall and Axedent landed in a wedge between the rocks and the doors. He couldn't help but sigh with relief.

Suddenly, the massive doors slid open with a loud hissing noise, removing one side that kept Axedent supported against the rocks. "Not good," he gulped before continuing his descent into the ground. This time around, he would hit first and, seconds later, the rocks poured out and piled on top of him.

Shockwave approached the rubble, his laser hand giving his face a stroke. "Hmm," he muttered, displeased, "I really do wish Megatron would choose a better location for the Space Bridges. Cleaning up these messes is getting awfully frustrating."

With a loud growl, Axedent shot out his hand from beneath all the boulders and, without bothering to help at all, Shockwave watched him silently as he slowly dug and crawled out from the mound. Axedent made heaving noises, a large dent in his back, the twisting pressure still present in his abdomen sector. Shockwave just continued to observe the display quietly until Axedent was completely free, laying stretched out on the ground, splotched with dirt and scratches.

"Get up, soldier," Shockwave ordered before Axedent could properly recuperate. His voice had rose a pitch, but still remained controlled, cool and collected. "This is a pathetic sight."

Axedent just swayed to his feet, pain still rushing through his system. Once he was up straight, he realized he wasn't looking at Shockwave, but rather the rock filled elevator.

"Fix yourself, Decepticon child!"

Axedent then realized--his head was on backwards. With a sheepish smile he slowly twisted it back on right, clearly hearing something snap in his neck wiring. Oh, well, if it didn't hurt or cause any type of damage, it wasn't important. Now Axedent was looking up at Shockwave, standing so regal, proud and tall, just as his profile suggested.

"I am Shockwave, Guardian of Cybertron," Shockwave declared, placing his gun hand to his chestplate. "And you are the blasphemous spawn of forbidden science known as Axedent, sent here as punishment by the Mighty Megatron."

Axedent scowled to himself. "Yes, sir."

"Well then, Axedent, for the next ten cycles, you will obey every command I issue and every word I say," Shockwave stated firmly, "do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," the little Decepticon agreed, saluting.

Shockwave nodded. "Good. Where are the energon cubes Megatron sent with you?" he inquired, looking over Axedent's head at the clutter of rocks and dirt.

Axedent's optics blinked. "Oh, uh, yes, let me get them for you, sir!" he replied, quickly turning to the mess. He bit into his bottom lip component. He couldn't see a single cube anywhere. "They must be buried beneath the rubble," he explained, looking back to the tall purple Decepticon.

"Well then retrieve them!" Shockwave snapped.

Axedent nodded and, rubbing up his arms as if he would pull sleeves up, dove into the ocean of rocks. Shockwave watched as the small creature wiggled through the rocks, pushed them aside, looked beneath them. It felt like hours, though it had only been a minute, since Axedent first started his search. But nothing was turning up. Not until another klik later when Axedent, optics narrowing and teeth grit in both fear and fury, saw that the cubes had been squashed beneath all the weight of the boulders, a large puddle of energon being all that was left of them.

_Oh, spank my aft and call me Sallybot_, Axedent internally cursed. This wasn't good. This wasn't good _at all_. But just before he could announce the loss of the cubes to Shockwave, he spotted one cube left intact nearby. With a large smile on his faceplate, Axedent grabbed it and shuffled out from between the rocks.

Even though he knew this little cube could barely fuel a fan, he had to have hope. Axedent then scuttled back up to Shockwave and held up the cube. Now he could see just how small the cube was up to Shockwave's size and his hopeful little grin turned bashful and ashamed. He couldn't even look Shockwave in his bulb.

Shockwave didn't say a word, not right away. He stared at the cube, as if it were suddenly going to do tricks. Or as if this were some sort of sick joke. "This... is all the energon you brought?" he asked quietly, taking the cube from Axedent's smaller hands.

"Well, the... other cubes... they were destroyed from the avalanche there," Axedent answered, nodding back to the boulders. Somehow he knew this wouldn't help his--Oh and it didn't, because Shockwave threw the cube at his head, causing something inside to dislodge itself. "... Sorry."

"Youths today! So reckless and careless!" Shockwave spat. He shoved the barrel of his gun hand against Axedent's chest, causing him to flinch. "What good are you to Lord Megatron if you can't even collect proper amounts of energon!? What good are you to me, in fact!?" The bulb on his face lit up and he muttered worriedly, "C-Could it be he just wanted to unload his problem on to _me_...? No, no, I just have to believe he sent you here for proper lessons, yes, that has to be it, Honest Megatron would never, ever do that to me, his most loyal soldier, no, not at all..."

Axedent felt very uncomfortable.

Shockwave then stood up straight, clearing his throat or something like it. "Regardless, as long as you are under my authority, I will have you--"

"Yo, lamphead!"

Shockwave scowled when the massive screen behind him suddenly switched on, revealing the face of another Decepticon. She was female by the large breast plating on her orange chest, slim oval sunny face, thick and full ruby lips and, oddly enough, a wig of synthetic blonde hair, long pink nails and what appeared to be fake eyelashes above her red optics. The purple Decepticon insignia was pressed just below her neck.

"How many times," Shockwave grumbled and turned to face the femme, "have I told you not to refer to me as 'lamphead'?"

The femme just eyed her nails. "Yeah, whatev'," she snorted, her vocals surprisingly low, "when's like that help you were sayin' like gonna get here?"

"He's here now," Shockwave replied. He stepped aside, showing Axedent to the female Decepticon.

The fembot leaned closer to the screen, lips pursed and optics widened. "Oooh, like look at _him_," she purred. Axedent slipped on a crooked smile. The girl's lips then went flat and her optics narrowed. "Ain't cute like at all," she snorted, then went back to scanning her nails. Axedent's smile disappeared.

Shockwave gestured at the screen. "This Decepticon novice is Axedent," he introduced, "and this is Vision--"

"Who!?" the femme spat. She took a metal filer to her nails. "Ain't no one here like named 'Vision.' I think you're like gettin' yer officers mixed up er like somethin', Shocky."

Shockwave took a deep breath--of nothing, of course. "We are not going to play this game--"

"Ain't no Vision heeere," the femme insisted and looked aside.

Shockwave was one klik from punching the screen, though he knew it wouldn't hit her. "Have it your way," he scowled, "this is Vision_na_."

The femmebot grinned. "Like, now we talkin'," she giggled. "I'd say nice ta meetcha kid, but like I dunno if I'll regret sayin' that in the end."

Axedent was surprised the moment he saw this Visionna. "There are still females around on Cybertron?" he inquired, awed. "The information I gathered said they were all extinct."

"They _are_," Shockwave insisted and his tone of voice made Visionna's face twist angrily, "Visionna, or _Vision_ here is actually male. He just dresses up and _pretends_ to be a femme."

Visionna shoved her filer into the camera. "Pssh, you don't like know me! I'm more of a female than like any of them dead femmes ever were!" she stated. She wagged a finger at Axedent. "Lookit me, kid, like, don't I look like the perfect femme? C'mon, this slag wasn't cheap!" Visionna cupped her metal chest mounds. "Tell that like insensitive male I'm like the best femme he'll _ever_ like meet!"

Axedent looked from her to Shockwave. "Uhhh..."

Shockwave took the reigns. "Lip component injections, customized chest plating, synthetic facial and helmet hair, that's all it is," he stated coolly. "Nothing more, nothing less."

Visionna's red optics glowed angrily. "Oh, like don't go there, mech..." she hissed lowly.

Shockwave turned back to the screen. "I do believe I all ready went there, fem--slaggit!" he cursed, balling his hand into a fist.

"Haha! Like, gotcha!" Visionna cackled. A sly grin crossed her faceplate. "But admittedly, I'm more of a mech than like you'll ever be, Shocky."

"That's quite inappropriate, _Vision_!" Shockwave snapped, slamming his fist on the keyboard. "If you continue to display disrespect to your superior, I will be forced to take serious--"

Visionna threw up her hands. "Oh, I'm like _soooo_ scared!" she exclaimed, rocking them back and forth.

Shockwave pointed at her. "Listen you," he growled, "if you don't silence your vocals right now, I will come down there, grab you by your synth-weave and slap you around like your old Decepticon officer did before I recruited you."

Visionna's face contorted back into disgust again. "Fine, like whatev', I don't care," she growled and filed her nails down to near nubs with her fury.

Shockwave was smiling at sweet defeat--somewhere in there. "Now, back to business," he stated, turning to Axedent, who wasn't even sure what had just happened, "Vision and a few other Decepticons are currently working on reconstructing a section of the Decepticon headquarters. Since Glorious Megatron has employed the Constructions on Earth, we need all the help we can get. So for the next nine cycles, you will be helping to repair the base's sector 4 wing under both my command and your field officer, Vision's."

Visionna rose a hand and flicked her fingers at Axedent. "I don't need like no slacker or idiot who can't like do nuttin' runnin' around while we're like working," she explained, "so like you best work your aft off or I'm gonna like tear it off, ya comprehend?"

"Yes, si-ma'am," Axedent swallowed, saluting.

Well, so much for expecting a quiet night of sitting in the corner.

* * *

After orders were set up, Shockwave contacted Megatron regarding Axedent's arrival and the tragic deaths of the energon cubes. Infuriated, Axedent ended up with another cycle under his belt until he could return back to Earth. He hoped, however, that when he did come back home, he wasn't going to get a brutal beating on top of it all.

Shockwave gave Axedent the coordinates to the construction site then sent him off. Axedent would have loved to explore Cybertron, despite how run down and dilapidated it looked. To know the roots of his ancestors was deeply intriguing, but alas, all he could do was take in the sights of the town he passed before arriving, very shortly, to join Visionna and her work.

There were twenty reprogrammed Decepticon droids hustling about, attending to the run down building of the Cybertronian Decepticon base. Visionna greeted him with an eyeballing then gave him his orders. Axedent half expected her to be the type who sat off in the corner, away from all the ruckus, smoking some sort of Cybertron cigarette, filing her metal nails, reading the daily data pad, barking orders left and right while doing zilch herself.

But the "femme" proved otherwise and was just as active, still issuing commands while hauling heavier equipment and even welding things into place. Though it was an odd sight to see: Visionna carrying at least two tons of metal on her back in her high stiletto feet.

For ten hours, Axedent dragged, carried, threw and lifted various bits of scrap and rafters, climbing up and down the side of the renovated building and helping to screw or weld pieces in. It was a lot of hard work and Axedent, if he had pores, would have been sweating buckets. Not to mention, both Visionna and the droids were extreme perfectionists when it came to how things were put and placed.

Axedent had finished hammering in a plank of metal into the wall when Visionna appeared behind him, cocked her head to the side then shoved the ten inch long heel of her foot into his lower back. "Like, you call that straight, boy!?" she snapped. Whipping out a strand of measuring tape from a wrist compartment, she lined the top two bolts together to show the little Decepticon the centimeter of lopsidedness. Carelessly, she slapped him on the shoulder with his hammer and forced him to remove the plating and make it straight.

The droids were a lot less violent. When they didn't like how Axedent was doing things, they quietly approached him, slapped whatever was in his hands out then tended to the issue themselves. If they didn't like something Axedent had repaired, they shooed him away or waited until he moved aside to remove it and fix it themselves. It was getting to the point where Axedent didn't even think he was properly qualified to even do the simplest repairs, since everyone was so slagging anal about it.

Axedent didn't know if he felt more useless on Earth or Cybertron.

There was a short break, consisting of half a cycle. Most of the droids continued their work, effortlessly welding and building away, as they were programmed to do. One or two of them, older models, sat aside for a little bit, stocking up on energon or fine tuning certain bolts in their body before going back to work. Visionna lounged back in her chair (furnished with pink dyed petrorabbit fur), swigging down a glass of crude energon and taking out some old trashy gossip pad to read. This was the image Axedent expected of her.

Returning to work, Axedent was furiously pounding away at a sheet of metal with his hammer, the screws refusing to pierce even the surface. He didn't notice the slim shadow fall over him, too distracted by his furious work.

"Hey!" Visionna snapped and it cause Axedent to jump, accidentally striking his thumb with the hammer. Considering how hard he had been hitting the metal, it not only made him squeal but brought coolant to his optics and he couldn't help but curl up a little and choke back a sob.

Visionna rolled her optics. "Like, get over it, pansy," she snorted. Axedent nodded, coddling his throbbing thumb. The "femme" twirled a strand of synthetic blonde hair around her finger and looked over her clipboard. "All right, Shocky called and, like, he wantscha to pick up this shipment like right now before returnin' back to work, ya hear?" she commanded.

Axedent nodded and took the clipboard from her slowly. Directions on it led him to a docking bay, where most of the ships were long gone or destroyed, left haunted and dead, tethered to their posts. There was a giant metal box stamped with Shockwave's name on the side, and Axedent groaned, knowing it would be he alone who dragged that slagging thing back to his superior's office.

It took a good twenty kilks before he delivered the giant crate to Shockwave. It was embarrassing going through town dragging that box behind him with only an extension cord to help. Luckily there were barely any souls around to see, but directions stated he had to bring the package back manually, without assistance of either an extra pair of hands or a hover machine. Well, he was being punished, after all.

Shockwave did not acknowledge nor commend his strength and vigor when he arrived. He just went to the crate, his one set of fingers wiggling. "Ah, it's finally arrived, after nearly a deca-cycle of long waiting," he purred. Using his laser, he blew open the package and Axedent gaped when he saw it was filled to the brim with bottles of fine grade energon liquor.

The purple Decepticon removed one bottle and turned it around in his hand. "Ah, yes, this is the real stuff. Not cheap, no, not at all, but definitely worth it," he said to himself. Shockwave placed the bottle back with the others then finally turned his attention at the aching, sore Decepticon in the corner. "Right, now, return back to work! Report back here in one cycle!" he ordered.

Axedent nodded weakly. Two more hours, just two more hours...

* * *

Just two kliks before Axedent's time was up, Visionna discharged him from work and sent him on his merry, weak, sore way back to Shockwave. Axedent didn't know if he should be thankful or not, as this seemed to be with all the Decepticon orders he received. He was just now starting to get along with the droids and managing to pull off a good job. But now... What would Shockwave want from him for a cycle?

Axedent returned to Shockwave's lair five kliks later, rolling his shoulders and head in their sockets, hearing various things crack, snap and "fzzt" back into place. He knew he was going to be sore tomorrow, even after he was all recharged. If he ever _got_ to recharge, that was. Nonetheless, he punched the code in on the wall, the doors to Shockwave's control room sliding open.

"I'm back, sir," the little Decepticon said quietly, entering the room with his backbone infrastructure straight. His optics blinked when he didn't see Shockwave perched in his usual spot by the main screen.

"Well, whoop_y_."

Axedent stretched out his head, took a few steps forward then jumped back in surprise. Shockwave was sitting on the ground, head dropped back against the wall, legs spread eagle, not looking as regal and threatening as he was the first time Axedent met him face to face. Littered around him were empty and half-empty bottles of the energon wine, his single hand wound tightly around another.

"S-Sir," Axedent swallowed, daring to move forward, "a-are you all right?"

"Pfffttt," Shockwave replied, his bulb blinking back on. He tilted the neck of the bottle back into his face, right beneath that bulb of his, chugging it down loudly. Axedent didn't know how, as he had no visible mouth, but nothing was falling out, so perhaps he did have one somewhere back there. "Does it--does it _look_," he paused, swishing his laser hand over him, "like I'm doing _all right_?"

Axedent didn't know how to respond. The guy was obviously trashed. "Do... you need me... to do--"

"Ah, you know, we go back a long time," Shockwave interrupted. Axedent quietly watched him take another drink of his energon. "Lord Megatron, that is," the elder Decepticon finished. "I was one of the first soldiers enlisted into his army shortly after he overthrew Kaon and Sentinel Prime. That was, that..." Shockwave rubbed the top of his head. "Vector Sigma, _megacycles_, how long it's been..."

Axedent kept his distance. "Oh, really? I see."

Shockwave shook his bottle at him. "_MEGACYCLES_!" he shrieked.

"I-I see."

"I was three soldiers down from his side when we did our first rush on the Autobots," Shockwave informed. Another long drink. "Watching him in battle? 'Sssss'so..." His bulb dimmed as his processors searched for the proper word. He then lit up again, spread his fingers and breathed in awe, "... _Overloadic_."

Axedent's grin twitched. "That," he swallowed, "that's nice..."

Shockwave slowly shook his head. "It's been too long since we last fought together on the battlefield. Much too long indeed," he sighed. He stared at his bottle for a klik then took a drink. "I was always with him, wherever he went. Loyal to his commands, to his orders." He rose three fingers, counting them off as he said, "I had three main missions back in those days, be-before I became Cybertron's Guardian... Destroy the Autobots, increase the forces and power of the Decepticons and..." he trailed off, staring at his now lone, one finger. "... To protect and serve O Powerful Megatron with all my spark and soul," he finished with a melancholic mumble.

"You're doing--did those all very well," Axedent assured.

"Oh, what do _you_ know!?" Shockwave snapped, throwing a bottle at the little Decepticon. The latter managed to dodge it, since Shockwave seemed to have an even worse aim when inebriated. "You know _nothing_! Nothing of the war, nothing of the many victories and few loses we Decepticons made, nothing of the glory and the suffering we went through! You can download all the history you want, but in the end, you _still_ know nothing..." he growled then burped.

"I-I suppose--no, you're right, you're right," Axedent replied, quickly changing his answer when Shockwave grabbed at another empty bottle for pitching.

Shockwave dropped his head back again. "Ahhhhhuuhhhhnnnnggghhhh_aaarrgghhh_!" he breathed, growled then snarled before kicking over a bottle, causing it to shatter. "_I_ was so loyal, so helpful, so very much _needed_ to Wonderful Megatron than-than any of the other Decepticons! My assets, my resources, my skills, my powers--all of them perfect for his cause! And yet, sometimes, I wonder if the only reason he left me here to guard Cybertron was because... because..." He stopped and looked to his laser hand, shaking just slightly. "... Because I'm not _superior in berth_!"

Axedent stumbled backwards. "Wait, what?" Had he heard what he thought he just heard?

"It's a _rumor_, a _rumor_!" Shockwave spat. He finished his current bottle then threw it away. It hit something off in the distance that caused something outside to explode but that didn't matter. "I told everyone--told him time and time again--that it was just a rumor spread by my jealous... jealous ex-bondmate!" he scowled, reaching for another bottle.

Axedent checked his internal clock. Shit, he still had half a cycle left.

Shockwave explained dully, "Ten orns before I joined the Decepticon ranks, I was on a business trip for work when I stayed one night to recharge at a seedy hotel in downtown Kaon. There was a young fembot server there, at a time before all the femmes disappeared. Young, nubile, pretty faceplate, she practically had her chest compartment hanging out, begging for a good interfacing by anyone who would give her a passing glance."

Axedent wasn't sure he liked where this was going, but far be it for him to try and interrupt his superior.

"I was never one for silly romance, much less wasting valuable energy on interfacing when I could be applying it to more sufficient, important things," Shockwave continued. Too lazy to remove the cork properly, he blew the top of the bottle off with his laser, then took a nice long swallow. "But my core processor was exhausted from countless cycles of work and negotiations with clients, that when she seduced me over a few glasses of heavy energon, I just couldn't help but bring her back to my quarters and, well..."

The purple Decepticon seemed to tense up until he was shaking. He didn't say anything for a whole two kilks, and Axedent wondered if he should try sneaking back home early. But then Shockwave launched forward, throwing up his bottle, causing purple liquid to erupt from within; he screamed with all the rage rattling in his chest, "It was an _accident_! I didn't mean to blow off half her face!"

Somewhere in Axedent's head, a servo exploded.

Shockwave continue to shake his bottle, ignoring the mess he was making. "I was lost in the throes of interfacing! I was consumed by foolish, foolish lust! I could barely recall even my own designation at the time, I was so swamped with hunger and desire! It wasn't my fault that sometimes, when I get a little too overworked or excited, my hand..." Once more, the Decepticon let his cries trail off and he looked at his laser hand in shame, as if it were the most unclean thing in existence. "... Releases... without... warning..."

Axedent couldn't help but blurt: "Premature overload--"

"No, you miscreant!" Shockwave barked, his bulb near overheating. Half-drunk and half-aware of what he was doing, he shot Axedent in the foot, watching him topple over. "My laser sometimes goes off by itself and it just so happened that her head was next to it at the time and well--!" he snarled before cutting himself short.

Shockwave snatched up his bottle and poured it down; except he was so drunk and so upset, he somehow missed his mouth and all the purple liquor was pouring down into his lap. He didn't seem to notice this, or the fact he hadn't drunk anything, and just sat the bottle aside, leaving the mess where it was.

"So half her head was blown off, but it wasn't my fault! Like I said, it's a glitch, something I was programmed with! Part of the reason my aim tends to be off!" Shockwave defended himself. "She was fine, oh, she was indeed--she was out of commission for a good twenty orns, but she got her head repaired--I even helped pay for the surgery, even some new programs she wanted installed! And yet somehow her wounded pride would not allow the accident go, and thus she went around Cybertron, spreading false rumors that I am no good in berth, I overload early and I also enjoy--where she got such an idea I do not know--oil play!" he blanched, disgusted. "Wh-Who likes oil play!? That's disgusting! Throwing your liquids about like an uncivilized Earth creature!"

Axedent's audio sensors felt like offlining themselves. Forever. "I'm so sorry to hear of your... dilemma, sir," he coughed. How could he respond to something like that? "I hope things, uh, things got cleared up."

Shockwave flicked his laser hand at him and Axedent had even more of a reason to be afraid of it. "Oh, eventually the rumors ceased and stopped circulating," he assured, trying to pick up his bottle. Of course, he was trying with his laser hand, and when he realized he was not going to be able to pick it up with that hand, he instead blew open another bottle.

Shockwave took a swig, managing to get it inside his mouth this time. "Shortly after I heard the first surge of rumors, I went back to her domain and shot her head off--again. All of it this time. And no hope for reactivation," he couldn't help but snigger darkly, with just a hint of shame. "Serves that femme right."

Axedent shifted away from Shockwave. "Well, I'm sure the reason Megatron--"

"_MIGHTY_!" Shockwave belched angrily. "An inferior like you will attach 'Mighty' or 'Lord' to his name when speaking in my presence!"

"... I'm sure the reason _Mighty_ Megatron stationed you here was because he... does think you're really good at what you do, and, I mean, c'mon," Axedent reassured, "being left in charge of an entire planet is a big responsibility. I'd imagine only the really tough guys could pull it off." He lowered his optics and rubbed the back of his neck, mumbling lowly, "Even though from the history I downloaded and from what I've seen, this place has pretty much ran itself into the ground, barely any life left on it..."

Shockwave didn't hear, fortunately. "I suppose you're right. I guess Lovely Megatron wouldn't believe such lies anyway. Besides, I never really confessed my love to him," he sighed, shaking his head and drinking some more. "I mean, I think I know what I'm going to say and so I call him--but then I get cold feet and just change the subject," he explained, and Axedent now understood the reasoning behind his many tedious calls.

The purple Decepticon lounged tiredly against the wall, muttering nonsense to himself, swishing the energon in its bottle. "Sometimes," he said, randomly, "I get transmissions from Earth. Sometimes they just bounce off my satellites, sometimes I pick them up when contacting Lord Megatron, and sometimes I just get random static bits from that worthless planet Junkion. It doesn't happen often, but there was one time..." Shockwave tapped his laser's barrel to his knee. "... One time I heard a song. A human song. It reminded me greatly of my feelings with Wonderful Megatron..."

_Oh, God_. "R-Really?"

"Yes, indeed," Shockwave replied, nodding. He rose his head and looked up to the dome ceiling. "I found it so touching, I scourged all the electronic lines and wave lengths of the planet to find it again. I managed to record it after searching for what felt like orns, and even now, when I am down and about, I listen to it, to cheer me up." His little bulb gave a bashful flicker. "I have the lyrics memorized, infact."

"Oh, well," Axedent tittered, "that's nice, good for--"

Shockwave cleared his throat, took a moment to compose himself then, then sang softly: "'I've been alone with you inside my mind... And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times...'"

Axedent started crawling away.

And Shockwave continued to sing. "'I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello, is it me you're looking for?'" The guardian then swaggered to his feet, using the wall behind him for support. He placed the bottle to his face like a microphone. "'I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile,'" he crooned, raising his voice a pitch, "'You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide. 'Cause you know just what to say, and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much, I love you...'"

Axedent quickly stood and clapped, forcibly and loudly. "Br-bravo! Excellent!" he cheered and applauded. He checked his internal clock again and laughed nervously. "Wow, look at the time, two more kliks and then I'll be--"

"'I long to see the sunlight in your hair--replace with helmet, naturally--and tell you time and time again how much I care...'" Shockwave continued carelessly.

"Yeah, so, let's--"

"'--Sometimes I feel my hear--spark, spark will overflow. And I wonder what you do... Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving--' No, wait, I think I skipped some lyrics... Well, slag, what was--"

Axedent whistled loudly. "Boy, I better get go--"

Shockwave threw up his hands, causing energon to pour from his bottle. "Let's go straight to chorus now!" he exclaimed and he sang with all his might. "'Cause I wonder where you are! And I wonder what you do! Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you!?'" he shouted from the very core of his being.

"_Excellent, sir, but I gotta go now_!" Axedent screeched, no longer caring about being polite. Suddenly, the alarm clock inside his head rung. "Yup! My eleven cycles are up! I've got to get going!" he stated. The little Decepticon ran over to the elevator, climbing clumsily over the boulders. "It was real nice meeting you! I had fun--I-I-I mean I sure learnt my lesson! Haha, hahahaaa!"

"Oh, no you don't, you little rascal," Shockwave smirked and playfully shot at Axedent. Axedent was almost inside the elevator before the blast knocked him back. Humming the song to himself, Shockwave approached Axedent, swaying left and right. He stopped beside the recovering Decepticon and rose his bottle to him. "You know... You look a lot like that twit, Starscream, but..." he purred, reaching out his laser hand and brushing it along Axedent's terrified face. "... I do indeed see a little of Sexually Delicious Megatron in your faceplate..."

Axedent swallowed, shivering. "I-I-I-I-I got to go, now!" he squeaked, scooting away.

"'Hello...'" Shockwave crooned, moving closer. "... 'Is it me you're looking for?'"

Before Axedent could possibly kiss his virginity goodbye, the main screen lit up with Visionna's face. "Yo, lamphead, I like needa take a--WHOA!" she exclaimed, the camera jumping in her hands.

Shockwave went temporarily sober with horror. "V-Vision!" he gasped, whirling around. "Return to your duties! This isn't--"

Axedent took this distraction to punch a button on the Space Bridge, activating it. He jumped inside, running all the way to the back, as far away from the drunk Shockwave as possible. "I'm leaving now! See ya on the flip side!" he exclaimed, quickly shutting the doors.

Axedent turned and bashed his head into the wall repeatedly. "Groudy groudy groudy groudy!"

* * *

"Disgusting."

Starscream snorted, throwing a laser dart at his photo of Megatron on his quarters' wall. He scowled when the dart barely missed his head by an inch. "I'm all sore from today's battle with those slagging Autobots," he growled lowly, cranking his neck to the side. "And for what? Nothing!"

The Air Commander threw another dart at the photo (only to miss again) before marching over to his pod. "A nice long night of recharge is in order. I'm not getting up for anyone or anything. Not even if the slagging base is falling to pieces," he grumbled, opening the glass lid. Just before Starscream went to crawl inside, he glanced around, grinned mischievously then fished a hand beneath his berth.

A second later, Starscream pulled out a holograph magazine titled _Playcons_. It was rare he ever had the time to sit back and enjoy a good porn magazine, but he was sure tonight he'd have all the time in the world.

The Seeker carefully got into his bed, opening the magazine and eyeing the nudes within. However, he had gone out of his way to delicately rearrange certain features of the nude robots. Mainly adjusting their color schemes to his own. If anyone else knew of this magazine's existence and the changes he had so meticulously made, they'd accuse him of being even more of a megalomaniac than they thought. But oh they were wrong; he just liked his colors, that was all.

Just as Starscream got himself comfortable, his doors opened with a loud 'clang.'

"Starscream!" Megatron snarled, stomping inside. He turned his head just in time to see Starscream quickly shove his magazine beneath his bed.

"You know, there's a thing called 'knocking,'" Starscream said, snidely, "that maybe you should invest in practicing."

Megatron just shut the doors behind him. "I would knock if I respect your privacy, and obviously, I don't," he replied. Starscream just pursed his lips together, annoyed. "This afternoon put a great deal of stress on m what is that." The silver Decepticon stopped, turned and pointed at the dart covered photo of himself on the far wall.

"Thundercracker's!" Starscream spat nervously.

Megatron's optics narrowed. "Really? That's not his taste..." he growled.

Starscream grinned crookedly. "Skywarp then?" he chuckled lowly.

"That's more fitting," Megatron agreed, nodding. Needless to say, the next few seconds involved shooting Starscream, Starscream shrieking agony and apologies and Megatron finishing it off with a frustrated huff. "As I was saying--I am in a little need of removing some tension. And since I'm not in the mood to kill things, then you know what comes next," he informed with an evil little smile.

Starscream pushed out his lips again in a pout. "No."

"No?" Megatron's invisible brow was cocked. He chortled, amused. "You think just by saying 'no,' I'll simply turn and leave?" he crooned.

"No," Starscream grumbled, "but perhaps once in your old old old old old life, you'd let me have what I want."

Megatron now laughed with mirth. "Oh, you know sometimes, Starscream, you can be so funny _without_ someone or something shooting at you," he teased before he swaggered dangerously close to Starscream. "But I'm really not in the mood for jokes."

Starscream knew if he tried to run, he'd only end up back where he was now. And even though he hated to admit it, he was waiting for this as well. Damn Megatron and his stupid, sexy body. So the Seeker merely just made disapproving faces, but laid back in his pod, albeit a little stiff. "Why don't you go and bother another one of your lackeys?" He was still going to fight back, naturally.

"Because this lackey makes the most audio pleasing screams and squeals," Megatron answered. His voice was soft, but deep, deadly. He shoved Starscream as far back into his pod until the second's back cracked against the metal. "Besides, I know how _miserable_ it makes you feel..."

"Only because I've had--" Starscream shut up when Megatron's barrel's lips were on his. "... Other... times that... weren't so good..."

The corners of Megatron's smile curled upward. "That's what I like to hear," he purred. He then forced Starscream's legs up, allowing them to fall back down beside him, one hitched up on his shoulders. The Seeker winced, but his system was all ready anticipating what would come next, fans switching on.

"If we _have_ to do this," Starscream grumbled, "you need to put on a silicon plate. A _good_ one!"

"Of course, you bucket of rust," Megatron snorted. He withdrew a small peach colored cube, stretching it out long enough to cover his spark chamber. As he applied it to his chestplate, he snapped, "Try not to rip it and we won't have to deal with another accident."

Something in the back of Starscream's cerebral processor wondered if Axedent would be returning soon. Surely it had been a little over eleven cycles. Oh, well, that wasn't important.

Megatron closed his chamber securely when he was finished. "We're the only one in this sector right now," he stated, unlocking the helmet on his head and removing it. It was rare for him to ever remove it, but it was a breathtaking sight to see him without it. "So let your squeaky little vocals go wild."

Shortly after the battles in Kaon, Megatron rarely ever took off his helmet to reveal the true form beneath; those who saw him without it would never forget it. Starscream didn't want to admit it, but his circuits were pulsing with desire. It always secretly bothered him that Megatron had something of a crown he kept hidden under that bucket. Not only did he not relish in showing it off, but why did _he_ get a crown?

_When I'm Decepticon leader_, Starscream thought as Megatron shifted his weight against him, _I will have a crown. A glorious golden crown full of expensive jewels! And a purple robe, yes! I will look_ so _fabulous!_

For now, things seemed to be shaping up. Tonight Starscream wouldn't get the long recharge he had expected, but he'd surely have fun.

Just as Megatron's hand drifted up to his panel, to the sensitive wiring around and beneath--

"I've returned, sir!"

Starscream and Megatron craned their heads back at the door. Axedent stood there in the open doorway, his jaw hanging. For a minute, the three only stared at one another. Starscream pressed in need beneath Megatron, in his wanton arms, Megatron arched over him like a lion over his kill, his helmet off and left discarded on the floor, Axedent feeling something in his system break.

Axedent was so awed by Megatron's head that he didn't even realize he had blurted his thoughts aloud. "It... it looks like... a flower..." he muttered, slowly raising a pointing finger.

Megatron ground his teeth. "_Axedeeeeeent_!" he screamed.

"Oh," Starscream gasped, knowing that tone well, "you're in deep slag now."

"I-I'm sorry!" Axedent squeaked as Megatron crawled out of the pod. "For-fogive meee!" he cried and quickly turned tail, running for his life.

Axedent didn't stop running, didn't bother to look back, he just kept going and going, apologies flooding uncontrollably from his lips. Finally, he reached the medic bay, opened the doors and ran inside. As soon as the doors shut, he threw himself against them and sighed in relief. He should be safe here...

"Well, well, well. The cat dragged himself in, I see."

Axedent felt a jolt shock his system and, with his optics at the widest, he slowly turned his head back and felt bricks processing.

Skywarp, having just finished his recovery, sat on the edge of the medic table, grinning wolfishly. Thundercracker stood beside him, pounding a fist in one hand. "Say," the blue Seeker mused, "you thinkin' what I'm thinkin' 'Warp?"

Skywarp sniggered and stood, swiping at his chin. "Course, 'Cracker," he smirked, approaching the terrified Decepticon alongside his buddy, "payback time."

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

Skywarp and Thundercracker being bullies, a hairbrained scheme and a possible new alliance with the Autoboobies.

A/N: The song Shockwave is singing is "Hello" by Lionel Richie. Because "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Middler wasn't released until the late 80s, boo.


	6. Mission: Pointless

-dusts away cobwebs- ANYWAAAAY. Hello, darlings! Here's a new chap-taaaar! -finger wiggles- It's actually relatively long, damn. I just wanted to capture at least each Autobot in action, save one or two. So, uh, try not to get too bored.

This chapter features very mild robot lovin'. Between Ironhide and Ratchet, actually. There's also hints of Mirage/Hound/Mirage.

Also: Ironhide may be old, but that bastard's kinky and you know it. But do remember in this story, everyone is out of their cerebal processors.

* * *

Chapter 6:

**Mission: Pointless**

* * *

The only thing that Axedent could think of as Skywarp's foot descended towards his face was: _Oh, man, my face! It's delicate!_

That would be Starscream's genetics talking. It was also technically Starscream talking when, after the foot was lodged deep into his face, he screamed like a sparkling. At least they had taken him outside for the fight, so as not to disturb Megatron any further. Skywarp removed his heel and glared with a feisty grin at the little Decepticon.

Axedent was a complete wreck, his entire chassis sore and aching. One of his legs was nearly stripped down to sparking wires, his entire right arm numb from torn nerve circuitry. There was a huge dent in the back of his head and his left optic was crammed nearly completely back into his cranial chamber. He forced himself to a sit, all he could manage in his condition, groaning loudly.

"Amazin' you're still online," Thundercracker chuckled as he approached his fellow Seeker's side. He struck Axedent in the hip, causing him to yelp and nearly lose balance holding himself up with one working arm. "Resilient, stubborn, doesn't know when to just deactivate all ready," the blue jet smirked, "just like yer ma."

Skywarp pounded a fist in his other hand. "Cries like him, too," he sniggered. "I'm kinda likin' it."

Axedent cracked his neck loudly, a bolt springing out. "I--I said it was an accident," he swallowed, "I didn't mean to hit you back at the power plant. Really! You gotta forgive me!"

"We Decepticons don't know the meaning of 'forgive,'" Thundercracker snorted. He launched a fist into Axedent's head, hearing a cluttering 'thud' upon impact. "You're lucky we managed to repair 'Warp."

"Though we can't say the same for you," Skywarp interjected. He grabbed the Deception child by his dysfunctional arm, holding him up by it until they were face to face. Axedent ground his back teeth in utter pain, choking back a cry. "When we're finished, there might be nuttin' left to repair."

Axedent left optic dimmed. "M-Maybe we can solve this a bit more peacefully?" he gulp. A weak grin played at his busted lip components. "You wanna go get some nice vintage energon? Shockwave's got a whole crateful back at Cybertron. Maybe then I can treat you guys to a little karaoke, a body massage--"

Skywarp threw Axedent down. "Karaoke!?" he spat, now even more infuriated. How dare this novice think he could redeem himself by offering him booze! "Y'know, I don't like half the stuff that comes out of your mouth, glitch! I think we ought to just tear your vocalizers right out of your throat!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Thundercracker cheered. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Then maybe when we're done we'll make you play jump rope with your own vocal cords!"

"Ooo!" Skywarp chirped like a little girl, excitedly clapping his hands. He hopped up and down. "I like jump rope, I like that!" A sneer spread across his gray face. "Especially when we're using people's organs for the rope!"

Axedent shivered. He had never been more scared in his short pathetic life. And this was sad because it seemed the entire orn or so since he had been birthed, he had been scared shitless. _I'm never going to get a break_, he thought, _unless that break is in my limbs, joints, head..._

Nonetheless, he had to fight. He wasn't going to die, not yet and not now. Especially by the hands of a couple punks like these two. "L-Listen guys," he murmured, "I--I really am very, very, _very good almighty Primus_ sorry for what happened..."

Skywarp folded his arms over his chestplate, nose raised in the air. "You should be," he pouted.

"But I think," Axedent paused to let a spasm finish itself in the back of his head, "instead of... of trying to--to kill me, you... You let me make up in some other way for my error. I--I can offer my services, for-for whatever you need."

"What makes you think we _need_ your help?" Thundercracker demanded. He chortled darkly. "We can do anything we want with ease by ourselves."

"In fact, _no one_ needs you here. You're a pitiful Decepticon! Not even fit to join our glorious ranks!" Skywarp added proudly, idly itching his rear.

Axedent winced. If this didn't work, then it was back to a game of volleyball using his body parts. "N-Nothing? Not even one thing I can do for either of you?" he inquired nervously.

Thundercracker shook his head. "Face it, kid, you're a lost cause," he stated. "Besides, if we _did_ want you to do anything for us, you could never pull it off. You've proven numerous times you can't do slag without messing up or pissin' someone off."

"Take a hint!" Skywarp exclaimed, getting in Axedent's face. The latter squeaked and recoiled, falling over on his back. "Megatron doesn't want or need you! No one wants you around!" he informed. Looking back at the other Seeker, he said, "Everyone's just been waitin' until Megatron deactivates you out of sheer _mercy_, you're that much of worthless junk. Rumble an' Frenzy are placin' bets on how long you'll be around before you're blasted into the next megacycle."

"Rumble and I went with two orns," Thundercracker said, raising two digits, "and Frenzy went with three."

Well, as harsh as all this sounded, at least maybe Thundercracker would keep himself from killing Axedent so he could win the bet. Though he couldn't say this would be the case for Skywarp, who was really the only one who had a bone to pick.

"Oh, and," Skywarp snickered, "Ravage puked up an energon ball on your stasis pod."

Axedent widened his optics as the two Deception jets laughed. He wasn't offended, more so surprised. They _had_ a stasis pod for him? That had to mean something. Of course little did he know by "stasis pod," Skywarp meant a "giant empty cardboard box."

"ANYWAY!" Thundercracker cut off his laughter abruptly and shot Axedent in the chest with his laser finger. The sparkling yowled and flopped around for a nanosecond like a fish out of water. "Back to the subject at hand," the blue Seeker grumbled. "In the end, there's nothing you can do that will ever make yourself redeemable."

Axedent faltered, gloom washing over his face. It was right then and there, finally, that he realized Thundercracker and Skywarp were right. He was nothing, and would never be able to prove himself. And the more these words set in and stung him to his spark chamber, the more he felt both ashamed and... angry. And for each ounce of shame that grew, an extra bit of anger rose, all until a klik later, Axedent was infuriated with embarrassment.

"Why, the only way yer gonna make yourself a name here and with Megatron is if you manage to bring him back the head of Optimus Prime," Skywarp joked. He looked over to Thundercracker and the moment they met optics, they went back into a fit of giggles, slapping their knees and bellies in jolly amusement.

However, instead of feeling offended, Axedent rather got an idea. What if he _did_ bring Megatron, his paternal creator, the head of his worst nemesis, Optimus Prime?

Skywarp rolled around his shoulders. "Ah, yeah, it's fun being a couple dicks," he smirked. "Now: you want a leg or an arm, 'Cracker? I'm not picky..."

Axedent wasn't going to let this bullying continue. He had far enough. "I--I can do it!" he spat just as the Seekers went for a limb each. Immediately they stopped and stood straight, dumbfounded. "I can do it!" Axedent insisted, nodding firmly. His optics brightened. "I can bring Megatron the head of Optimus Prime!"

For a minute there, all Skywarp and Thundercracker could do was stare. They said not a word, moved not a single muscle, and a fly landed on Skywarp's bottom lip component from all the gawking. Axedent just kept up his serious face, returning their gazes with his own, more intelligible one. Then, what felt like eons later, the Seekers released a noise akin to a "ppffftttppfft" before grabbing onto their hips and cackling as loud as thunder.

The young Decepticon was offended, but he knew it wise not to say or show it. He just watched the jets laugh it up like Heckle and Jeckle, whooping and coughing and practically dancing, they were so amused. Axedent couldn't help but let his displeasure show in the form of a scowl when Skywarp had to throw himself over a nearby boulder and wheeze heavily as his systems bounced hyperactively inside him.

Finally, Axedent had enough. "I--I'm serious," he insisted, managing to crawl to a stand with the support of a tree. He leaned against it, trying his best to keep his backbone infrastructure straight, despite how damaged it was. "I'll go to the Ark and I'll get the head of Optimus Prime for you! I can do it!" he exclaimed.

"Oh and how the Pit do you think you're going to pull that off!?" Thundercracker howled, pointing. "Are you going to beg and plead at him for it like you always do!? Pppfffttt!"

"I... I'll figure something out," Axedent murmured, bowing his head. Nonetheless, he was determined, and not even their taunting could bring him down. Not when he thought he could finally do something right. "I'll do it! I'll show you!"

Skywarp wiped the coolant from his optics. "Pppfft! Screamer says the same thing when he comes up with his 'brilliant schemes,'" he informed mockingly.

"You--you don't have to believe me if you don't want to!" Axedent replied, struggling to be taken seriously. That was a bit hard given his situation and the fact he looked like he had been run through a minefield by a pair of wild horses. "I'll do it. I'll find a way to win over Prime's trust and when he has his guard down," he said, jabbing a thumb to his chipped cockpit, "I'll lop that head right off and bring it back to you guys! Then maybe you'll appreciate me!"

Then again Axedent forgot no Decepticon appreciated another Decepticon. Minor detail. "Oooh, _you_," Thundercracker sniffed as the last of his giggles came to an end. "For--for this, I think I'm gonna spare rippin' ya limb from limb."

Skywarp weakly waved a hand in the air, keeled over and supporting himself against his knees. "Sa-same here," he chuckled, "anyone who can make me laugh like that deserves to live a little while longer."

Axedent was not the least bit grateful. How dare they think he was joking! In that instant, he truly felt like he was the spawn of the mighty overlord Megatron and the malicious, ruthless Starscream. Two of the most powerful Transformers in the entire universe and beyond, and he was gifted with both their genes. There was no way in the Pit Axedent was going to let this knowledge slip, let others think he gained nothing but their weaknesses. Even if he had to risk his spark to go right into the Ark and challenge Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots himself, he would do it.

Though he didn't say anything, didn't voice his disdain and hurt from their words. Let them laugh, let them mock and tease him for now. Soon, they'd find themselves on their knees in awe of him. Soon, Megatron and Starscream would commend him, honor him and, better yet, accept him as their offspring. This alone let a smile ghost along Axedent's faceplate.

"Let's head back to the base, 'Warp," Thundercracker said, completely ignoring Axedent, "and see if we can get permission to go visit Shockwave. I want some of that energon."

Skywarp punched a fist in the air. "Pit yeah, let's get plastered!" he cheered. He grinned snidely back at the smaller Decepticon. "Have fun gettin' yerself killed, kiddo," he gibed, giving him a mock salute. Axedent just looked away, nodding mechanically. The purple Seeker ran to Thundercracker's side, snickering, "I wonder if I was ever stupid like that when I was a sparkling..."

"What are you talking about? You're _still_ that stupid."

"Haha, I'm going to frag you up."

"Haha, shut up."

Axedent waited until the two jets were off, disappearing into the early morning sky. Soon, the sun would rise, but not for another few cycles. The Decepticon turned his gaze behind him, in the direction to where the Autobot base was. His optic ridge narrowed and he puffed out his chest.

He'd show them, he told himself as he limped, using tree to tree to keep him up on his feet. He'd show them all.

Mwa ha _ha_.

* * *

Axedent had to take frequent breaks in between his quest to the Autobot base. His injuries would need to be treated soon, or he'd find himself immobile in the middle of nowhere. Winds from the previous storm would return to blow through the trees, as if trying to push him away, turn him back around. But the Decepticon sparkling kept gunning forward, dead set on seeing his plan successfully through.

Finally, around the time the winds had died down again (perhaps saying "fuck it"; they tried ushering him into retreat), Axedent hopped out from behind a large oak tree, into a clearing twenty yards from the Ark. This was the first time he'd see the enemy base up close. For a second, fear squeezed his spark, but he quickly mentally bitchslapped the terror away. No, no, he was _not_ going to back down, even if everything in the entire universe was telling him this entire idea was stupid.

"I'm gonna do it... Show 'em all, yeah..." Axedent said his mantra to help cheer his suddenly apprehensive spirit. He made it this far; there was no turning back now. He thought deep and hard, and an image of Megatron shaking his hand and pinning a badge to his chest after receiving Prime's head suddenly made his spark skip a pulse. Axedent smiled again; Pit _yeah_, he was going to get that handshake and badge.

Axedent limped forward another few steps. "The badge's gonna say..." he grunted as he flung himself against a tree. Carefully, he hopped another two feet forward. "... 'Best Decepticon...'" he grunted and paused, popping his knee joint back into place. He started forward again, fueled by pure desire. "... 'Ever.'"

"JET JUDO!"

Axedent gasped, optics widening as he snapped his face to the sky. This time around, _two_ feet met his face and with a howl, he fell over on his back and rolled down the small hill towards the entrance of the Ark. He groaned as he flopped to a sit, his malfunctioned arm twisted on backwards. His optics dimmed back online just in time to see the Autobot twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, run at him like bulls seeing red.

Axedent threw up his good hand, nearly causing him to fall back over. "W-Wait!" he squeaked. "I c-come in peace!"

"Yeah!" Sunstreaker laughed, drawing back his fist as he continued racing forward. "And we're gonna send you packin' in pieces!"

"Oh, slag," Axedent wibbled, knowing he certainly wasn't going to get through them.

"Changing Hip Throw!" the yellow Autobot shouted, before diving at Axedent. He picked up the squealing Decepticon, flipped him over in his grasp then threw him onto his back, twisting his arm in one hand.

Axedent screamed. "O-Ou! Ouououou! S-Stop! I'm not here to fight!"

Sunstreaker shoved him at his twin. "Back Throw!" Sideswipe declared and caught the Decepticon. Axedent gasped as Sideswipe held him up by the rear before throwing him into a suplex over his shoulder.

There came a crunch from Axedent's helmet and his left optic finally died out. "I--I, oh Primus, I'm your friend! Listen to me! I'm on your team!" he pleaded, coolant forming in his only working optic. He struggled up with only the support of one busted working arm, Sideswipe moving away from him.

However, Sunstreaker came stomping at him, no look of mercy or understanding on his face. "Sure, Decepticreep!" he sneered.

"No, please!" Axedent whimpered, raising a hand to him. That was a bad mistake.

Sunstreaker took it with a grateful little smile, forced Axedent up, twisted his arm around and then threw him back down on the ground on his back, one of his wings bending backwards. "Arm Reversal! Did you see that, Sides!?" the yellow Lambo shouted, looking to his brother.

"Good job, bro! I give it a 9!" Sideswipe laughed, raising a thumb.

Sunstreaker wrinkled his nose. "A 9? I deserve a full 10!" he exclaimed, taken aback. He reached down, once more hauling up the moaning injured 'Con into a scoop, before flipping him over his shoulder onto his back. "Scoop Throw!!"

"Oh, _Primus_!" Axedent sobbed, gaping at the sight of a chunk of his wing hanging by a mere wire to his back. "Guys, this isn't funny! I'm seriously on your side! I've come in peace! I'm a good guy! I love the Autobots and humans and the Earth and small animals, I swear!" he cried frantically.

Sideswipe frowned. Axedent sounded quite sincere. Even though of course this was all a lie in general, right now it was very much the truth. Just as long as it would keep the psycho from throwing him around some more. "Hey, Sunny, let's give the 'Con a klik to explain himself," the red Lambo suggested fairly.

Axedent smiled before shrieking when Sunstreaker did a Judo Circle Throw on him. "All that comes out of Decepticon mouths are lies!" the yellow twin insisted. He dropped the side of his hand fiercely in between Axedent's shoulder and neck, shouting, "JUDO CHOP!"

Sideswipe walked over to the other Lambo. "No, I'm serious, stop for a moment," he stated, apprehensively raising his hands to his brother.

"Pfft! Decepticons deserve no mercy!" Sunstreaker snorted with a menacing grin that made Axedent more terrified of it rather than all the blows he was getting. The Autobot then repeatedly started kicking and stomping the middle of Axedent's back, getting whines and whimpers and wibbles from him with every blow.

Sideswipe bit into his bottom lip component. "Sunny, c'mon, stop..."

There was no emotion in Sunstreaker's optics. Even the malicious intent in his grin was only frozen from moments before. Like a, well, robot he just kept mechanically stomping and kicking, not realizing exactly what he was doing. "No mercy, no mercy, no mercy," the yellow Lambo chanted darkly, off in a daze.

"Oh, frag," Sideswipe sighed. His brother had gone back into another sociopathic spell. He had no choice but to punch him in the back of his head, forcing Sunstreaker to jolt back to his senses and trip forward. He whirled around a second later, rubbing his sore helm.

"What the slag was that for!?" he whined.

"You went into looney land again," Sideswipe informed.

Sunstreaker blinked. "Oh, well, that explains why I couldn't remember the last few nanoseconds," he muttered lowly, though not as concerned sounding as he should be. He scowled as he withdrew his hand from his head. "You're lucky you didn't leave a mark," he said and all emotion drained from his face again, "or else I would have--"

"Sunstreaker, slag it!" Sideswipe snapped, slapping his brother. As Sunny recuperated, the red twin turned and looked down at the heap of moaning junk that was Axedent. "I don't think he'll be talking any time soon now..."

"N-No..." Axedent croaked. No, he wasn't going to let some crazy egomaniac put him out of commission. Sideswipe was surprised at his resilience. The Decepticon slowly turned his head, something cracking, and looked weakly up at the Autobot with his one functioning optic. "I... want to be... your... ally..."

Sideswipe arched an optic ridge. "'Ally'?"

Sunstreaker stepped up to his brother's side, checking out his face in a hand mirror that he kept conveniently on him at all times. "He's lyin', I tell ya," he insisted, putting the mirror back away in his chest compartment. The only reason he wasn't reigning hellfire on Sideswipe for the previous slap was because he was his brother, and no blemish was made.

"N-No..." Axedent moaned. "'S'truth..."

"What in sweet Aunt Jemimaco's delicious iron-pancakes is going on out here!?"

The twins looked up as Jazz and Prowl ran over to the group. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stepped aside, parting to show the officers Axedent's twitching form.

Jazz gaped in surprise. "Well, if it ain't the Digit of Doom!" he exclaimed. "The Finger of Fear! The Pointer of Pain! The--"

"Knock it off, Jazz," Prowl scowled, raising a hand and silencing his comrade. He brushed past Sideswipe and looked over Axedent, his shadow swallowing the 'bot whole. "Is he still functional?" he demanded, looking back to the twins. "He looks like he's been run through--"

"I--I am," Axedent wheezed. Prowl instinctively kicked him out of surprise when he suddenly spoke. "Ohoho, man," the Decepticon whimpered, curling inward.

Prowl pointed his gun at him. "State your business here, Decepticon!"

"I... I've been trying to... to tell you guys!" Axedent yowled, rolling onto his back. Jazz winced at how minced up his face was. "I--I've come to join the Autobots. I--I am no longer a Decepticon."

* * *

"But why?"

Everyone was tense in the Ark, gathered in the med bay. Axedent laid, limp, weak and trashed out on a steel bed. Ratchet begrudgingly was preparing his equipment for possible surgery. Optimus Prime stood at the foot of the bed, Ironhide and Prowl at his flanks.

"I... I am not needed among the Decepticons. They d-do not respect me. All I g-get is ab-abuse," Axedent stammered. Sad thing was he wasn't lying.

Huffer snorted. "Oh, so you expected something _other_ than disrespect and abuse from the Decepticons?" He looked to Ratchet. "This kid might be too damaged to save. I say just put 'im out of his misery."

Axedent wished he could blow that sneer off the Minibot's face, but neither of his arms were functioning. Wheeljack had disabled his weaponry core and bound his working limbs down for their safety.

Optimus spoke up after listening silently. "Is this truly the real reason you are defecting yourself from the Decepticons?" he demanded, though his voice remained controlled.

Axedent nodded. All he could see in his sight was Optimus's head, soon to be in his hands, then Megatron's, then... "I--I realize the De-Decepticon cause is-is not in my-my circuitry... I-It is not somethi-thing I can d-dedicate myself t-to..." he muttered. "D-Destruction... pil-pillaging... k-killing... n-none of it makes me f-feel right..."

"Lies lies lies lies," Huffer and Sunstreaker echoed in unison.

"N-Not a lie!" Axedent insisted, wincing as some circuit popped in his hip. "I--I really a-am not a D-Decepticon any-anymore..."

Ironhide stomped up beside him and removed the bond from Axedent's working arm. Ratchet went to stop him before Prime rose his hand, assuring the medic everything was fine. "Then prove it!" Ironhide snapped, shoving Axedent's hand against his chest, right over his Decepticon symbol.

Axedent's optic flickered. He understood what he had to do. "I--I will..." he said, voice deep in his throat. He dug his fingers above his insignia then, in a flash, ripped it right off. However, he neglected to remember that while the Autobot and Decepticon symbols can be merely removed like articles of clothing, the mark had been part of his genetic make-up, coded as part of his flesh.

And when he remembered this the pain set in and he screamed violently.

Jazz winced and looked away. "_Daaaamn_."

Axedent's chest heaved, throbbing with pain. "T-There! There! THERE I DID IT THERE! TAKE IT!" he sputtered, angrily and painfully throwing the ripped chunk of metal at Ironhide. Ironhide blanched and slapped it from his hand, refusing to touch it. It hurt like Hell, but if this is what he had to do to gain their trust, so be it. "D-Do you believe m-me now? Do y-you accept m-me?"

"We're afraid that alone is not going to be enough for us to trust you," Prowl informed, causing Axedent's optic to flare murderous red, "_but_, it has permitted you to stay here and receive treatment."

Axedent calmed down a little, still shaky from the pain. "I--I can't go a-anywhere else," he informed, "i-if Megatron o-or any of the o-other Decepticons f-found me, th-they'd kill me..."

Optimus kindly placed a hand on his shattered foot. "Do not worry," he said calmly, "you are safe here." The Autobot leader turned and nodded at Ratchet. "You may commence with the repairs."

"Yeah..." Ratchet replied, reluctant to obey the command. Like all the other Autobots, he did not trust Axedent one iota. Needless to say, he took out his tools and went to work. "We're going to temporarily deactivate you to conserve your remaining energy," he informed the ex-Decepticon sourly.

Axedent trembled. "J-Just temporarily...?"

"Unfortunately," Ratchet mumbled lowly. He went to switch the sparkling off, just in time to hear Sideswipe wishing him the best of luck with a sarcastic grin.

* * *

Axedent didn't know how long he was out for, but when he came to, he felt ten times rejuvenated. Both his optics slowly dimmed to life, his systems whirring softly as fresh transfused energy and oil coursed through his wires. There was still a dull ache in the back of his head, but it would pass soon. All that mattered was he was still alive, obviously repaired and functional and, best of all, inside the Autobot base.

_And those idiots said I wouldn't be able to pull it off_, Axedent sniggered internally. _This is going to be a piece of oil cake, heh heh..._

When Axedent's vision cleared, he found himself staring up at the dim ceiling of the med bay. Instinctively, he went to sit up, but found he was unable to move an inch. He muffled a grunt as he wiggled about, struggling to sit, equilibrium chip on full power. He managed to roll one optic down to spot the iron bindings holding him down to the bed.

_Shit_, Axedent cursed. Of course his high had to be dragged down into the mud. However, this wouldn't hold him back. He'd break free somehow, some way.

Just as he began grinding his wrists in their bonds, he heard the door across the room open with a soft hiss. Quickly, he went still, offlining his optics. He listened as heavy footfalls poured from the door and near his bedside. The sparkling stiffened himself when Ratchet turned his head aside, checking on the damage to the back of his head.

The CMO looked to Axedent's vitals. "All healthy and ready to go," he sighed, disappointed. Axedent resisted the urge to stick his glossa out at him. Ratchet turned aside, fiddling with his table of various medical tools. He rose a drill, turning it on and watching the machine spin with a ferocious snarl. "Maybe if I took you apart and reprogrammed you..." he mused, his voice all too serious.

Axedent swore to Primus, every Autobot was turning out to be utterly fucking terrifying.

But just before Ratchet could fancy the idea of taking Axedent apart, piece by piece, the door opened again. Axedent hoped whoever had come into distract Ratchet from his plans was someone he could thank later. The footfalls of this second person were much heavier, suggesting a bulkier frame.

"Ironhide," Ratchet said, switching off the drill, "what do you need?"

Ironhide passed him and looked down at their patient. "Came ta see if this 'Con was givin' ya any trouble," he answered. "Even though he's bound up tighter than a robo-chicken coop in 'er tornada an' his weapons are deactivated, ya can't trust 'em. They find ways, y'know."

"I believe you," Ratchet agreed. "But I'm all finished up here. I just came to check if he was still stable." He swished a hand at the screen. "And, well, alas. You planning on staying in here and keeping an optic on him?"

"Well, Prime was gonna have Trailbreaker do it, but I opted ta take his place," Ironhide explained. "Since I can't trust no Deceptidope as far as I can throw 'em, I gotta be here to watch 'em for myself."

Ratchet shrugged. "I suppose if it gives you peace of mind."

Ironhide chuckled before coyly rapping his fingers on the bedside next to Axedent's foot. "Also, I was kinda hopin' you'd hang around, too," he crooned.

Ratchet's optics widened. "You're not possibly thinking--in here with--with..."

Ironhide leaned closer to Ratchet. Axedent didn't like the sudden change in the atmosphere. "Why not? It'll keep us both busy. 'Less yer too tired?"

"Mm'not, but..." Ratchet murmured, embarrassed. He looked aside, straightening. "It's just completely out of the question! For one, this is my office, and for two, we have a patient, a _Decepticon_ patient, in our midst."

"The place don't matter. Dinnit before," Ironhide sniggered, causing Ratchet to scowl, faceplate heating up. Ironhide idly thwacked Axedent in the leg, causing him to repress a jump with all his might. "'Sides, the 'Con's out cold. No worries."

"But _still_--"

The red Autobot nudged Ratchet in the arm with his elbow. "It'll be somethin' different, y'know? In the office, fer one, an' with an unconscious Decepticon nearby? Kinky _an'_ dangerous!" he laughed softly.

Axedent suddenly realized what was going on. Right when Ironhide said the dreaded "kinky" word. _Oh, Unicron, please please please **no**..._

Ratchet moved away from the bed, setting some relief inside Axedent. "It's just... it's too much..." he murmured, unable to look Ironhide in the face.

Ironhide walked up behind him, pressing his body against the medic's back. The touch, the heat, it made Ratchet's knees quiver. "It'll be all right, honestly," the soldier assured, tracing his hand up Ratchet's chest, drawing a circle along his window shield. Ratchet groaned and so did Axedent, only in his head and with no pleasure at all. "Nothin's gonna happen."

"Y-You don't know that..." Ratchet disagreed, brushing back Ironhide's hand. It just returned, tracing along the frame of the window, down to the seams under his arms. Ratchet made a gushing noise of pleasure, having to support himself against his desk. Axedent was willing the coolant from going to his optics and giving himself away.

Ironhide brought his lips to the side of Ratchet's head. "It'll be all right, doc," he whispered, his glossa running a smooth line along the frame of his helm's crest. Ratchet was melting in his hands and so was Axedent's sanity. "I'll take care of everythin'..."

Before either Ratchet or Axedent knew it, Ironhide spun Ratchet around, forcing him hard against the side of Axedent's bed. It caused the table to shake, and Axedent to nearly give himself away with a surprised scream. Ratchet reacted in a more appreciative manner, throwing his arms around Ironhide's head and hungrily taking his lips into a passionate kiss.

Axedent didn't need to see anything to know what was happening. The moans were one thing, but then came the thrusting. It shook his bed, and worst yet, it was _right beside him_. And it was quite obvious they were having quite a damn good time. There went Ratchet's fears right out the window.

Axedent wanted to cry. Cry loud for all the world to hear. _They're either psychos,_ his mind wept, _or perverts!_

Five minutes passed, and the thrusting and shaking only increased. Once or twice, he'd feel one of the Autobot's hands brush against him. The patience he had was remarkable; he'd have to thank his "mother" for his ability to put up with all this pain. Ratchet then made a very orgasmic cry; not loud enough for anyone outside the room to hear, but loud enough to scar Axedent forever. _Oh, Primus, gag me with a spoon! GO A-WAY! GO A-WAY!_

Axedent nearly lost his cool when Ironhide had been a bit too forceful, causing Ratchet to fall back and splay out on top of him. _CchhhhrrriiiisssssMUS!_ Axedent screamed inside his head, listening to it echo. Thankfully, this had slapped Ratchet back to his senses, causing him to quickly get up and move away.

"Okay, no more here, let's go to your quarters," Ratchet insisted, rubbing down his face. He felt so ashamed; he didn't wait for Ironhide to respond, just marched quickly out of the room. He was going to die with embarrassment because of this. Just right after he finished his fuck. Ironhide just whistled carelessly and sidled out of the med bay like some suave cowboy.

When the doors shut, and a moment of silence passed, Axedent slowly onlined his optics until they were bright bloody red. When he saw he was alone, he hissed silently, "I - want - to - bleach - out - my - audio - sen - _soooooorssss_..."

Placing the previous events in "memories to delete," Axedent focused on breaking free. He ground his teeth as he writhed in his bindings. In the end, he finally decided to go with his last resort. It hurt like hell, but biting back his pain, Axedent told himself he had faced worst and twisted his hand around in full circles. Luckily nothing serious would be damaged, but like humans, there were nerves in his hands. Finally, after a single klik, he had twisted his hand right off.

Axedent raised his handless arm, shaking the numbness out of it. A second later, out popped a tiny deformed claw. Another feature he'd need to thank the dear mummy for. Immediately he went to work prying off the other iron binding on his hand, until it was free. After screwing back on his hand, it was only a matter of a few astroseconds until Axedent released himself from his leg bindings.

The sparkling hopped down from the berth, wobbling in a circle before supporting himself against the table. "I feel like giant bricks of metal were slammed into the back of my head," he muttered. This wasn't too far away a description of Thundercracker and Skywarp's feet. After the initial dizziness wore out, Axedent staggered forward to a complete stand, shaking off the remaining remnants of the daze.

The "ex"-Decepticon quietly tiptoed over to a mirror by Ratchet's desk. Thankfully, he found himself repaired back to normal, and not with an extra nose and "loser" carved into his forehead. He supposed the Autobots were more mature than the Decepticons _until_ he remembered what had just happened right next to him earlier and dropped that entire assumption.

Axedent attempted to online his weaponry, but to no avail. "Probably some advanced locking code," he grumbled, annoyed. This would most definitely be a good reason why he should turn tail and get the Hell out of there, but no. "Minor setback, nothing more," he murmured, looking around the room. If he couldn't use his weapons, he'd find or make one.

The Decepticon shot a spark of high voltage electricity into the power lock on one of the supply closets in the room. It instantly broke in half in a glitching pile on the floor, Axedent carefully opening the doors. Luckily, there was no alarm set off or insane Autobot practicing pseudo-Japanese fighting techniques on his aft.

Within the closet were various tools, used for extreme cases or when other equipment was currently down. That was when Axedent grinned as dark and evil as his parents when he spotted the perfect weapon. He dug into the closet, retrieving a giant solid red axe. Turning the tool in his hand, he admired it with fire in his optics and mania in his grin.

"Oh, I could not _not_ use this," Axedent sniggered at the irony. He squeezed the axe to his chest. "With this simple axe, without using any of my powers or guns or anything far more technologically advanced, I _will_ kill Optimus Prime."

Yes indeed, Axedent was quite sure he'd be getting promoted to possibly second in command of the Decepticons soon. He knew Starscream currently occupied that role, but oh, third time's a charm and mommy's sense of treachery ran through his circuitry. Though the idea was fleeting, maybe he'd be Decepticon leader one orn, too...

The one thing Axedent neglected to remember were some of the _flaws_ he had gained from Starscream as he headed for the door, ready for his assassination. True, he had gained immensely high tolerance to pain. True, he also got that spiffy claw as well. But as he opened the doors to exit the med bay, he forgot he inherited constantly overestimating himself.

* * *

The base was quiet. Dawn was sluggishly pulling herself over Mount St. Hilary, taking her merry time. A handful of the Autobots had gone into recharge, most of which had been up all night doing work or guard duty. This included Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, thank Primus. The corridors of the aged spaceship were empty, void of life, and winds from the previous storm made hollow groans against the metal outside every now and then. Most of the remaining noise came from Teletraan-1 beeping and booping, but otherwise lacking any suspicion of the Decepticon wandering his halls.

Axedent stuck to the shadows, up along the wall, moving cautiously, quietly, like some spy in a movie. He had just turned the corner from the med bay, where he found himself faced with another empty corridor. With his axe clenched tightly against his chest, he peeked into any door with a window, hoping he'd find Optimus's chambers. Nothing appeared to be turning up, however, until...

The Decepticon quickly reeled back and snuck around the corner when the door just a yard ahead of him opened. Wheeljack stepped out of the room, Gears walking alongside him. "I'm sure it'll be a great success, jes gotta test it out later," the scientist explained to his smaller friend.

Gears sighed heavily. "It'll just be another foul up, I say," he grunted. "You've yet to come up with anything you call 'ingenious,' a word you like tossing around as if you copyrighted it."

Wheeljack just laughed, quite used to Gears's grumpy attitude. "Jus' have some faith in me, okay? It's sure t'put those Decepticreeps outta commission for a long time," he said. "Work with me, work with me, haha!"

"Harharhar," Gears gibed as he and Wheeljack turned down another corridor.

When Axedent realized the coast was clear, he quickly bolted down the hall. What Wheeljack had said had peaked his curiosity, enough so to temporarily put aside his true mission. A powerful weapon might come in useful. Luckily, the door to Wheeljack's lab was in the process of shutting. Axedent quickly took a tumble forward and rolled into the room, right before the doors could close around his foot.

The sparkling sat up quickly, still hugging his axe. The laboratory was lit only by two giant white screens glowing gloomily across the room, illuminating the scientist's tables scattered with junk and inventions, both old and new. Axedent stood, letting the axe rest limply by his side as he peeped around the room, looking left and right, for anything that might catch his attention.

That was when he saw a strange metal box sitting majestically beneath a lone lamp light, splashed over it like a spotlight. For some reason, Axedent knew this had to be the invention that Autobot was talking about.

Dazzled with a young' in's curiosity, he couldn't help but sit his axe down and slowly remove the clasps keeping the box shut. In the back of his cranial chamber, that voice known as "logic" was telling him to stop and go, but he hadn't really paid it much attention in the past anyway. Besides, he was still young; technically an infant, so who could blame him?

So Axedent opened the box and quickly looked inside. Nothing; absolutely nothing. He was expecting some awesome shiny laser gun that, with one shot, could turn a robot into a bucket of slugs, but... nothing. It was completely empty. The Decepticon scowled, disappointed and disgusted.

"What sort of invention is--"

"Decepticon! Destroy!"

Axedent's shriek was muffled by a small creature now firmly planted on his face. He recoiled and tried ripping the creature off, unable to see anything but its metallic body. The robotic creature resembled something of a tarsier; its entire body camouflaged with Axedent's face, its giant marble eyes blue and wide. Attached to its webbed paws were little hooks that embedded themselves into the Decepticon's face.

"WhathaPehisthes!?" Axedent cried into the robot's belly, continuing to try and pry it off.

"Decepticon! Destroy!" the metal tarsier beast hissed. An orb on its back suddenly lit up a fiery red, the Cybetronian number for 10 appearing from within. One nanosecond later, with a click, it turned into a 9. The sound it made Axedent immediately knew was akin to a time bomb, and that wasn't good.

Regretfully, Axedent resorted into punching the animal, even if it meant technically punching his own face. The creature shrieked and leapt from his head and onto the ground, where it disappeared. Axedent quickly picked up his weapon and whirled in circles, looking for the beast.

He then heard another tick beside him and turned. At his foot he could vaguely make out a strange shape the same color as the floor. Then a pair of eyes opened and Axedent realized, the thing was a type of chameleon. The bomb on its back was now 6.

"Decepticon! Destroy!" the tarsier robot cried and leapt at Axedent again, deranged with its spiked paws reaching for him. Axedent stepped back and batted the creature across the room with his axe. It squeaked when it landed in a pile of foam peanuts, quickly hopping out the same milky white, a bright 5 glowing in its orb.

The relentless robot ran at him again. "What the Pit are you!?" Axedent snarled, terrified and enraged.

"Decepticon! Destroy! All hail Autobots! Urpurpurp!" the robo-tarsier squealed as it dove for his feet, its eyes spinning in its head.

Axedent would need to add this thing to the top of his new phobias. "I'm not gonna die by the hands of a mutant rodent robot thing!" he hissed and threw down his axe to slice the creature in half. Just as it turned 4, the beast leapt aside then ran for him again. And again Axedent swung his axe at him, barely missing cutting off the robot's back leg.

"Urpurpurp! Destroy Decepticon!" it cried in its shrill voice, the bomb on its back now 2. He ran for Axedent's foot.

"Slag it!" Axedent snapped, drawing back his foot and kicking the creature clear across the room. It flew at the door, squealing and urping the entire time. But right before it could hit the door, the 1 on its back turned to 0 and the creature exploded. The explosion managed to wipe out half the door in a smoking hole, but nothing more. However, should it have gone off while attached to Axedent, he knew he would be scattered in debris all over the lab.

"What was that!?"

Axedent cursed and quickly hid himself amongst a pile of junk in the shadows of the room. Wheeljack and Gears ran inside half a second later. Wheeljack widened his optics at the sight of the metal box open and tipped over. "Oh, _Primus_," he sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead.

"What happened now!?" Gears demanded.

Wheeljack looked around the mess for a moment before picking up what remained of the creature he had created: a single marble blue eye. "I guess the li'l buddy got out and malfunctioned," the scientist stated.

"What?"

"Well, see, he was a protoform for a new weapon I was workin' on," Wheeljack explained, holding the eye out to the smaller Autobot. "Modeled after an Earth Philippine tarsier and chameleon, he was supposed to detect Decepticons by their signature energy fields and, in stealth camouflage mode, sneak up on 'em, attach himself to 'em then blew 'em up by self destruction. I was gonna call 'em Tasiers. Like 'taser' with 'tarsier,' get it?"

Both Gears and Axedent blinked their optics. "So let me get this straight," the Mini Vehicle started slowly, "you basically... invented a suicidal/homicidal primate-lizard-rodent with a lust for explosions?"

Wheeljack stared back at him, stroked his faceplate for a moment then replied, "Yeah. I mean, if ya wanna look at it that way."

Gears released a nice, long sigh, patting the scientist on his back. "You... Well, it doesn't matter. Apparently its wires got crossed or something. No good to us now. Though this shouldn't come as a surprise..."

"I s'pose you're right," Wheeljack mourned, squeezing the marble eye in his hand.

"The world just ain't ready for suicidal/homicidal monkey-lizard-rodent explosives," Gears taunted, leading his friend out the door to get tools ready for repairs.

Wheeljack nodded. "Maybe one day, though..."

"... I was being sarcastic, Wheeljack."

Axedent stuck his head out the moment the footfalls faded from his audio sensors. "Definitely on the psycho list," he muttered, rubbing at the claw marks on his face. He darted out of the hole in the door and scampered back into the darkness.

* * *

The Ark appeared to be much more complex than Axedent had first anticipated. He went through ten corridors, Optimus's room still elusive. The sparkling wandered deeper into the bowels of the ship, creeping through the weaponry sector. Though he was so tempted to take a gun or ten down from the walls, he was determined to win with only his axe. That'd really show how tough he was.

Axedent was near the exit when a shadow suddenly stretched across the room's open doorway. With an annoyed grunt, he swung around before hiding himself behind two large missiles. The shadow grew until it poured out into the large room of weapons, Bluestreak stepping inside. The Datsun had his optics fixed on what appeared to be a rather large phone, its cord plugged into his arm for power. He quickly punched in a series of numbers.

The Decepticon watched him from his hiding spot as the Autobot stopped nearby, placing the phone to his left audio sensor. A klik later, a smile crossed his face.

"Hey hey hey, 'Bee!" he laughed. "Yeah, yeah, it's Bluestreak. Yeah, I'm using the Cell I found in Wheeljack's lab. Yeah, you'd be surprised, it was hidden under a pile of scrap, but it works just fine. It's really good; it's got great reception. I can hear you perfectly, in fact, as if you were right next to me. That's gotta be something rewarding for the crackpot, right? I mean usually his inventions never work but it appears this one does. Quite well, too! I haven't the foggiest why he would want to toss it out. I mean, apparently you can tell it works, too, using your radio transmission and--oh..." He paused.

"No, he doesn't know. Uhh, don't tell him, okay? It'll just be our little secret. You wouldn't go back on a secret, would you? I trust you, see, so--" Again, he went quiet, listening for a few seconds. "No, I'm not on duty, that's why I'm calling, hahaha! I hope you don't mind! I know you're out and about with Spike, but everyone else is in recharge or on guard duty or working or maybe interfacing for all I know hahaha man it's been like, forever since I last did any interfacing, you know? 4 million Earth years to be precise, haha; so what about you, are you still waitin' to be plugged or did you have a femme back on Cybertron? If so..."

The Datsun shut up again but went right back to babbling moments later. "Sorry, yeah, I know that was a bit inappropriate, I'm just trying to make conversation, so what are you and Spike doing? Just hanging out at his base, watchin' one of those movies, maybe listenin' to some Earth music? I mean, whatever you're doing, it must be fun, because you and Spike always seem to have fun when you're around another. And you know I'm kinda envious of that; I try to start conversations with Prowl, 'cause we Dat's gotta stick together, you know you know? But he usually never responds or just walks away and I'm not quite sure what I'm possibly doing wrong. Maybe he's just anti-social or could it be..."

Axedent widened his optics. _Slag_ this Autobot could talk.

"... So you are watching a movie?" Bluestreak inquired. "Like, at his domain or are you at one of those 'drive-in theatres'? I think you'd fit in there, hahaha and not just because you're a car, but because you'd _literally_ fit in there, you know, since I doubt you could fit yourself inside Spike's tiny base. I mean, haha, imagine that! You'd be all stuck in the doorway, twisted up, Spike and Sparkplug and the rest of us trying to pull you o--oh, sorry."

The Datsun leaned back against the wall. "So what is this movie about? Is it funny, scary or romantic?" he asked, twirling the cord around his finger, tilting his head to the side. "I bet it's funny, you seem to like funny movies. Scary movies are okay, but I mean, nothing can be scarier than Megatron, am I right?" Bluestreak then gasped and jumped up and down. "Oh oh oh oh oh is it a _romance_? Oh, you sly robo-dog, you! I can't believe it! You're watching a romantic movie, aren't you? I heard drive-ins are basically meant for those kind of social gatherings but with _Spike_ of all the creatures in the uni-... Oh, it's a comedy? Ah, okay."

Axedent looked to the door. Maybe when the Autobot had his back turned, he could take the risk and run for it. But Bluestreak was standing only a few feet from him, facing him, and the missiles, directly. Bluestreak then took out a nail filer, propping the phone between his shoulder and head as he eyed his fingers.

"What's the movie about, huh? Is it really funny? Or is it bad? I haven't seen a funny video in a long time, you know. I wish we could all just take an orn off and go see a movie and maybe go shopping and maybe then we can go have some oil cake at a local cafe; you know, the one with the elderly humans who really like us? They could probably whip us up an oil cake if we gave them the directions and ingredients, though pfft oil's not hard to find when it's not being stolen by Deceptijerks," Bluestreak rambled, filing a few nails and blowing them off.

Axedent sighed, long, deep and hard. To make matters worse, Bluestreak had now sprawled himself out on the floor on his stomach, legs kicking back and forth, fingers rapping on the ground as he held the phone with the other hand. "I should let you go, I know, but I'm really _soooo_ bored," he sighed dramatically.

Axedent honestly thought that would end the conversation, but the Datsun only brightened and exclaimed, "Hey, maybe I can meet up with you guys, huh? I mean, you didn't leave that long ago, the movie must still be going! Maybe I'll catch most of it!"

The Decepticon dropped his head in his hands. _Yes, leave, _go_!_

The Datsun was oddly quiet for a whole klik. "I see," he murmured, "I suppose it _wouldn't_ make any sense if I came in the middle of the movie. Ah, oh well." But that quirky grin was back on his faceplate. "Tell me what's happening right now!"

Axedent pounded his head, as quietly as possible, into the wall. "Slag this," he hissed lowly. He stretched out his axe, smacking it against a missile nearby. Like the domino effect, the missile fell over, knocking down the next missile and so forth and so on. Immediately, Bluestreak jumped to his feet, his weapon equipped.

"The missiles just started falling over!" he stated when Bumblebee asked him the source of the noise. The Datsun cautiously approached the pile of weapons, luckily all deactivated. Axedent impatiently waited for him to pass by.

"I _told_ everyone this place was haunted!" Bluestreak whined, inching closer. "It's said that while this ship was being built, an Autobot accidentally tripped and got impaled by one of his tools, killing him instantly! Out of fury and unable to move on to the Matrix, they say he still haunts this sector, causing accidents so maybe someone can die and join hi--No, it's the truuuth!"

Finally, Bluestreak was far away enough for Axedent to bolt from his hiding spot and out of the room, right when Wheeljack's fully functional phone blew up beside Bluestreak's face.

* * *

Farther and farther Axedent went down into the Autobot base, axe still clutched to his breast, optics on night vision. It was freaky down here and though he'd never admit it, he was starting to get the heebie jeebies. The scenery was doused in black and green from his optics; at least these doors had windows on them.

_Would Prime be somewhere down here?_ he wondered, nervous. _Well, I mean, it's somewhere away from being easily accessed, but still... If there was a cave in or something, he'd probably die._ That last word made something in his abdomen curl and he stopped. _H-He wouldn't be down here. Too dangerous, too far away from the others._ The Decepticon glanced back over his shoulder. _I--I should just go back..._

Before Axedent could make his final decision, a few yards ahead of him he heard something squeak. He gasped, turning; Axedent zoomed in on the source of the noise frantically. _M-Maybe that motor mouth was r-right... Maybe there is a g-g-g-..._ He couldn't finish, a lump in his throat. Just then, there came another quiet hiss and Axedent reacted with a giant meeping noise, jumping backwards nearly ten feet.

That's when he sighed upon seeing a little rat poke out from the wall. It looked up at him, wiggled its whiskers before disappearing back in its hole. Axedent placed a hand to his spark. "I thought I was a gon--"

"--con trash!!"

This would be the second ambush of the night. Axedent shrieked when from the rafters above, Cliffjumper fell on top of him. Axedent hit the ground, banging the back of his head rather hard. The little red Autobot drew back a fist while straddling him. "I knew you'd all find a way inside!" he snarled, punching the Decepticon in the face. "Try to sneak in without me noticin', huh!?" He decked him again. "I can smell you bastards from ten megamiles away!"

"I-It's m-me!" Axedent cried, flailing his hands at him. His axe laid too far away from him to reach. "I'm your teammate now, remember!?"

"I'll show ya the meaning of pain!" Cliffjumper mindlessly frothed before dropping his elbow hard against Axedent's chest. Axedent released a painful gasp, his entire body giving a quick jump beneath the 'bot. "I am the Emperor of Paaaaaaaaain!"

Axedent managed to grab one fist. "Get offa me, you freak!" he ordered.

"Cliffjumper! _Cliffjumper_!"

Axedent cranked his head back, seeing a tall figure running at them from down the hall. Cliffjumper immediately went still, his optics snapping up at the stranger. Once he was close enough, Axedent saw it was Windcharger.

"Cliffjumper!" Windercharger exclaimed. "There you are!"

Cliffjumper decked Axedent before standing and pointing at his comrade. "Decepticoooon! GRAAAAAH!" he screeched before running forward. Axedent took this opportunity to grab his axe and crawl into an open and empty supply room.

Windcharger got into battle stance; he was much faster than Cliffjumper, grabbing the Autobot and throwing him down. Cliffjumper's faceplate became acquainted with the floor. Windcharger jumped onto his back, straddling and holding him still. "Cliffjumper!" the larger Autobot exclaimed, smacking Cliffjumper upside the head. "CLIFFJUMPER!"

Finally, with one final blow to the head, Cliffjumper stopped writhing and went quiet. Axedent poked his face out, confused and curious. Cliffjumper moaned before turning his head to the side, rolling one optic up at Windcharger. "W-Where am I?" he groaned.

"You went into recharge walking again," Windcharger sighed, relieved. "This is the third time this week. You've been running around in your offline state and attacking everyone and everything as if they were Decepticons."

Cliffjumper frowned. "I couldn't have..."

"We had to chase you around town the first time, because you claimed a stray cat that wandered into the Ark was a Decepticon spy," Windcharger informed in a sad voice. "I swear, sometimes your paranoia reminds me of ole Red back on Cybertron."

"W-Well!" Cliffjumper huffed, utterly embarrassed. He wiggled. "Get offa me! I'm all better now!"

Axedent slipped back into the room as Windercharger escorted his sore friend back to his quarters. He hugged his axe, narrowing his optics. "I hate everything," he sniffed.

* * *

Axedent's spitfire of hope was dimming the more he wandered through the base, unable to find Optimus and encountering more of the insanity of the Autobots.

Axedent wound his way back up a level, where at least it was well lit. He heard shuffling from the last door on the right at the end of the hall, and at that moment, he was too exhausted to care about precautions. The Decepticon approached the door, hearing a variety of noises from within.

_Even if Prime isn't on the other side of this door,_ Axedent grumbled, fiddling with the lock, _I'm going to kill **something**_.

Finally, the sparkling had hacked the door's code. Drawing back his axe, he got himself ready for battle. The doors slid open in a snap and just before Axedent could swing his axe down on what he hoped was Optimus, his arms froze in mid strike, optics widening.

It wasn't Optimus in front of him. No, rather it was an honest to God kangaroo. The animal just stood there, her ear flicking back, black beaded eyes staring up at Axedent. Axedent stared right back down at her. Not a word or sound escaped either robot or kangaroo's lips.

Axedent's grin twitched. "What..."

"You just don't understand!"

Both the 'roo and Axedent turned their heads to the back of the room. Hound sat on his pod, face in his hands, Mirage cowering over him. A large parrot was perched on top of Hound's head, two cats sleeping on the floor nearby and an old bulldog gnawing on a bone at Hound's feet. Axedent could distinctly hear something that sounded like a wolf somewhere inside.

"What's not to understand!?" the blue Autobot snapped. "You know I'm a hunter! Of course I'm not as sympathetic with animals as you are! Which is why I'm not going to share quarters with you!" He thrust a finger back. Axedent followed its direction; he was pointing at a pony laying in a pile of hay, crunching on some oats. "Especially when that _thing_ keeps making waste in my pod!"

"I don't plan on having Nana stay for much longer!" Hound insisted. "She was wounded when I found her, but she should be able to return to her herd in a few orns, as soon as her wound patches up!"

Mirage shook his head. "I understand you wanting to take in injured animals and nursing them back to health," he said, his tone rising, "but the Ark is _not_ a zoo! And if Optimus knew half the animals you kept here--!"

Hound jumped up, rousing a flock of pheasants sleeping beneath the pod to scatter across the room. "You're not going to tell him, are you!?" he demanded, afraid and hurt at the idea that his friend would do such a thing. "I swear, they're all going to be returned soon! Both to the wild and local shelters; they won't stay here for much longer! You can't tell him!"

"I didn't say I _was_ going to tell him, just saying what if he _did_ find out?" Mirage growled. He flailed a foot at a baby Mountain Lion attempting to bite him. "Until you clear at least half of these animals out of the room, I will be staying elsewhere."

Hound sniffed and sat back on his pod. "I understand..." He wiped the coolant forming in his optics away. "... If you don't love me anymore--"

"Oh for _Primus sakes_!"

That's when Axedent looked back down at the kangaroo. His optic twitched and so did her ear. He just stared at her silently as the door slowly closed in front of him.

* * *

The dawn had arrived, much to Axedent's chagrin.

The sparkling thought that he would have killed the Autobot leader before the sun rose. Rather, all he had succeeded in doing was walking around the Ark like a headless chicken, being scared out of his wits or getting ambushed by armed robot monkeys or sleep walking paranoid basket cases. Then there was the kangaroo--that would forever be a memory he'd take to his grave.

Which was where he might be going soon if he didn't get this mission accomplished.

Axedent had taken a detour towards the heart of the ship, away from the main chambers of the other Autobots. Really, he was now just wandering aimlessly, hope dwindling by a string. He drug his axe along the ground, caring very little about the noise it made and the occasional thumping when it went over a rough patch or bump. He was going to do the deed all right, but if he got caught in the process, it just didn't seem to matter as much as it did a cycle ago.

By sheer dumb luck, Axedent managed to finally reach his goal, however.

"I see. You can go ahead into recharge, Trailbreaker. I'll send Mirage to relieve you."

Axedent clamped a hand over his mouth to contain his squeals of excitement. He was face to face with Optimus Prime's personal quarters. It had to be his; after all, that was Optimus speaking from within. The Decepticon felt happiness bubble and explode inside him, causing his spark to warm with glee and hope.

_I'm gonna do it!_ Axedent giggled behind his hand. He gazed down at his axe, trembling in his grasp from joy. _I'm going to behead Optimus Prime and no one is going to stop me!_

Like a lion stalking his prey, the Decepticon crept slowly towards the door. His shoulders were pushed together, his hands squeezing a death grip on the axe. It seemed as if he were going to pounce, but he had planned the next moment meticulously cycles ago when he first started his quest.

_I'll just use the comm and say I'm one of those psycho yuppies of his. I think my vocals can pull off a pretty good Huffer. The moron will naturally tend to his precious soldier's needs and right when he opens the door--!_ Axedent pounded the axe in his hand. _Sweet victory is mine!_

His plan was going smoothly so far, and as he reached out to the comm pad on the side of Prime's door, he suddenly recoiled in surprise when he heard a squeaking noise behind him. Whirling around like a ballerina, Axedent turned and saw no one. All until there came a small bee-boop from below. Axedent blinked his optics then looked down.

At his feet was Roller, Optimus's tiny tank counterpart. The tank drew back an inch, canon seeming to "stare" up at Axedent. The taller Transformer didn't know if he should fear the droid or simply shoo it away. He had no prior knowledge that it was actually a part of Optimus. Nonetheless, they both quizzically studied one another, seemingly fascinated or at least confused.

It was then that Roller launched forward at Axedent. But not to attack him. To the Decepticon's surprise, the mini-tank flew at his leg and began... humping it. "What in Primus's name--!?" Axedent shrieked. This was the final snap to his sanity. Roller just made soft squeaking and grunting noises as he continued to pound relentlessly into the Decepticon's leg.

"Get off me!" Axedent cried, shaking his leg and slapping at the tank. It was a rather strong little guy and he kept at it, refusing to budge until it reached overload. To think, Axedent was going to spare the robot's life if it only turned tail and ran away. "Now you've done it..." he seethed, raising his axe.

Just before he went to land it on Roller, cutting him clean in half, the doors to Optimus's room behind him flew open loudly. Not a second later did Jazz and Cliffjumper come running down the hall.

"Roller!" Optimus exclaimed, surprised.

"Prime!" Jazz shouted.

"Jazz!" Optimus replied.

"Decepticon!" Cliffjumper growled, pointing at Axedent.

Prime looked over to the sparkling. "Axedent?"

"Prime!" Axedent gasped, caught.

"Bee-boop," Roller whistled, finally climaxing on the Decepticon's leg.

"You!" Axedent spat, infuriated.

"Roller!" Optimus chided.

"DECEPTICON!" Cliffjumper shrieked.

Axedent quickly dropped his axe. "I--I--I!" he swallowed, his systems going into a wave of hysteria. Roller hummed as he rolled off his leg and carelessly into Prime's room. Watching it go, Axedent finally made up an excuse, shouting, "I was suddenly attacked by that thing and needed to protect myself and I found that axe in the--down the--around--somewhere!"

Optimus did not seem fazed. "Roller is one of our companions," he informed. "And if you are now an Autobot, he is yours as well."

Axedent blinked. Had he... gotten away with it? Did his lie work? "O-Oh?" he giggled, flushing. He threw up his hands with obnoxious and painful laughter. "And here I thought he was some sort of Decepticon spy droid sent to, uh... spy! Ahahaha! Hahahaha!"

"It's nice ya'll are havin' some chuckles an' all," Jazz interrupted, "but Teletraan-1 just picked up Decepticon activity 'cross town at the Bayman power station!"

"I see," Optimus replied sternly. "Round up the other Autobots! I want Bumblebee, Ironhide, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and yourselves to come with me! Assign the rest to guard the base and be ready for emergency back up!" he ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Jazz and Cliffjumper retorted, giving their leader each a salute before running off to fulfill their duties.

Axedent felt his knees shake. Oh, no... No no no! He couldn't see the Decepticons right now! Not when Prime's head was still attached to his body! And if his axe wasn't too far a distance to grab, and Prime wasn't obviously off guard, there was no way he was going to do it now!

Optimus turned to Axedent. "Now is the time to avenge the pain that has been inflicted on you, and to show your true colors as a new Autobot," he said in a tone all too fatherly and sage-like. "Come along and we will fight alongside each other as brothers in arms! Protecting and fighting for each other!"

Axedent's jaw was on the ground. Oh, _shit_.

* * *

T/B/C

NEXT CHAPTER:

The epilogue! A short battle, drastic measures and a tragedy. Woe.

A/N: For anyone who has questions, I figured I should answer them.

**Q: Woman, your measurements of time; define!**  
A: I've seen some certain measurements used for one thing or another. So basically, mine goes: cycle equal hour, orn equal day, megacycle equal fuckton of years and it's obvious what astro/nanosecond mean. Breem to me is more or less 8 hours.

**Q: LOL why does Ratchet have an axe in his medical supply closet?**  
A: Because he's Ratchet.

**Q: The entire... hand-twisting-off thing...**  
A: I got it from the early Marvel comics. I don't remember seeing too much hand removing so much as hand just going back into arm and being replaced in the cartoon, so yeah.

**Q: When are you going to write some hxc smut?**  
A: Because he's Ratchet. Oh wait--


	7. Abort

'Suuuuuuup? Well, here it is! The epilogue and the end of Axedent's long journey. You will laugh, you will cry, you will scream, you will have to go take a nap and then you will laugh some more. Also, hey! It's my 23rd birthday and this is my gift to you bebes. ;) So you better enjoy!

* * *

Epilogue:

**Abort**

* * *

Now, to say Axedent was "terrified out of his wits and armor" would be the understatement of the millennia. Never before in his very short life had he been so afraid as he was now. Megatron blowing him up as a spark, nearly being torn to smithereens for an initiation ceremony, surviving Shockwave's drunken activity hour, Thundercracker and Skywarp nearly turning him into scrap metal and every single Autobot close to ripping him limp from limp were nothing, absolutely _nothing_ compared to this.

Axedent had pleaded to stay behind, however. "You know, I'm still a little bit sore from the beating yesterday," he told Optimus as he scampered after him down the hall, "I think I should stay behind and rest. You don't need a fatigued soldier on your battlefield, do you?"

But Optimus could see through his lies as if they were transparent. He turned and clasped the smaller bot's shoulder, causing Axedent to wince. "I understand you are afraid," he said softly, fatherly, "for this will be your first time battling the ones you once knew as your own comrades, accepted as your own family. But they are now your enemies, Axedent, and threats to both yourself, your fellow Autobots and humanity as we know it." He sighed sadly. "Unfortunately, at times they outnumber and out-power us with sheer ferocity we peaceful Autobots could never achieve, mostly for we hope not to sink to their levels and become needlessly violent."

_I really don't care, you idiot,_ Axedent thought but replied, "I-I understand, but--"

"We need your help, Axedent," Optimus interjected. He released his shoulder then gave it a pat. "Do not worry. Myself and the others will cover your back, make sure you are safe."

_For some reason, I don't think that'll help._ Axedent just nodded, head hung low. He... wasn't going to get out of this, was he? Besides, a small portion of why he had been chosen to go into battle instead of someone else was a test of his loyalty. Leaving him at the base supervised would do nothing, but he'd show his true colors in the midst of war. Axedent knew it was painfully obvious not one of the Autobots trusted him--and rightfully so, which made it even worse that he felt bad. Optimus, to some extent, _wished_ to trust him, but still did not.

There was no helping it. Axedent would have to go to battle--as an Autobot.

* * *

The young "ex"-Decepticon reconciled with himself that he could still get away with his plan. If he lurked and stayed out of the fire, perhaps he'd go on unnoticed. By choosing not to shoot at anyone when no one was looking, and to aim pathetically in a distance too far to tell _whom_ he was aiming it, perhaps he'd confuse both factions into not knowing whose side he was on. Surely if he did not hit any of them, no one would shoot at him. Well, except maybe the Decepticons, but that's why he kept a low profile.

Bayman's power station wasn't that far from the Ark, making the trip short; even worse for Axedent. When they arrived fifteen kliks later, the Decepticons had all ready made good due of their peaceful time and stacked up a large pile of energon cubes. The power station was now running on its last leg, the few brave remaining humans hiding out and calling for multiple authorities.

Soundwave was the first to see the oncoming Autobots. He immediately dropped his energon cube, exclaiming, "Autobots detected!" Immediately, his fellow compatriots stopped what they were doing, getting into battle mode.

"Transform!" Optimus ordered as he drove closer, morphing into his original robot mode. Jazz, Cliffjumper Bumblebee, Ironhide, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker followed in suit, all once more their robot forms.

Axedent had been at the rear in his jet mode; unable to fly, it was an embarrassment having to use his weak little engines to drive along the ground like everyone else. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe made sure to laugh at him the entire way. Instead of transforming, he make a sharp turn and hid behind one of the giant factory's energy domes, out of sight.

Megatron pointed forward. "Decepticons, attack!" he snarled.

Immediately, both sets of troops clashed, grabbing at one another, wrestling and throwing each other side. Axedent continued to watch; so far so good, no one had noticed his presence or lack-thereof. Skywarp, Thundercracker and Starscream took to the skies in their jet modes, shooting lasers at the helpless Autobots below. Bumblebee, Jazz and Sideswipe took cover behind the factory's buildings, shooting at the Seekers.

Unfortunately, Ironhide had decided to take cover behind the building Axedent was currently occupying. "What are ya doin' over here!?" the red mech demanded. "Ya too chicken or sumthin'!?"

Axedent transformed into robot mode. "N-No! Not at all!" he gulped, shaking his head and hands. Shitshitshitshitshit. "I'm just--just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike, that's all!"

Ironhide shot a laser at Skywarp, nearly hitting his left wing. "Well, we could sure use ah flyer right 'bout now!" he stated. "Go up thar an' give yer old friends a nice greetin'!"

"I..." Axedent faltered. "I... can't fly."

The old mech turned and gave Axedent a baffled glare. "Ya can't fly? Y'were serious back there, 'bout not flyin'?" he barked. "Yer alt mode's a jet an' ya can't _fly_!?"

Axedent threw down his arms. "Look, it's complicated!" he sighed, resigned. "Bad genes, okay!"

"Wouldn't sound too farfetched, considerin' yer ma an' pa," Ironhide sniggered, taking another shot at one of the jets. It hit Starscream's belly, causing the Seeker to shriek with pain and make an emergency landing, smoke trailing behind from his wound. "Ya, how ya like that!?" Ironhide cackled, pumping a fist. "Got one at yer ma fer ya!"

Axedent was not grateful at all. "Thanks," he mumbled nonetheless. As Ironhide went to shooting at the remaining two jets, Axedent poked out his head discreetly to convey the ground activity. Soundwave was toe to toe with Sunstreaker, Rumble and Frenzy both on Cliffjumper's hide, Ravage predictably wrestling with Bumblebee while everyone else, both Autobot and Decepticon, were shooting at the other behind trees or buildings.

Axedent then spotted Megatron and Optimus, throwing fists and kicks at one another. He smiled; Prime's back was facing him, and he had a great killing shot. The young Decepticon glowered back at Ironhide a few feet away from him. Luckily the old soldier was too distracted trying to shoot down Skywarp to pay him any attention.

The Decepticon sniggered. _Perfect._ Ratchet had reluctantly removed the locking code from his weaponry and Axedent rose his finger, glowing and pulsing with raw power. He pressed his back to the building, moved out into the open just a tad, then knelt and positioned his finger much like if he were holding a gun.

_Aim for the head_, Axedent told himself, dimming one optic to get better focus. Right now Megatron had Optimus locked into place, hands coiled around hands. Axedent's smirk was identical to Starscream's as he released a little "heh" and--

"Kid, what're ya doin'!?" Ironhide suddenly shouted.

Axedent, compelled by fear and shock, whirled around, his finger releasing a blast of purple energy. Ironhide was well out of the way, and instead of him getting hit, the laser shot up into the sky, hitting Skywarp dead on.

"What!? Slag!" the purple Seeker shrieked, bolts of electricity dancing up along his body, as he swayed, struggling to maintain control. "I can't see! I can't see! Oh, Primus, notagain_Ican'tseeeee_!" he cried, helplessly crashing nose-first into the Earth below.

Axedent slapped a hand to his face. Not like it was a complete waste of a shot, though. Skywarp deserved it after what he did yesterday. But Ironhide's gullibility and thumb's up made him sour. "Slag, ya really _do_ pack quite a punch!" the older mech laughed. Much to the "ex"-Decepticon's chagrin, Ironhide felt no fear of him and went back to firing on the enemy.

Axedent quickly looked back around the dome. He cursed when he saw Optimus was now farther away, him and Megatron too tangled up together to get a good shot from this distance. "Guess I'll have to move," he grumbled, sneaking past Ironhide. He checked until the coast was clear and made a beeline out into the open and into a cluster of trees and power lines. Now Optimus was close enough for another shot.

"I won't fail this time," Axedent insisted, not realizing he was just trying to qualm his insecurities instead of stating a fact. Nonetheless, he was confident and laid out on his belly between two trees, using the bushes to keep him hidden. He once more powered up his digit and carefully locked onto Prime's head. Now activating the trigger, he--

Suddenly, there came a loud boom and explosion right behind him, barely missing blowing off his legs, a stray shot from Thundercracker above having been knocked off its collision course to Jazz. It had, however, succeeded into knocking Axedent off the ground and mess up his aim. He fired, but not at Optimus--rather, he hit Soundwave, who jumped with jolts of shock and toppled over, landing right on top of Rumble and Frenzy. The currents of electricity sparking off his chassis were strong enough to electrocute the smaller Decepticons beneath him. Just powerful enough to deactivate their overloaded systems.

"Noooo!" Axedent cried, hands flying to the sides of his head. Not again!

Ravage was distracted by the fall of her master and fellow Cassetticons, enough so for Bumblebee to deck her in the jaw and send her flying. Before she could even land, he shot her in her right front leg. The mechanical cat hit the ground with a thud, struggling to stand with her now broken leg. "Woohoo!" the yellow Autobot laughed. "Whoever fired that shot gets my seal of approval!"

Axedent ground his teeth. _Dammit_. Oh, well, he wasn't going to let this mishap screw his plans up. _Third time's a charm, right?_ he told himself before secretly following Megatron and Prime tango over to a new location.

They were too close for a good shot. Axedent had no choice but to go idle. The battle wasn't looking good for the Decepticons, however. Soundwave, Rumble and Frenzy were all deactivated. Thundercracker was alone in the skies; he was being shot at by too many Autobots that he could not fire back, using all his power and strength to dodge the multiple hits that came raining up at him. Skywarp had gotten to his feet, limping around, still blinded; Axedent was distracted for a moment to watch him run into a tree, fall over and roll down a steep hill. Starscream was back in robot mode and fighting; the blast had enabled him to transform and help Thundercracker above. Laserbeak was out, taking on Sideswipe.

The Autobots were going strong. Jazz's arm had been shot, disconnecting wires from his equilibrium chip, leaving it nothing but dead weight. Nothing that couldn't be repaired and nothing that would stop him, as he continued to fire at Thundercracker. Sunstreaker got grazed along his shoulder, succeeding in leaving a small slice and some scrapped paint. However, this only fueled his power, making him stronger and before Sideswipe knew it, the Lambo had pounced on Laserbeak and was pounding him into a pulp with mindless hell-bent rage.

Megatron had been too distracted with his battle with Prime that he had not noticed all the causalities to retreat. But he had moved aside, giving Axedent another great opportunity to extract his scheme.

"I won't miss this time," Axedent hissed. He climbed up a small mound, gazing over at and down at the two leaders fighting below. He glanced back and forth; the Autobots were distracted, especially when Soundwave recovered with a shake of his head, standing and instantly going into battle.

"Perfect! That ought to keep them busy," Axedent said. He then dimmed his optics, channeling all his power into his laser finger. "I can see it now," he mused, "I'll blast off Prime's head, and Megatron will be like"--his hands went to his cheeks, mouth dropping open--"'who is the powerful, brave Decepticon who did this!?'" He had even made his voice heavy and deep in his throat. Axedent smiled proudly as the power continued to accumulate. "I'll then stand up and"--he pounded a hand to his chest--"declare I, the great Decepticon Axedent, killed Optimus Prime!"

He was in pure bliss. "Megatron, Starscream, all the Decepticons will be in awe of my presence. Amazed, maybe even a little envious. But that's bound to happen," he sniggered. The power loading was nearly finished. "Megatron will surely make me his new second in command. And then I'll continue to dazzle and amaze, so much..." Axedent paused, onlining his blazing optics, his happy grin now maniacal. "He'll have no choice but to step down as leader and relinquish the power onto _me_! Ahahahaha!"

All this pain would be worth it in the end. It would make him stronger, make him better. No pain, no gain, right? And after Megatron made him Decepticon leader, he'd dry this planet of all its energy, rebuild Cybertron and become the greatest idol of all time. Even the Autobots would be powerless to him. After Earth, after Cybertron, why not the entire universe? Who knows what sort of energy deposits this solar system's other planets had?

The Milky Way would be entirely for his taking. Then the next universe and the next and the next... All of these grandeur ideas filled his head, distracting him from the task at hand. He wouldn't help it; Decepticons were prone to pre-victory celebration disorder. In the end, no matter the way he'd become Emperor of _Every Single World In Existence_, the faces of the Decepticons and Autobots when he blew off Prime's head topped everything.

In the middle of all his fantasizing, he was torn away when his system released a soft beep then a whir of life. His finger was glowing bright blue. Axedent's grin turned Cheshire Cat. "All my power, all my energy," he murmured, raising his finger, "is in this single digit." Fear lingered in the back of his cranial chamber. This was the final shot he had. After he'd fire it, he'd be completely powerless; most likely he'd need an entire orn to recharge.

But it was worth it, he knew this. Even if it meant one hell of a hang-over afterwards.

_I'm going to dish out a menu of pain_, he smirked. _Main course is utter humiliation, with a side of victory and tonight's special? MURDER SOUP!_

However, since he hadn't been paying attention, he had not yet noticed that in the blink of an eye, Megatron had thrown Optimus down on the ground and thrust the barrel of his cannon in his faceplate. "This is the end for you, Prime," he sniggered darkly. Optimus could see power charging up from within the depths of the cannon. The Autobots attempted to intervene, but Thundercracker, Soundwave, Starscream and even a limping Ravage held them back, unable to take any shots at Megatron. At this point in time, Axedent was still gloating.

"To think it's finally coming to an end," Megatron smirked. Optimus was unable to do a single thing. Just as he was about to shoot and annihilate Prime into particles, he cackled, "Goodbye forever, Optimus Prime!"

Only to have it echoed from a short distance away. "Goodbye forever, Optimus Prime!" Axedent laughed and feverishly popped out and fired his laser, just in the nick of time to realize he shouldn't have. Everyone gasped and gaped in anticipation and horror as the laser beam, so strong and bright, came heading directly at Megatron. Starscream crossed his fingers with a big smile.

However, Megatron acted quickly, generating his energy shield from his fist. He rose it and the laser collided with it. The impact sent Megatron flying nearly twenty yards away, his heels dug into the ground to serve as brakes, leaving behind thick streaks of upturned Earth. He kept being thrown backwards, his shield starting to break down beneath the beam's force.

Finally, knowing if he kept holding it back, it'd eventually break through and possibly destroy him, he quickly dropped over onto his back, the laser beam flying over his head and striking one of the power station's buildings. However, instead of blowing a hole through the station, it bounced off its surface and came flying backwards the way it came, nearly taking down Megatron this time around.

Rather, it was on a clear, dead set mission back to its source--Axedent. Axedent trembled and cursed as it came closer. "Shi--"

The beam hit him and the entire patch of forest around him blew up into smoke, sending debris flying into the air. Everyone shielded themselves as rocks and chunks of Earth and trees came hailing down on them. One rather large rock crashed into Skywarp's head; it reversed the damage to his optics, causing them to dim back online. "I'm cured!" he squealed happily before another rock pierced his mouth.

It was quiet, neither Autobot or Decepticon speaking. They slowly lowered their limbs from their faces, the air thick with dirtied clouds. As the air started to thin out into clarity again, they saw the remains of the forest where the laser had hit. Nothing but scorched Earth.

Bumblebee bit into his bottom lip, making a pained noise. "Ffffff, _ou_."

Megatron looked down at his arm, crisp and black. He surveyed his troops, finally noticing the damage. "Decepticons, retreat!" he snarled, taking flight.

Cliffjumper went to shoot him down before Prime extended a hand, stopping him. "No," he growled, "let them go."

The rest of the Decepticons followed in suit, Starscream pouting over the survival of his leader. Once they were gone, the debris had cleared greatly. The Autobots approached the site of impact, staring down at the smokey, black ground.

"No doubt 'bout it," Jazz said, his good arm slung over Ironhide's shoulder. "That blast was definitely from Axedent."

Cliffjumper walked ahead before spotting Axedent's discarded hand a few feet away. He picked it up, turning it around in his hands. "The blast must have disintegrated him into slag," Cliffjumper said. He couldn't see anymore remains. He handed Optimus the damaged hand.

Prime shook his head. "So young..." he mumbled. He then stood straight, took the hand and turned to his crew. "We have lost a good comrade today. Brave, high-spirited and above all else, perhaps, misunderstood. If it wasn't for him, I would not be standing before you right now." He looked sadly to the hand. "We shall honor his sacrifice... as long as there is freedom."

_That... doesn't make any sense._

Sideswipe perked his head. "Did... someone just comm me?" he inquired. Everyone shrugged or shook their heads.

He shrugged too before Sunstreaker rushed forward, frothing, "My paint job! My paint job! I'll _kill_ them _dead_ into _deactivation_!"

"Calm down, man," Jazz chuckled.

At Sunstreaker's sociopathic ranting, lightheartedness filled the Autobot's sparks. "We should return and get everyone into a nice long recharge," Prime said. Everyone agreed with nods. Optimus turned and squatted, scooping up three large piles of dirt with his hand. He placed Axedent's remains in the hole and covered it back up, serving as a grave.

Optimus stood and stepped away, standing straight and saluting. Everyone followed in his pace. Ironhide helped Jazz by raising his numb hand to his head for a salute. When they were finished with their collective moment of respectful silence, Prime turned and pointed to the morning sky. "Autobots!" he ordered. "Transform, and roll out!"

The robots were all now in their alt vehicle modes, quietly driving back off to the Ark.

"Th... Those... id...iots..."

Axedent, however, was still functional. The blast had knocked him nearly half a mile away, landing right between the wedge of two sharp boulders. The blast had also blown a giant hole in his abdomen, turning his entire chassis a charred black. His remaining hand was left with only three fingers, one optic hanging from its socket, his legs completely disintegrated.

"S-So... mu...ch pa-in... Can't m-ove..." he cursed, attempting to move. He had succeeded in wiggling one finger; but it was not without consequences. It caused his engines to release a hissing cloud of exhaust as he sunk deeper into the wedge, a chunk of his hip still attached to him by mere wires. "Gr-e-at..." he grumbled, shivering with pain.

Axedent needed help immediately. Though his chances of survival were very low, he could still fight through it. If he truly willed himself into surviving, he could do it. He just needed lots and lots and lots and _lots_ of medical attention. However, trying to contact anyone was impossible. He had all ready used up all his powers. The emergency energy his body was running on wasn't enough to do any type of communication at long distances. The best he could do was talk in broken sentences and words.

_Is this the end for me?_ he thought then winced. It even hurt to _think_. His shattered working optic turned up to the sky. Old rain clouds were moving over head; he could only take this as an omen. _I can't die... I've gone through too much..._ Axedent struggled to shift himself into a sit, but all he could manage was a little sway. _Too young... too many things to do... too many people to meet... haven't even interfaced yet..._

Axedent's cooling systems were clunking and clanging inside his mutilated chest. The heat of the blast was causing more wires to short circuit and before he knew it, his vocalizer snapped. _Great, can't even talk now..._ He sighed a little, though it came out as a small hiss from his throat. Coolant struggled to cloud his single optic but he forced it away. _I'm_ not _going to cry. I'm going to be just fine. Sooner or later, someone'll find me. Surely a human will contact the Autobots, wondering if I'm one of them or wanting to report me as 'possible danger...'_

Yes, that was how it would turn out. Bayman's wasn't that far away. The authorities, dozens of humans, were surely on their way. One or two of them were bound to find him while rummaging around for remains or survivors. All he had to do was lay there, look helpless; which wouldn't be hard at all. He wasn't wearing the Decepticon insignia, so surely they would think he was an Autobot.

Yes, those gullible little fleshlings. They'd report him to Optimus, who'd retrieve him; Ratchet would heal him and then, then he'd try again. He didn't _care_ if he failed (badly) the last time. He _was_ going to see his dreams come true.

_I_ will _destroy Prime. I_ will _rule the Decepticons. I--_

"So, it appears you _weren't_ disintegrated as previously thought."

Axedent's optic lit up and his armor shivered in shock and terror. The shadows of the clouds disappeared, replaced by something much darker. Megatron and Starscream stood side by side before him, Megatron's arm nearly entirely healed up. The two smiled at their youngling, but there was fury in their red optics.

Axedent opened his mouth to speak--but nothing. "How unlucky," Megatron sniggered, "you should have let your own blast destroy you."

_No! They knew it was from me! Then--_ Axedent gulped. He tried to get his vocalizer to work, but nothing. Nothing nothing _nothing_!

"I must say," Megatron mused, "you certainly have Starscream's knack for turning against me." Starscream kept quiet. "But _you_--that was very bold of you. Even Starscream has some subtlety." Again, Starscream couldn't say a word. "If that blast had hit me, I'd be in your shape right now. Dying and withering away very, very slowly."

Axedent kept trying to talk. All that got past his lips were little gurgles. "Save your words, or the remaining ones you have," Megatron growled.

Starscream cackled and kicked Axedent in the side. It caused that chunk of hip to finally break off. Axedent shivered and made another throaty grunt. "You're not going to be forgiven _this_ time, brat," the Seeker giggled.

"I'm afraid Starscream is right," Megatron feigned a guilty sigh. "I've come here to finish you off, you see."

Axedent's optic widened. _No, no, no! This can't be happening! I--I didn't mean to shoot at you! I was aiming for Prime! I was trying to_ help _you! You got to believe me! I--I'm on your side, I'm your servant, I'm--I'm your_ son_!_

No matter how much he screamed, none of this could or would be heard, even if he was plainly speaking them aloud. Nonetheless, his body wiggled in a vain attempt to try and flee, to move, to get away. But he knew he had nowhere to go. He was cornered, trapped and about to be turned into slag.

Starscream snapped him to attention. "Do you have any--" he then broke off into laughter. "That's right, you can't talk!"

Megatron frowned. "I should have done this the moment I saw you in the brig," he snorted. Starscream mouthed a "I told you so" behind his back. Axedent made a little squeak. This--this was a mistake...! Megatron glowered over at his second. "Starscream! Let's get this over with quickly!"

Starscream swept a hand to his chest and bowed slightly. "As you command, Lord Megatron," he purred. Axedent trembled; please, no, not--!

In terror, he watched Megatron transform into his gun mode. Starscream caught him then aimed the barrel at Axedent's face. Axedent's body creaked violently. _This can't be the end!_ he cried. All his visions of conquest, his hopes, his dreams and his rather pathetic life flashed before his optic. He still had so much to do...!

"This is the end," Starscream sniggered. He squeezed back the trigger. "Now off you go, with love from your creators."

Axedent hissed out a scream. _No--!_

The gun released a single blast, hitting Axedent's head bull's eye, causing it to explode into shrapnels and smoke. To make sure he was truly dead, Starscream shot him in his chest, right at his spark chamber.

Starscream twirled the gun in his hand before throwing it up; Megatron landed on the ground a second later. "If something like _that_ happens again," Starscream growled, pointing at Axedent's dead body. "_I_ get to be the leader!"

Megatron slapped him. "Shut up."

"Waugh!"

And the rest... was silence.

* * *

THE END

* * *

Wooo, it's all done. Thanks for everyone who took time to read, review and fave this little experiment. I just wanted to write a fic that kinda pokes fun at the Mary Sue/Gary Stu genre as well as kinda explore the crackified lives of the Transformers via an outsider's eyes. I hope you all had a fun time and some bellyful chuckles were had! Thanks again! EDIT: Haha, regarding the MS/GS comment over there, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I do have my own OCs, but remember, this fic was poking fun at _everything_ in and outside the fandom. It was _not_ meant to offend. And if you were... well, that wasn't the point, sillies! :)

Also, I like to think that Axedent's mutated spark survived the blast. That it floated off into space, where it got caught in a black hole and was warped into an alternate dimension. And in this dimension, his spark will spiral out of control, going on a crash course to the Earth below, where he will collide and completely eliminate a young boy named Kicker Jones... If you get my drift. Wouldn't that be awesome? Awesome sauce.

Oh, and I just had to include the special after this. It had to be done! Also, a promise for all of you who wanted smut, harharhar.


	8. EXTRA: MA PSA

This is obligatory. Yes. And, **oh lawd, is that some Megatron/Starscream smut!?**

* * *

EXTRA

**MA PSA**

* * *

It was a warm summer night, perfect for a nice date outside. At the drive-in movie theatre, it was crowded with dozens of cars, all of which were occupied mostly by teenagers. The giant screen overlooking the dirt lot was playing a romantic comedy, suitable enough for both genders, especially when it aspired their moods. They held each other in their tender embraces, head against head, smiling ear to ear. Some, however, were hardly paying attention to the movie...

Overlooking the drive-in on a cliff sat a small red car. In the back seat, two nineteen year old teenagers were holding one another, kissing passionately. A second later, the girl, a pretty blonde in a baggy sweater and sequence leggings, recoiled from her lover. "I think we're getting in too deep, Bobby," she said nervously.

The boy, wearing a jeans jacket and butt-hugging acid washed pants, kept his hold on her, albiet loosely. "Don't worry about it, Lisa," he assured. He kissed her again. "We've been dating for a year now. We are faithful to one another and trust one another. We're both healthy young adults, you know? There's nothing wrong if we do it..."

Lisa frowned her pretty ruby lips. "I know, Bobby, and I trust and love you, but..." she trailed off, looking away. "I just don't know if we should do it in public."

"This ain't public, Lisa," Bobby chuckled. "We're out in the middle of nowhere. Ain't no one below gonna see us."

"Are you sure?" Lisa whispered, embarrassed.

Bobby nodded and cupped her cheeks. "I'm sure, baby, right as rain," he crooned before planting a quick kiss on her lips.

Lisa's cheeks turned red beneath his touch. "Okay, Bobby..." she purred and wrapped her arms around him, locking into another compassionate kiss. And just as Bobby went to slide his hand down her glittery pants--

"Stop right there!"

Lisa and Bobby shrieked in horror, both jumping to other ends of the car, pale and shaking. Standing before their car was Axedent, hands on his hips, disappointed frown on his faceplate. "I-Is that a-an Autobot?" Lisa whimpered, flying back into Bobby's protective arms.

He shivered. "I--I don't know..."

"Do you kids have any idea what you were just about to do?" Axedent demanded.

Bobby gulped. "Have sex...?"

"Exactly!" Axedent snapped, causing the teenagers to scream. "And you were going to do it _without_ protection, weren't you!?"

"We--what?" Lisa sniffled.

Axedent shook his head. "Having unprotected sex can lead to all sorts of dangerous things," he informed, wagging a finger at the terrified couple. "You could contract a type of disease, even from someone you trust, or you could possibly end up having an unwanted pregnancy!" he explained, optics widening. The teenagers widened their eyes too, exchanging shocked glances.

"We wouldn't want that!" Bobby insisted firmly.

Axedent smiled. "Which is why you should always wear protection when you have sex," he said. From his arm compartments, he removed a condom and pack of birth control pills. "Men should wear condoms. Not cheap dollar store condoms--you don't want to risk you or your lover's health, so splurge and buy the really good ones!" he insisted. "And women should consider trying birth control. Especially to avoid getting pregnant!"

"Thanks a lot!" Bobby exclaimed. "We are now well informed and educated! We know what we have to do now!"

"And knowing is half the battle!" Axedent laughed, the couple joining him.

Lisa pressed a finger to her bottom lip. "Hey, you know--I always wondered what robot sex is like..." she murmured.

Axedent grinned and tilted back his head, stroking his chin as he thought it over...

* * *

Starscream released a noise, a hybrid of both pain and fury. Megatron had his face squeezed in his large black hand, his fingers and thumbs digging deep into the Seeker's cheeks, against the dental band and jaw structure. It hurt, but not as much as his pride, considering this grasp forced his lips out into a girly purse.

Megatron held Starscream out by his face, his second pulling at his arm to let go. "You really _are_ getting more bolder as the orns progress," the Decepticon leader snarled, only squeezing harder. There came a creak of metal; slaggit, he had left a dent in his cheek. "Bolder _and_ more idiotic!"

"Ahm scorry, mai Lord!" Starscream exclaimed, starting to panic when he felt another bend in his cheek.

Megatron let his face go; for a split second, Starscream had a moment to recover, but it was short. Just as fast as he had let him go, Megatron grabbed him by the throat, closing his giant hand tightly around all the cords and mechanical muscles. The Seeker made a squeak and once again, tried prying that hand off. "You think simply by apologizing, without sincerity I might add, that I'd just let you off the hook entirely!?" Megatron spat.

_Never stopped you before_, Starscream thought but dared not say it aloud. Once again, he just apologized, trying to sound genuinely apologetic. That failed, but it was quite obvious by his tone he _was_ scared.

"Oh no, no, no," the silver mech sniggered, "not this time around." Before Starscream knew it, one of Megatron's digits sunk in between two cords around his neck. Two cords that just happened to be extremely sensitive. He twitched in his grasp, causing Megatron's grin to coil higher as his finger tugged at the wires.

"Now," he said, continuing to taunt the circuits, "we can do this two ways. On one hand, we can settle this by our ever so favorite activity besides trying to kill each other, or, on the other hand, we can continue playing that game and, well..." He paused to pull back one cord rather hard, stretching it out and thus causing Starscream to make a little screechy cry. "... Let's just say, I'll win."

Starscream gulped. "I-I like," he gurgled, "op-option one." And there, of all the times, he was being a smidge sincere. Not that he'd ever admit to it, however.

Megatron laughed. "You'd do anything just to save your own hide," he snorted before tossing Starscream away.

The Seeker grunted when his back collided with the wall, nearly bending a wing in half. Just before he could let himself fall onto his knees, Megatron was pressed up against him, sandwiching him between the wall and his chassis. If Starscream could breath, he'd find himself gasping for air at how hard the Decepticon leader was pushed up against him. His cockpit released a nail-on-chalk board's squeak as it rubbed against the silver mech's branded chest.

"It's a little shameful, don't you think?" Megatron purred, flicking the loose cord in his second's neck again. It caused a jolt to rush through Starscream's chassis. It _was_ shameful for him to resort to this to stay alive. Even worse, he found, much to his disgust, that he _enjoyed_ it. He'd never live this down--even when he'd eventually become Emperor of the Decepticons, this would haunt him forever. Slag.

Starscream choked on a small noise. "I... feel no shame..." he lied. Well, he couldn't _admit_ it. Not if he wanted his brass bearings to fall off. To emphasize this, he stuck up his nose, even with Megatron's faceplate right against his, the scent of high grade energon and oil wafting from his mouth cavity.

"I find that hard to believe," Megatron said. His digit traveled down Starscream's chest. "Then again, _nothing_ you say is believable anymore." His fingers scooped into Starscream's left chest turbine, brushing and stroking along the still rotary blades inside. It made Starscream tingle and knees buckle. He ground his teeth, biting back the desire to moan pleasurably. Slagslagslag. Maybe he should activate those blades and cut off one of Megatron's fingers. Surely that'd make him feel better--then _really_ get him killed.

Starscream squinted his optics. "Why can't... I be... top--"

Megatron's hand was now at his left wing, squeezing the edge. He sent small sparks of electricity into the limb, giving pinching sensations to his wiring beneath. This time he did release a little groan, causing Megatron to grin. "Because," the silver mech smirk, before his grip on the wing got too tight for comfort, "you're too weak for to dominate me!"

With a small growl, he tossed Starscream across the room, nearly to the other side. Starscream belly-flopped on the ground with a loud "oomph." Just as he started to draw up on his hands, Megatron hooked his heel against his hip and forced him on his back. "I could have done it myself," Starscream hissed lowly before Megatron's foot was now pressed to his face, threatening to squash it like a melon. "I didn't say anything! I didn't say anything!"

"Oh, shut up," Megatron scoffed. He opened his chestplate, revealing an intricate design of wires and cords, all curled up and around his spark chamber hidden deep within his chest cavity. The wires were blue and red like veins, except for the main energy pump, much thicker and a deep wine purple. One end was connected to a port, the other at the core of his spark chamber; much like a human heart's blood vessel, it served to move energon and oil through his systems from his spark, throughout his entire chassis and back in a full circle.

It was a breathtaking sight, Starscream thought. Megatron's spark was hidden deep away, but he still exposed so much. Open and out in plain sight, easily accessible, all those cords asking to be torn, broken and--Starscream scowled when all this excitement forced his panel to open on its own, showing a similar structure from within. Megatron couldn't help but snigger at his expense, drawing his foot back from the Seeker's head.

"It looks like your chassis has no complaint," the Decepticon leader gibed. Starscream just looked away, though one optic did roll back to watch Megatron fiddle with his main spark artery. He disconnected the end connected to the port, keeping the other in place on his spark chamber. He unwound it into a near three feet, sparks of purple energy dancing off the socket's ring.

For a short period of time, a spark could continue circulating energy throughout the body on its own. After some time, if the main vessel was not connected, it went back on emergency fuel storage. For now, the two could share each others energy with no worry whatsoever.

Megatron was straddling Starscream a second later. Starscream couldn't help but buck up against him, grinding plating to plating. It was pathetic, he knew, his body being so wanton, but he couldn't help it. Megatron was just having the time of his life watching the would-be traitor hunger for his touch. "You never had any patience," he taunted before practically ripping out one end of Starscream's own fuel pump.

Starscream winced. "Y-You did that on purpose!" he whined. He nearly ripped the cord in half, the bastardcon!

"Stop crying," Megatron scowled. He ran his thumb along the red cord's socket. It felt good, but Starscream knew he wasn't doing it to pleasure his partner. No, rather, it was like he was _cleaning_ it. Not that this was a surprise; he always made sure to rub it off before he plugged it in. Naturally it offended Starscream, but he was not without his own way of insulting.

Satisfied, Megatron plugged Starscream's cord into his port. In return for offending him, when Megatron connected his fuel pump into Starscream, the Seeker made a disgusted blanch and twisted his face. Unfortunately for him, Megatron didn't give a damn. He rather just saw him as being immature instead of insulting.

Neither Decepticon trusted each other at all, let alone enough to handle each others sparks. Sparkbonding was too romantic for their tastes anyway. Instead, they relied on sharing spark energy, violent and raw as it was. To get the ball rolling, Megatron summoned a surge of power into his chamber. "Are you going to scream like last time?" the Decepticon leader snorted, pinning down Starscream's twitching wings. "I don't want my audio receivers to short circuit."

"Don't worry," Starscream snarled, and he could feel heat rolling from Megatron's cord. "It _won't_ happen again." Megatron didn't deserve to hear him shriek in ecstasy.

Megatron just smirked. "We'll see," he purred and lowered the volume on his audio's regardless. When he had finally accumulated enough energy, he stiffened his body and with a growl, sent it storming down his fuel pump, right into Starscream's chest. When it hit him, the power flooded his system; enough so that his avionics glitched, causing sight and sound to become temporarily disorientated. Contrary to what he promised, he _screamed_.

Megatron just laughed. The impact his surge had made reverberated from Starscream's system, sending him back energy in a type of recycling process. His thrust wasn't as powerful, but Megatron knew that even before they started. It still caused his chassis to shiver pleasurably as his spark consumed Starscream's excess energy. "Couldn't keep your composure, could you?"

_Shut. Up._ "I-It was an accident," Starscream stammered, still recovering.

"Let's see if you can fight it back a second time," Megatron purred, his spark releasing a pulse of raw energy once more. It hit Starscream like a tsunami and for a second time, he had cried out. This time a tad more quieter, however. Still, Megatron had the upperhand--that's usually how it always ended up.

Starscream's spark echoed with a gush of energy. A little stronger than the last, as if it was trying to reflect the surge it received. Not as powerful, no, but still the results were pleasant when Megatron shuddered with a lazy grin. Starscream twitched beneath him as his left optic kept loosing its signal with his main avionics system.

Megatron had sent him another radical pulse. It forced Starscream to arch his back, their bodies grinding against one another, metal hissing against metal. Starscream bit back his howl this time and now the interfacing became a competition. His spark was not one to be outdone, and though it had absorbed some of its emergency energy supply (he didn't want to waste kliks for it to gather excess amounts), it shot like a bullet through his fuel pump and into Megatron's spark chamber.

Still, the silver giant did not cry. Though he swayed a little, and a shiver ran down his backbone infrastructure. If this was going to be some game, he would win. But then again, technically, nobody would be a loser. Megatron need only a few seconds for his system to make a backlash, nearly using as much force as Starscream had sent but without the need to use emergency fuel. It caused him to predictably shriek and writhe.

The stakes were being raised higher now. Starscream's spark was just as stubborn as he was, and it gathered more and more energy at a rapid pace, causing the Seeker's body to wilt against the floor. Once it had filled its loading capacity, his spark blasted the energy into Megatron's system. But still, Megatron would not scream, though his entire body was racked with chills and he faltered forward a little, his shoulders slacking. But yet he kept his composure; if Starscream's spark had a voice, it'd be cursing viciously.

"Is that the best you can do, Starscream?" Megatron crooned. His fingers dug along his fuselage, the Seeker twisting around, making tiny noises from deep within his throat.

"N-Not by a long shot," Starscream seethed.

But he had no time to retaliate, as Megatron's spark pulsed more energy into his system. It was strong enough to make Starscream's spark reach final overload; almost, however. He made a gasping noise, optics dimming. His systems were about to deplete themselves soon, and that would mean Megatron would win this round. "You're so very close to the edge, Starscream," the silver mech whispered, hips quivering.

"A-Am not!" the Seeker cried pitifully. He had to divide his energy preserves now. Megatron was definitely on the victorious side. Half the energy he'd have to leave be unless he wanted to overload into deactivation. The remains he collected, for one last, powerful shot. This would have to shake up Megatron's system. With a hiss, he sent the fuel pumping fast and hard into Megatron's chest.

There came a definite growl from Megatron, one louder than usual. His shoulders rose high, his head bowing as his back curved like an agitated cat's. Even his optics had to offline for a moment to gather strength from the blast. Starscream, though looking ragged, smiled happily.

Oh, yes, he was going to wi--

Then Megatron rose his head, grinning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good try, but not good enough," he said and the next pulse he released secured his place as the winner.

It was too strong for Starscream's spark to handle. The energy pierced right through his chamber, hitting the spark at its core. It caused the orb of light to go into a supernova; as if collapsing into a black hole, it sucked up and absorbed all the energy around it, overloading itself. And only astroseconds later did his back curl upward, his jaw drop open and he cried out in orgasm, his entire system sparking with violent jolts of electricity.

The overload reached Megatron a few seconds later, and he came soon after, releasing more energy into Starscream that would force him offline. Megatron sat there on his second, body heaving as the initial overloading sensation faded away. His spark was dim, tired, but not as exhausted and fatigued as poor Starscream's.

"Overloaded into deactivation," the Decepticon leader sniggered, removing his fuel pump from Starscream's chest. This startled the still Seeker, causing him to online his optics, though the brilliant red was pale.

"What... happened?" he croaked.

"I proved too strong for your systems to handle," Megatron taunted, plugging his cord back into its proper place. "And you went offline. Might as well return to recharge. You probably won't be in commission for another ten cycles." He slapped aside Starscream's disconnected cord carelessly and stood. "Thus keeping you out of my sight for a good while."

Starscream made a disapproving noise. He couldn't find the strength to argue. Megatron closed up his chestplate and turned to the door. "I'd help you up to your berth, but I think laying sprawled out, helpless and powerless on the floor is more suiting for you," he chuckled, moving to the sliding open doors.

"Same... for you," Starscream murmured lowly.

"Take your time, soldier," Megatron cackled and left with a swish of his hand. "I certainly don't need your services any time soon."

Starscream watched the doors shut before his soft optics rolled off to the side. His pod was only a few feet away. If he could just... Starscream managed to flop onto his belly like a fish out of water, crawling over to his berth. Oh, one day he'd make Megatron the weak and helpless one broken on the floor. Yes, yes, _yes_.

The Seeker smiled to himself as he imagined such a sight, crawling up into his pod. He'd give the jerk a nice swift kick in the side to add insult to injury. Starscream sniggered as he closed his pod case and immediately went into recharge.

Little did he know, as he slept, his spark was releasing a surge of energy. It would rise from within him, where it would mutate, shift and mold into a new spark, a new life...

* * *

Axedent's jaw was slack, his entire body immobilized with what he had just imagined. If he had blood, his face would be pallor white. He had no idea where that vision came from, or why it was so clear, so real, as if he were standing there the entire time it was happening. He had not meant to think _that_ deeply about it and yet... Now he saw everything. He saw how he was born and saw what mech sex was like--between Starscream and Megatron, of all mechs.

"Oh, _Primus_!" Axedent gagged. He shook--the image would forever be burned into his processor. "What am I saying!?" he scowled. He turned to the curious teenagers. "_ABSTINENCE_!" he shrieked before giving their car a kick.

Bobby and Lisa shrieked as their car flew off the side of the cliff, down below into another car in the drive-in's lot. There came screams of terror and panic as everyone quickly ran to help any survivors out of the wreckage.

Axedent grabbed his head. "Why, _why_..." he whimpered.

* * *

THE END

* * *

Remember kids: if you're gonna play patty-cakes, wear latex gloves! ;)


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